It’s irritating, uncomfortable and aggravating.

In the moment, it also seems unsolvable, like it will last forever. Like you will always be walking in your boots in the snow as your toe sticks out of your sock.

Of course, the hole in the sock can be a quick fix. You can sew the sock back together. Or, you can discard the socks and buy another pair.

Oh, if only the hole in your life could be fixed with needle and thread. Or a simple toss into the trash.

Closing your life’s hole does take a steady hand and a watchful eye. Be steady in your approach to solutions and help; don’t give up. And, be watchful of the state of your heart, welcoming support and love while letting go of bitterness and resentment so the hole doesn’t grow.

We can heal the hole in our life during our struggles. And, when we come out of our struggles, we’ll see that our holes heal to form our quilt of life, fastened by our threads of triumph. It will become the warmest quilt we’ll ever own.

Reminder: We’re solving your problems on our live call-in show, which airs tonight (January 24) at 7:30 p.m. ET. Do you have a caregiving worry or concern you can’t resolve? Call us tonight at (646) 652-4944 and we’ll help you find your answer. Listen to our live shows (or download the podcast for later listening) here.

Take Comfort: Our books, Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too, can fill the hole in your heart. Buy them here.

Related Articles

• Respecting Yourself with Boundaries (caregiving.com)

It’s making your life hard, your day hard, your heart hard.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if caregiving seemed like the softest mattress possible, always giving such a comfortable landing. Or, that it tasted like the most wonderful soft-serve ice cream, so creamy and delicious you always want more. Or, felt like the softness of a baby’s skin, so beautiful that you can’t help but marvel.

I’m not sure why we have such hard life experiences, like caregiving.

I do know that you bring the softness to the experience that makes us look at you in awe. You are the mattress, the soft-serve ice cream and the marvel. All rolled up into you.

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• Family Caregivers Count (caregiving.com)
• Look Up (caregiving.com)

Perhaps you look down because the weight of caregiving seems too heavy. Or, maybe you look down because it feels like your life is down there—going down the drain, flushing down the toilet. Or, you might be looking down because that seems to be the best way to prevent a fall.

When you can, look up. When you look up, you find fresh air. When you look up, you see the sun which shines and the stars which sparkle. When you look up, you can find your possibilities, your solutions, your future.

When you live in hopelessness, you look down.

When you trust your faith and yourself, you look up.

Look up—that’s where you’ll find your life.

Book Sale: Buy two of our caregiving books and get the second at 50% off. Use this coupon to buy “Good Morning, Sunny Reflections to Start Your Day” and “Take Time, A Journal and Journey Toward Happiness During an Unhappy Time.” Or, use the coupon to buy “Take Comfort” and “Take Comfort, Too.” It’s a great way to get twice the support! Buy here and use coupon code SECONDHALF305. This coupon is good through January 15.

Coming Up: Solitaire Showdown returns Sunday (January 15). High score at the end of our four-hour play-off wins $50. The showdown begins at 1 p.m. ET (Noon CT, 10 a.m. PT) and ends at 5 p.m. ET (4 p.m. CT, 2 p.m. PT). You can start practicing here.

Reminders: Our live call-in show airs tonight at 7:30 p.m. ET (6:30 p.m. CT, 4:30 p.m. PT). Call in and share your answer to our question: How can communities help prevent caregiver burn-out? First call wins!! Listen here.

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• Hand (caregiving.com)
• Book Club Discussion: Take Comfort (caregiving.com)
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• Respecting Yourself with Boundaries (caregiving.com)
• Where Do You Shop for Caregiving Supplies? (caregiving.com)

And, so it feels sometimes in the struggle to stay positive.

Our cart in life can fill up so quickly with trash—the self-doubt, the worry, the anxiety. Will this work out? Will bad luck become good luck? Will life ever feel normal? Will I have time to live the life I want?

And, then come the bumps, which sound so loud that everyone can see our struggle. We push the cart full of trash that bumps along. We struggle. The world sees.

We can feel positively awful.

And, then, we realize we have a choice. We can put our trash where it belongs—in the trash. We can throw way our self-doubt, our worry and our anxiety.

With an empty cart, we can see we can easily switch out a cart—and use one that glides through life and life’s bumps. We understand the bumps aren’t personal or to be avoided, but to experienced with a trusting spirit, an open mind and a forgiving heart.

We can be positive that our bumps can really make our life.

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart – Confucius

Updates

1. Congrats to Natalie who a Caregiving.com gym bag for sharing her six-word caregiving blessing.

2. My books are on sale! Save 20% with this coupon code: BURIED305. You purchase my books here, available as an Ebook or in paperback. Sale ends October 28.

3. And, tomorrow, our monthly free webinar takes place. Join us here at Noon ET as we take on blame. We’ll continue the conversation about blame during our Twitter chat on Sunday, October 30, at 8 p.m. ET. Join us on tweetchat.com with the hashtag #carechat.

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• Go (caregiving.com)
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Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Our Chicago Marathon took place on Sunday.

On Tuesday night, I had a dream I ran, and finished, a marathon. I ran it in four hours, 50 minutes. I also ran it without having run more than three miles on any previous run.

Today, I wonder: Was that really just a dream? Or, is that what we really do in life? Is it possible to accomplish so much without much training?

