Currently Browsing: Weekly Comforts
We can be so generous in the chances we give to others. We are quick to help a friend feel better who at times can’t be as supportive as we’d like, to extend a good wish to someone who took a bad day out on us, to accept a hug from someone who may have hurt us.
The ability to accept another’s imperfections speaks so well of us. We can give another another chance.
Why, then, do we hesitate to be as...
I like words that have several meanings. Center, for instance, carries two meanings.
You can center so that you connect within yourself to act and think in a way that honors who you are.
Or:
You can be in the center of a storm.
In caregiving, you may feel like you are in the middle of many storms. A health care storm. A family storm. An internal storm. All these storms can knock you off your center.
Find your...
Recently, I got a hairbrush tangled in my hair. It was tangled so bad that I thought, Uh, oh, I think I have to cut my hair to untangle this hairbrush. (I used conditioner to dislodge it a bit and then just tugged. I did lose some hair, but I’m no longer wearing a hairbrush.)
I got tangled because I used a brush too small for my hair. In life, we get tangled because we have thoughts too small for our good. We...
You may have people in your life who do and say in such a way that you think, Where do they get the nerve?
Then, you have situations and circumstances that seem to demand so much from you that you wonder, Where will I get the nerve?
It may seem that others have all the nerve while you seem to need more. Know you have nerve. You have it because it’s already gotten you this far.
You have the nerve that’s...
Caregiving can cost a fortune. It can seem to take your money, your patience, your career, your future.
And, as the costs add up, you can’t help but think: This is such an unfortunate situation.
When there’s so much that seems unfortunate, does it also forfeit your fortune?
Your fortune lies in time well spent, relationships worthy of your investment, and common sense that helps keep your perspective....
It may seem that life has become ticks.
It’s the tick of the clock.
The ticks off your to-do list.
The ticks mark your time and the spending of that time.
Those ticks can sometimes become your nervous ticks, as you worry and fret about what to do and how much time you have to do it.
Let the clock tick. Keep ticking off items on your to-do list.
Calm your nervous ticks by knowing that time moves on...
It’s always tough to take a tumble.
Sometimes, though, a fall is just what we need.
Or, rather, what happens after the fall is just what we need. We get up. We wipe off our butts. We tell everyone that we are okay.
We survive the fall.
We fear the fall, believing the wipe-out will wipe us out. So, we tread lightly through life; we avoid taking a chance, stepping out on a limb, breaking out of our comfort...
Sometimes, it’s just hard to find the word to describe what a struggle or disappointment or upset feels like.
During those times, I use the word “blah.” And, sometimes, when it’s a really difficult struggle, disappointment or upset, I’ll add an exclamation point. “Blah!”
And, then, I’ll sigh.
When it’s tough, it’s hard not to think: How much longer? When...
Ohhh… You’ll have days when you just want to quit. Just write your resignation letter and leave it on the kitchen table. Or, maybe, you’d like to just walk past the kitchen table, out the back door, through the back yard and head straight to the airport.
But, that’s just a dream. Because of all the things you can’t do is quit.
Because, really, quitting is about giving up on...
In caregiving, you may feel that you regularly wear a game face. You may put on a game face when you and your caree hear difficult news during a doctor’s appointment. You may wear a game face on those bad days when the requests for your help just won’t stop. And, your game face comes out during the unpleasant moments during personal care.
Your game face helps you cope with upsetting moments, unpleasant...
It’s all tiring, isn’t it? The day in, day out. The worry. The energy to quiet the inner panic. The fights to get what’s needed, when it’s needed.
You probably feel like a flat tire, lumping along the road.
Rather than continuing the lump it, visit a rest stop to get air.
At the rest stop, take a break from feeling like you have to get it all done, including the cooking and cleaning. Take...
We think of dictionaries as large books which never change. In truth, dictionaries change as our language and our culture change, adding and removing words, changing and revising definitions.
