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Hello to all. I am Doxiedad and I found you all while looking for people who are spousal care givers. Do take offense but at 61 I don’t feel old and other sites I have looked into appear to be populated by those 20 years my senior. I know there have to be people in my age group that have found themselves in a position they never thought they would…[Read more]
@g-j Meant to include you but my fingers flew too fast. Feel free to jump in and share about caring for a spouse when you’re young.
Of course I never thought I would be 34 helping my husband fight for his life and missing out on things that I see my friends doing. I used to be jealous. Now, I am grateful to just have my husband still with me.
Wow and I thought I was young having to deal with the whole shebang. It is tough when friends ask you to do something or you just want a minute to yourself and you can’t. I hope I can contribute to the group
Hi! Being a caregiver for my spouse at this age sure wasn’t what I expected in life! I was 49 when my 55-year-old husband was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, a possible alzheimer’s precursor, five years ago. Our son just turned 18 and is in his first year of college.
My husband was immediately put on disability and had to retire a year…[Read more]
Thank you for the reply.
I to have went through all of those things, especially with family. After her stroke and then being diagnosed with dementia my wife was put on disability as well. Friends (the ones we did have) slowly went on with their lives and stopped calling. I do work because even though your world has been turned upside down the…[Read more]
I knew going into my relationship with my husband (I was 24) that he had health issues (blood disorder), but we sure didn’t expect him to have so many complications at the age of 40. I didn’t think that at the age of 36 (he’s 45) this is where we would be. I work full time and he is home on disability. It’s been a hard go with him feeling left…[Read more]
Thank you for your reply and encouragement. Finding a place where other people know what you’re going through is great.
Hi, I am 52 and I never dreamed my husband (who is 53) would be on disability, unable to work. People see him walking around and they think “he’s doing pretty well.” Well, no, actually he’s dying of cancer and there’s nothing I can do about it. We’ve only been married five years and I thought I was going to have a lot more time with him.
The most important thing to do is enjoy the time you have and keep in your heart those things that you share.
Hi, I almost didn’t comment when you said you were looking for younger spouses who are caregivers. Glad to see I’m right in the same age range as you! I’ve been full time caregiver to my husband for awhile now. I am newly retired, and yes, this is not how we planned to spend our retirement. Glad you found this site, you will find this…[Read more]
Pegi, thank you for your words of encouragement. For as much as I do do, I don’t like to think of my age as being a old. I am a thirty year old stuck in a sixty year body. I am sure your can identify with that.
Hi everyone! I am caregiver for my 72 year old mother. I am frustrated because technically, there is nothing wrong with her right now. She finished up her chemo a year ago and all her scans have come back no cancer. She seems to be developing dementia or alzheimers, but she won’t get tested…..I am not well myself fighting with her to get her…[Read more]
Hi Terri! It’s good to see you. Glad you stopped by today. @barb shared a great comment today on our “What’s Your Caregiving Lie” post; you’ll find it here: http://www.caregiving.com/2014/11/tell-us-whats-your-caregiving-lie/#comment-469978. I think you can do what you can do. I also think we often have obstacles, like an uncooperative caree,…[Read more]
Things are rapidly going downhill with my husband’s condition the last 3 weeks. He has almost stopped eating and is more and more confused. We have Hospice helping now and they are wonderful.
After a very stressful 3 days I found myself experiencing discomfort in my chest and shoulder on the left side. Decided to play it safe and went to the…[Read more]
It’s Sunday night and I’m looking through the tasks for next week. I categorize them as My Life, Mom/Aunt/Other, Work. I try to only schedule 3 things each day, otherwise I get totally overwhelmed.
@lloyd welcome to the site. You are a caregiver to three and still have time to run a b&b/restaurant/farm? You must tell us your time management secrets! I hope you find this site as useful as I do — great group of people who “get it.” I look forward to getting to know you.
Hi ee2000 — I am sorry about your mother’s cancer diagnosis. If and when you feel up to it, tell us a little bit more about your mom’s situation. What kind of cancer and what kind of chemo? Is she working or at home? My husband has pancreatic cancer and is unable to work. We’re gearing up for his next course of chemo, Gemzar and Abraxane…[Read more]
Thank you. My mom has stage 4 neuroendocrine colon carcinoma. They were able to remove the cancer from her colon, she now just has three spots on her liver.
She starts chemo soon, don’t know which cocktail or medicines, she gets her port Friday. I do know it’s three days then a month off and another round and so fourth.
So much has…[Read more]
I’m glad your mother was a candidate for surgery. My mother died of colon cancer five years ago. She hated going to the doctor and delayed dealing with her symptoms until it was too late. My father was understandably angry, but he faithfully cared for her until the end.
A “mess” is the operative word around here as well. So much to be done;…[Read more]
It helped they had no clue at that time what was wrong with her. They knew she had something blocking her colon from the colonoscopy.
They basically did the surgery blind, they knew the location of the blockage just not what it was, turned out it was a tumor the size of a tennis ball and it was cancerous.
To be honest, I am not sure if…[Read more]
Thank you for letting me join the group My life has been very stressful lately with the passing of my mother in July and the same day my mother passed my father fell and broke his hip and eventully had hip surgery and before the surgery was done he had pneuomia in both lungs He is now home needing around the clock care so my life has been very stressful
Linda — welcome to the site. I can understand the feeling of want to cry all the time. You need time to grieve and yet you have the relentless pressure of caring for your father. Hopefully your father’s recovery will proceed smoothly. But you are right — all you can do is take it one day at a time. I hope you will feel comfortable venting…[Read more]
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