Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning

Solutions

To Your Caregiving Situations

Throughout Your Caregiving Years

 

 

Someone Like You:
Meet a Recipient
of the 2004 "Caregiver of the Year" Award:

 

Chris Corbett, Surfside Beach, S.C.

 

Care Recipient: Chris’s father, who now is in end-stage renal failure and receives dialysis three times a week. He was diagnosed with cancer and suffered a debilitating stroke in 1994.

Nominated By: Chris’s mother, Carol

Excerpt from Nominating Letter: When the hospital sent Tom home they did so without stitching up the wound from the exploratory surgery. Medicare sent a nurse once a day while he had an open wound. His wound had to be cleaned, a concoction of stuff made up for the wound, and bandaged three-four times a day. Christopher did this. He wouldn't even let me see my husband's wound for months because he said that it was nothing more than raw meat. He told me that it was big enough that he could put his whole fist in my husband's stomach. The hospital said that if they stitched Tom up, they would be stitching up the peritonitis poisoning. The nurse trained Chris and he literally took over the care of my husband from that point on. He took my husband to chemo at Yale-New Haven Hospital twice a week. He had to carry him from the bed onto the wheelchair, into the car and then into the doctors' offices. He is STILL doing that. He changed my husband's illeostomy every day. He gave him his medications. He fed him…

   My husband wakes up a couple of times a night and usually we have to get him medicine or drain his bag. My son has NEVER complained once in ten years about taking care of his father. Throughout the course of the ten years my husband has had numerous hospitalizations, at least three or four per year if not more. The doctors have said that they cannot believe Chris. They really feel as though Chris has saved my husband's life by the care he has given him…

   I get totally stressed out now taking care of my husband, the little that I do because Chris still does everything. It’s just all the extras, "get me my pills, get me a urinal, get me a drink”, etc., etc., etc. You have to be a very special person to be a caregiver and although everyone says that I am, I could not ever hold a candle to what Chris has done. 

In Chris’s Words:

When I feel stressed, I: Take a break

My current challenge is: Smoking. I’m trying to quit.

When I have an extra five minutes, I: Play a game on the computer.

My mantra is: Just do it.

The legacy I would leave to another family caregiver is: Learning a better way to transfer my dad. I figured out that if he sits up straighter, transferring is easier on my back.

My 2005 goal is: Get my real estate license and work under a broker.

My holiday plans this year include: We’re trying to get to Connecticut but the dialysis centers are full. We really would like to spend one week with my grandparents.

It’s hard to know if the sun is shining in South Carolina when talking to Chris on the phone. But you can feel the rays of the sun during the conversation. Chris is a ray of sunshine. It’s hard to envision anything but his sunshine even though the past ten years have been an unimaginable struggle for his family.

   All was well for the Corbett family on August 14, 1994. By noon the next day, all was very wrong.

   Tom, then 62-years-old, woke up at 3 a.m. on August 15 in excruciating pain. A trip to the Emergency Room and exploratory surgery determined the cause of the pain: a tumor on his colon. Even worse, the delay from the time he was brought to the ER and underwent exploratory surgery meant he also had peritonitis poisoning and a 105 degree fever. Three days later, Tom suffered a massive stroke to his left side.

   His wife, Carol, and their two sons, Jon, then 27-years-old, Chris, then 21-years-old, were stunned. But they also were determined. Knowing that a long road lay ahead of Tom, they decided he would return home—and Chris would be the one to provide care. Carol and Jon had the jobs with benefits; Chris had his own landscaping business. The family needed the medical benefits that Carol and Jon had from their jobs; Tom needed Chris; Chris could lift him.

   Ten years later, little has changed in the family’s determination since Tom returned home. And, having said that, all has changed. Carol was diagnosed with breast cancer during a trip to Myrtle Beach in 1997. Carol says that Chris cried when he learned of his diagnosis and said: "Mom how can you do this to me? I need you". The family had hoped to settle permanently in Myrtle Beach, but Carol’s diagnosis meant the family had to return to Connecticut, where Carol could receive treatment under her medical plan. As soon as they could, they returned to Myrtle Beach. Carol’s cancer returned last year, this time to her ovaries and uterus. She needed a complete hysterectomy. Another trip back to Connecticut for treatment. Now settled permanently in the Myrtle Beach area, the South Carolina sun seems to renew the family’s spirit.

   Chris describes life in Myrtle Beach as just easier; he’s not fighting bitter cold and deep snow when taking his father to dialysis. “The weather is nicer,” he says, “and the ocean is only one mile away.”

   With nice weather throughout the year, Chris has more opportunity to flex his green thumb; he loves to garden (an English garden frames the front of the house) and plans on adding a vegetable garden in the near future. And, he can fish.

   He treasures the special times he can spend with his dad; going on rides, talking and comparing coin collections are favorite activities. And, he appreciates the good days, when he gets a lot done (yard work, house cleaning). There have been sacrifices, the biggest one being Chris’ back. The daily 12 to 14 transfers that Chris does took its toll and took his back out of commission for about nine months five years ago. The doctor told Chris, then 26-years-old: Your back is like one of a 50-year-old man.

   A minor adjustment in his transferring technique has made a huge difference and Chris’ back is back. Now looking toward his future, Chris, who picks up landscaping business when he can, would like to receive his real estate license in 2005. No doubt he will know great success as a realtor. After all, he knows the value of providing a loving home.


Meet our Other Winners:

Nancy Hoffman

Pam Godzala

Terri Jones

Robert Olsen


And, meet winners from previous years:

1995 Winner

1996 Winner

1997 Winner

1998 Winner

1999 Winner

2000 Winner

2001 Winner

2002 Winner

2003 Winner: Kathryn

2003 Winner: Joan

2003 Winner: Diane

2003 Winner: Elizabeth

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