Currently Browsing: Weekly Comforts
Sometimes, the struggle in your life can feel like hole in the toe of your sock when you’re wearing boots on a snowy day.
It’s irritating, uncomfortable and aggravating.
In the moment, it also seems unsolvable, like it will last forever. Like you will always be walking in your boots in the snow as your toe sticks out of your sock.
Of course, the hole in the sock can be a quick fix. You can sew the sock...
Oh, this caregiving is so hard!
It’s making your life hard, your day hard, your heart hard.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if caregiving seemed like the softest mattress possible, always giving such a comfortable landing. Or, that it tasted like the most wonderful soft-serve ice cream, so creamy and delicious you always want more. Or, felt like the softness of a baby’s skin, so beautiful that you...
How many times during the day do you catch yourself looking down?
Perhaps you look down because the weight of caregiving seems too heavy. Or, maybe you look down because it feels like your life is down there—going down the drain, flushing down the toilet. Or, you might be looking down because that seems to be the best way to prevent a fall.
When you can, look up. When you look up, you find fresh air. When you...
Often, when I shop at Target, I struggle to find a cart that’s not tarnished with someone’s trash and whose wheels don’t bump loudly along in the store.
And, so it feels sometimes in the struggle to stay positive.
Our cart in life can fill up so quickly with trash—the self-doubt, the worry, the anxiety. Will this work out? Will bad luck become good luck? Will life ever feel normal? Will I...
Our Chicago Marathon took place on Sunday.
On Tuesday night, I had a dream I ran, and finished, a marathon. I ran it in four hours, 50 minutes. I also ran it without having run more than three miles on any previous run.
Today, I wonder: Was that really just a dream? Or, is that what we really do in life? Is it possible to accomplish so much without much training?
Think of what you do every day. Think of what you...
At times, I will think: I’m not ready for that. To talk about that. To do that. To know that.
At times, I think I will never be ready.
And then I do it anyway.
Because when I think, I’m not ready, I’m really thinking: I am sooo afraid of what I’ll read. Or what I’ll know. Or what I’ll encounter. Or how I’ll feel. Or what others will say about me. Or how I’ll look. Or...
Oh, you need a hand in caregiving.
Some days, you wish you had three hands. Other days, you just wish someone would pitch in with their hands. And, other days, you hope caregiving is not something you ever have to hand to another.
And, then you have those really tough days, when the hands of time either move too slow or too fast.
When hands are too few or too slow or too fast, give yourself a hand. Know you that...
Caregiving can be quite laborious, can’t it? And, often, it can feel like anything but a labor of love.
It can be such back-breaking labor, from the lifting, the cleaning, the transferring. And, it can be such heart-breaking labor, as you stand witness to pain, loss and struggle.
It’s hard to understand why we have this kind of labor in our land.
Maybe, really, it’s a labor of the soul, for both...
Some days, you may want to scream to the world (or perhaps to just a few inhabitants of your world):
“See!! Do you SEE!! what my life has become? Do you see?”
Because all you can see are doors that close, people who leave and luck that brings bad. You’re drowning in your life.
What if you could look beyond the sea of despair to the ocean of opportunities? What if you could see beyond...
This morning, I mentioned to Jane that I have a meditation that may be helpful. The meditation, which takes you to your personal paradise, helps you relax and regain your footing.
I thought you might all enjoy the meditation; you’ll find the recording, below. The meditation is the third recording. You can listen here or download to your mp3 player to listen at your convenience.
I also recorded two more Weekly...
We may spend some of our day looking around at others and think, “Their lives seem so easy. I wish I were them.” What looks easy to you, though, may be the cover of a life that’s tough for them.
Easy is in the eye of the beholder.
So, rather than judging another’s life of ease, focus on wishing everyone a life of blessings. And, know you have blessings, too, even in the unease of your life....
When we’re children, we sing all the time. We sing songs to learn, to express ourselves, to connect with others.
And, then somehow, as adults, we seem to stop our songs.
Sometimes we stop singing out of embarrassment that others may hear our imperfect key. Other times we stop singing because we decide the song can do without our voice. Many times we stop singing because we decide a tough time is no time for...
I have neighbors who live above me who make an incredible amount of noise. They make so much noise that all I hear is noise.
What’s the noise you hear in your life?
Your noise may be what you hear between your ears (“This is too hard”) or what others put between your ears (“You look like this is too much for you”). It’s that kind of noise that seems to demand constant quieting....
Some days, you might wish you could reach for the paste, so you could glue together the pieces of your life. Caregiving can seem to act like a scissors, cutting your life into bits and pieces.
Rather than trying to paste together what was, put together a new picture of what is. If you focus so much on what was, believing there’s nothing for you in the what is, then you miss the true of glue of your life...
Oooooooh, you may think. How am I going to face this?
It may be another diagnosis, yet another new home health aide, a different treatment regime, a visit from family, a decision about end-of-life care.
Or, it could simply be another day.
When it seems that what you face is too big for you, call in the support. Tell a trusted friend that you feel like it’s getting to be too much. Take a walk. Share your worry...
I love to watch The Real Housewives of… Well, any city, state or county. New York City, New Jersey, Orange County, Beverly Hills, Atlanta. I’m there. And, I love the spin-off, Bethenny Ever After. (I even emailed Bethenny to invite her to be a guest on the talk show to discuss forgiveness.)
The reality of their lives fascinates. They live in beautiful homes, they eat out a lot (and don’t gain...
Your stomach may turn. You may feel like your life has turned (upside down). And, then, comes the hard question:
When will it be my turn?
Sometimes, in caregiving, it can seem like you’re in line at the buffet, only to have everyone and their cousin step in front of you. You keep your place in line without ever really moving up in line. You watch as others feast and you stay stuck in a famine.
Will your...
When it’s a bad day and you’re in a bad way, it can feel like you live in Never Land.
Life will never get better.
You’ll never have what you want.
You’ll never have a life.
Never Land will lure you and make you feel this is where you belong. This is your life.
Oh, sure, Never Land seems soo comforting in the moment. Nevers are such a wonderful way to describe how it feels. More important,...
You didn’t receive a diagnosis but it sure can feel like you’ve received a jail sentence.
Sentenced by caregiving.
In what seems like a minute, caregiving has taken away your privileges: Your freedom, your flexibility, your future. And, it’s put you in what feels like the tiniest room in the world: A room full of supplies, equipment, devices and medications you never knew existed. In this tiny...
You’ll have those days when you want to throw up your hands, scream “I’m Done,” and then just walk out the door, never to return.
You’re done with caregiving.
It could be that the day just became too much of not enough going well. It could be that the day included unhelpful comments from unsupportive family members. Or, it could be that you couldn’t get out and, wow!, did you...
They call it a rat race. Wikipedia says it’s a “term used for an endless, self-defeating or pointless pursuit.”
Some days it sure can feel just like that—a race with no finish line in site, no cheering spectators to encourage, no cold water to refresh, no break from a beating sun.
When the race becomes about wheezing and sweating, stop. Rest. Breathe. Recover.
In life, we cross the finish...
Sometimes, the pants are too tight. Sometimes, the budget is too tight. And, sometimes, the quarters are too tight.
And, then, at times, it’s all too tight.
When it all seems too tight, how can you find room?
Let loose with a walk, a plan to adjust, quiet time alone. When you lessen the hold that tight has, you somehow find more room in your life. The walk reminds you that you can make healthy choices. The...