You have a dictionary for caregiving, one which helps you define your role, others’ roles, your limits, your budget, your care plans, your care schedule.
And, your definitions in your dictionary will change as...
Sometimes, we wish we could fly so we could fly away from a tough day, a tough time, a tough moment. But, we’re grounded with responsibilities. Caregiving and all its requirements lock you to land.
What to do when you can’t fly and you can’t stand to stay in the same spot for another moment?
Let it fly: A dream for yourself.
Let fly a dream—just toss it out there and see what happens. What...
Does every day seem like a challenge? Full of overwhelming obstacles? Moments of dread?
What if every day wasn’t about wishing how quickly it would end but about how long it could last? What if every day was a special day, like a holiday or a birthday?
What if we just declared to ourselves that every day, really, is a special day? Wouldn’t that put a different spin on our days?
When you declare each day...
During the holidays, we can have blue days. The holidays end, which may cause us blue days for another reason. We hear sad news from friends (like Sharon) and then we really feel blue.
It’s okay to feel blue. It’s okay to tell family members and friends, “I’m feeling blue today.”
When feeling blue, wrap yourself in your familiar. Watch a movie in which you’ve memorized the...
This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, I read excerpts from my new book, “Take Comfort, Too, More Reflections of Hope for Caregivers.” You can listen to the show via the player below.
Take Comfort, Too offers perspectives which can you help find comfort, even during the really tough days of caregiving.
So, I’d love to know: What gives you comfort? Tell us about the sources of your comfort in our...
Posted by
Denise on Dec 27th, 2010 in
Weekly Comforts |
1 comment
Image by Getty Images via @daylife
In the fairy tales and Disney movies, our heroine attends fancy balls. On New Year’s Eve, a ball drops in Times Square to start the New Year.
For you, balls are what you juggle. Sometimes, you juggle three balls. Sometimes, it’s just one heavy, heavy ball. Sometimes, it feels like 10 balls look to you for a catch.
With so many demanding balls in your life, can...
Image by Alice Harold via Flickr
This is the season of counting: We count how many gifts we give so equal distribution is assured. We count how much money we have to spend on gifts. We count the days until the Big Day.
Sometimes, during the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we can feel under-counted. We may wonder: Do I count?
It can be hard to see that you count when others get caught up in their counting,...
Posted by
Denise on Dec 14th, 2010 in
Weekly Comforts |
0 comments
Do the holidays remind you of what you’ve lost? And, when you have those reminders, do you feel lost?
It’s easy to lose your way in caregiving, especially during the holidays. The worry, the stress, the sadness will surround you, so much so you can’t see past them.
How do you find your way?
Take a step and reach out to your support. Take another step and ask for directions (help). Take another...
Posted by
Denise on Dec 6th, 2010 in
Weekly Comforts |
4 comments
Although you may try not to, some days you may think: What kind of life is this?
It’s not the kind of life you envisioned for your caree, for yourself, for others in your life affected by caregiving. And, that kind of life can steal your kindness, replacing it with resentment and bitterness.
Know this.
You have a kind of life that builds on your values and your priorities. You have the kind of life that...
Posted by
Denise on Nov 29th, 2010 in
Weekly Comforts |
0 comments
Sometimes, it’s the word you dread to hear. When a relationship ends, you may hear, “It’s over.” When a wonderful experience ends, you think, “It’s over.” You may clench your teeth when you’re told to “get over it.” And, sometimes, you feel that the life you want is over there, rather than right here.
When you lengthen the word, you see its power. You...
Posted by
Denise on Nov 15th, 2010 in
Weekly Comforts |
1 comment
In a caregiving role, change means something kinda awful. Your caree has a change in condition, which impacts both of you in really sad and difficult ways. Your family changes because of the caregiving experience, which leaves you feeling lonely and alone. You change because of caregiving, perhaps becoming someone you no longer recognize (and, sometimes, like).
So it’s understandable that you may view...
