Someone Like You:
Meet a Recipient
of the 2007 "Caregiver of the Year" Award:

Aracelis Fernandez, Bronx, N.Y.

Nominated by: Diana King of PSS Caregivers Support Program, Bronx, N.Y.; read nominating letter

Care Reipient: Aracelis' husband who has Alzheimer's disease

In Mrs. Fernandez's Words:

When I feel stressed, I: watch TV because I can’t sleep. My husband wants us to be in one room, always. I can hardly take time for myself.

My current challenge is: I wish that I can find (a treatment or cure) for Alzheimer’s so I can help my husband.

When I have an extra five minutes, I: like reading. I like drama. I hardly have a chance. Monday’s paper still is unread on Friday.

The legacy I would leave to another family caregiver is: Don’t give up and have courage. You need a lot of courage and lot of patience. Once in a blue mood, you’ll get mad. But, you have to think about your husband. The reason is that I believe God is helping me with everything. I don’t think a person who doesn’t believe can be a caregiver. You have to have the confidence in yourself. Everything is about confidence without being scared. For me, my confidence is my God. Without God, I would never do it.

My 2008 goal is: I wish I had (more) help. My husband used to go to adult day care every day. I’m still working on the paperwork that Medicaid wants so I can get more help. I want to sell this house and buy a ranch so he won’t be confused.

Mr. Fernandez wakes up wanting to go. So, they go. And, then when they arrive, he wants to go home.

Mrs. Fernandez takes this in stride and with a laugh as she relates a story about a trip to Kmart. “When we go to Kmart with my granddaughter, as soon as we get there, he says, 'Okay, let’s go home.'”

Mr. Fernandez also takes great comfort in his wife's presence, so much so that he rarely leaves her side. So, when she showers, her nine-year-old granddaughter, Aloura, takes over and watches her grandfather.
When Mrs. Fernandez speaks of her husband, you can hear the love in her voice. “He’s funny and makes me laugh,” she says.

She manages the wandering and constant need to eat and go out. She's enrolled her husband in Safe Return, takes him to adult day center two days a week and does her best to keep him occupied. “He used to love to read the newspaper. He won’t wear glasses, so he can hardly see,” she says.

She struggles, though, with the family's suggestion that she place her husband in a nursing home. “The family is scared,” she says. “People get really scared because don’t know what to expect. I don’t want him to go nursing home because he still recognizes me.

“It’s difficult for me. When I look at him, he’s my husband. When I deal with him, he’s not.”

Married for 33 years, Mrs. Fernandez raised three daughters and now cares for her granddaughter, who has inherited her grandmother's compassion and sense of humor. Aloura's mother, who battles drug additions and is HIV-positive, currently resides in a mental facility.

Mrs. Fernandez plans ahead so that she can continue to meet her husbands' care needs. Now, at 57-years-old, she's learning to drive. “My husband gave me the courage,” she explains. “I have to do for us. I want him to be comfy. When we go out to stores and out for lunch, he'll tell me he’s tired and wants to go home. I want to be able to drive us home.”

Her deep faith carries her through her heartaches, as she loses her husband to Alzheimer's disease and her daughter to addiction. She would love to attend weekly mass again with her husband and granddaughter. With her driver's license, her hope may become her reality.

And, God, if you're reading this, adult day care five days a week for Mr. Fernandez would be great, too!--Denise M. Brown

Meet Our Winners:

• Leon Beer, nominated Sharon Lebenkoff of Leeza's Place at Park Slope Geriatric Day Center in Brooklyn, N.Y.
• MoZetta Zion, nominated by her self
• Patty Kearns, nominated by Nancy Lewin of Johnson & Johnson Caregiver Initiative
• Norma Bell, nominated by Sharon Pease, Norma's daughter
• Kimi Morton Chun, nominated by Sheila Warnock of ShareTheCaregiving, Inc.
• Aracelis Fernandez, nominated by Diana King of PSS Caregivers Support Program, Bronx, N.Y.

And, meet winners from previous years:

(Unforeseen difficulties caused us to put the contest on hold in 2005 and 2006.)

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