My caree has been having what seems to be a decline over the past 3 weeks and today is one of those really weak days for her so it is naturally a quiet Sunday – which translates to staying home. She normally enjoys church. We’ve taken her to see the doctor 3 times in the past 2 months and he has made slight changes in her diabetes medication and shes had a dopplar test to check her arteries (one spell was fairly scary and could have been a mild stroke).
So my day today is sort of a reflection of hers. (but I have my computer and I can read and get housework done) I am grateful that she could get up and have a nice breakfast with us at the kitchen table. She is 92 and dealing with so much. My caree is my husbands mother and he and I are able to have her with us in our home at this point — it is fast becoming a possibility that we’ll need to get more help and make different choices but we know the ins and outs of those having been thru it with my fatherinlaw.
I am most grateful that having come here and listened to several webinars — I have tools to work thru my feelings and the practical aspects of taking care of myself too. I’ve dropped a lot of anger and I’ve been able to make room for some forgiveness (where other spiritual things I tried fell short I just really love the written exercises in the webinars and Denise I am so grateful for those).
I’m sure that I will make the most of the day at home — where in past I know I wasted a lot of time with self pity. A lot of things clicked recently. I want to be able to help my caree for as long as I can + at the same time I am aware that I must be open to help in the many forms it comes in because this is not a sprint it’s a marathon. I’m taking the best care I can of myself and my husband, my caree, and our 3 cats. It’s a little too peaceful sometimes until the TVs start getting loud! But because there are 2 of us we are able to get out of the house some.
I think it’s a mixed day. My caree has 5 children. 3 others in the area one out of state plus my husband her son. 2 of them came for 15 minutes yesterday. It’s what they can do I guess. There are extenuating personality issues that make meetings impossible so I’ve accepted that it’s the 3 of us here who have to make decisions – my caree, myself and my husband. We hired an agency to send help while I go home for 3 weeks to see my family next month. That will be a blessing. I have not seen my family in 3 years.
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In Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too, Denise takes a word, applies it to your caregiving situation, and then offers a reflection of hope. Buy here.
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