Think of what you do every day. Think of what you did every day a few years ago. Today, you run a marathon. A few years ago, you ran just three miles. And, my guess is that you went from three miles to 26 miles overnight.

Every day, you run a marathon. Every day, you cross the finish line. Every day, you deserve a moment to soak in what you do and just feel incredibly good about it.

Every day, you live my dream.

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At times, I think I will never be ready.

And then I do it anyway.

Because when I think, I’m not ready, I’m really thinking: I am sooo afraid of what I’ll read. Or what I’ll know. Or what I’ll encounter. Or how I’ll feel. Or what others will say about me. Or how I’ll look. Or how I was wrong.

In essence, I’m afraid of what I may discover about myself.

If I stay comfortable in believing I’m not ready, I keep myself weak. I’m telling myself: You are weak, so stay right here. Don’t take another step.

If, however, I feel I’m not ready and I still go, then I’m giving myself a chance to be strong. To face it. To understand it. To right a wrong. To see myself in a different light.

I’m giving myself the chance to be bigger than my fears.

You are ready, too. Even when you don’t feel it, know it. You deserve the chance to be big. You are ready.

Updates

• Your Caregiving Journey airs today at 2 p.m. ET and tomorrow at 10 a.m. ET. For our complete schedule, visit here.
• Our chat on Twitter takes place Sunday (October 2) at 8 p.m. ET. Our topic is happiness; can you be happy during a tough time? To join, just go to tweetchat.com, log in with your Twitter credentials and enter our hashtag: carechat.
• Today’s the last day to save 40% of my books! To buy, go here.

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Some days, you wish you had three hands. Other days, you just wish someone would pitch in with their hands. And, other days, you hope caregiving is not something you ever have to hand to another.

And, then you have those really tough days, when the hands of time either move too slow or too fast.

When hands are too few or too slow or too fast, give yourself a hand. Know you that you are enough. Understand that you do enough. Rest in comfort that your life’s speed finds you right on time.

Hand it to yourself. Because you’ve had a hand in all the blessings of your life. Look around—your blessings and opportunities are all within your hand’s reach.

Updates

• Be sure to visit our Caregiving Art Show!

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It can be such back-breaking labor, from the lifting, the cleaning, the transferring. And, it can be such heart-breaking labor, as you stand witness to pain, loss and struggle.

It’s hard to understand why we have this kind of labor in our land.

Maybe, really, it’s a labor of the soul, for both you and for your caree. It’s hard on the heart, which is why the soul steps in. When the heart falters because it breaks, the soul can because it believes. When the heart stops because it dreads, the soul continues because it understands. When the heart laments the why, the soul leads with a vision.

No, perhaps, it’s too hard to be a labor of love. And, that’s why it’s the perfect labor for the soul.

Updates

• Your Caregiving Journey airs tomorrow (September 7) at 10 a.m. CT (11 a.m. ET). We’ll answer the question: Is this just a bad day for my caree? Or, are we on a decline? You can listen live or down the podcast here.
• Do you have a caregiving conundrum that’s left you feeling overwhelmed and out of options? Ask our community of family caregivers for help. Submit your problem here.
• Welcome to our newest members! Be sure to send them a note welcoming them to our site:
• Kim, who cares for her mother;
• Linda, who cares for her husband and 7-year-old grandson;
• Aurora, who cares for a grandparent;
• Jag, who cares for his partner;
• Trish, who cares for her father, works full-time and attends school part-time;
• Tricia, who cares for her spouse and child;
• NJ, who cares for her mother and her husband;
• Helene, who cares for her spouse;
• Carol, who cares for her mother.

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Image via Wikipedia

Some days, you may want to scream to the world (or perhaps to just a few inhabitants of your world):

“See!! Do you SEE!! what my life has become? Do you see?”

Because all you can see are doors that close, people who leave and luck that brings bad. You’re drowning in your life.

What if you could look beyond the sea of despair to the ocean of opportunities? What if you could see beyond what’s not working and into all that’s possible?

What if you could see how you’ve changed, who you’ve become, how your life now connects your experiences with your purpose? What if you could see that you were once stuck in a sea of salt and you now can float in the blessings of an ocean?

Do you see what your life has become? It’s become a life worth living because of all that you have left to do. Swim to the ocean.

Updates

• Congrats to Jane, who our the grand prize (four coaching sessions with me) in our We Break for Summer! contest.
• We’re taking submissions for our Caregiving Art Show and our Help book! Be sure to share your art (and you childrens’ and your caree’s) by September 5 for a chance to win $100. And, send your your story today! Need an extension on the deadline? Just send me an email.

Resources

• Do you love our comforts? Then, you’ll love Take Comfort, Too, More Reflections of Hope for Caregivers. In Take Comfort, Too, Denise M. Brown takes 108 words—including Parade, Green, Red and Glory—and then turns each into a reflection. The reflections focus on a family caregiver’s reality, sprinkled with hope. Denise’s insights about the caregiving experience feel like a warm hug, a helpful smile and an encouraging nudge. Order here

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I thought you might all enjoy the meditation; you’ll find the recording, below. The meditation is the third recording. You can listen here or download to your mp3 player to listen at your convenience.

I also recorded two more Weekly Comforts for you (Next Time and Center), which means you now have 43 comforts to enjoy.

Hope these help!