We are perfectly imperfect, which means we have limits. We run out of patience. We lose our tolerance for certain tasks or people. We get tired. And, we have days when our disposition can only be described as crabby.

Understanding our limits can be make our days so much easier. For instance, if you recognize that you and your caree have four good hours together before you both drive each other nuts, then you can make sure you both take a break from each other before you reach that bewitching hour. Or, perhaps, you realize that you can tolerate helping your caree with personal care twice a week—and the remaining days are best handled by a home health aide.

During the presentation, I suggested being aware of your limits in five different categories: Time, Space, Strength, Stomach and Disease Process. (The presentation is archived as a webinar; you can listen to it here.) I also suggested that the attendees journal as a way to make sense of their days and to vent about their difficult moments and bad days.

During the presentation, I asked for a show of hands of those who currently journal. Only one raised her hand. I mentioned that I once helped a client begin journaling by assigning her words to write about. What words, they asked? What words do you suggest?

So, I threw out some words to help them get started with journaling. Later, I realized I had five great words that could start the journaling process: Time, Space, Strength, Stomach and Disease Process. Would you like to begin a journal but just not sure how to start? Start with these words.

And, consider joining our Three-Word Journaling class. We meet over the phone for three weeks for an hour. The cost of the class is $37 (plus the cost of the long-distance phone call). Choose from two different times: Tuesdays (11/15, 11/22 and 11/29) at 8 p.m. ET and Wednesdays (11/16, 11/23 and 11/30) at 10:30 a.m. ET.

During the class, we talk about your days, your struggles, your triumphs, your worries. At the end of the class, I assign three words for you to write about until our next class. It’s a great way to gain insights and find meaning during a time that can seem so confusing and senseless.

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(Editor’s Note: On Wednesdays, we share a journaling tip as part of our series, Journaling 101. This is tip No. 23.)

You spend most of your day being self-less. It may seem out of character to feel selfish.  But, for your own well-being, it’s critical to be selfish during the day, even if for five minutes.

This week, write down your ideas on how to spend time on you and how you’ll protect that time every day. Consider this: You have set aside 20 minutes every day just for you. How will you use that time? And, how you will your protect that time?

Brainstorm all your ideas and possibilities. Once you’ve determined how to make the most of that 20 minutes, then think: How can I turn that 20 minutes into 30?

It’s your time. Enjoy it!! You deserve it.

(To learn more about self-care, listen to our recent talk show, “The Why’s of Self-Care” via the player below.)

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Caregiving has brought so many changes in your life that you may find yourself holding onto parts of your old life–old relationships, old habits, old expectations. At one time, it probably was comforting to hold onto to these parts of your old life. But, at some point, what you hold on to that’s old becomes chains that keep you from moving forward into healthier relationships, habits and expectations.

This week, consider: What are you hanging on to? How healthy is this? And, what will you gain (time, self-respect, opportunities) by letting go?

Letting go can be hard. It also can be cathartic.

Let go.

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If you could take just a carload of your possessions, what you would take?

Consider this question this week, jotting down your thoughts in your journal. Your answers will give insight into your priorities, perhaps overlooked priorities. As you gain insight into your priorities, you’ll also gain knowledge of the relationships, interests and hobbies that are deserving of your time.

When you spend your time on your priorities, you create a more plentiful and meaningful life.

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It’s often said that the first step toward creating the life you want is visualizing the life you want.

This week, visualize, then write, the life you want. Ignore any pangs of guilt about the life you want, simply sit back, relax and picture yourself living the life you want. Re-visit this picture regularly.

Then, write what you see: Where you live, how you live, with whom you live, where you work (or don’t work), how you look, how you act, and how you manage your caregiving role.

You’ve taken your first step.

(Feel free to get a head start here; write about the life you want in our comments section.)

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Your journal is yours; it reflects your darkest fears, your deepest feelings, your delicious diversions. Even better, your journal always keeps a secret.

This week, just write; write how you feel (the truth!), how you manage, how you worry, how you wish for “better” (for you, for your care recipient). Commit to writing five minutes every day this week. And, then just pick up the pen and have at it.

(Editor’s Note: On Wednesdays, we share a journaling tip as part of our series, Journaling 101. This is tip No. 19.)

It’s hard not to see everything with a negative perspective because so many negative things have happened. Surrounded by so much negativity, it can seem that you’re just doing everything wrong.

You’re not.

You’re doing your best, which means you’re doing everything right.

This week, to keep your perspective, ask yourself the tough questions, the “What if” questions, the “What’s the worst that can happen” questions. Then, create solutions for those questions. You’ll often discover that you have the answers and the ability to manage whatever comes your way.

Knowing that will help you keep a healthy perspective.

(Editor’s Note: On Wednesdays, we share a journaling tip as part of our series, Journaling 101. This is tip No. 18.)

In a caregiving situation, it’s hard not to think about all that you’ve lost, particularly because the losses are so much in your face (you’ve “lost” time, relationships, money and your care recipient seems to have lost everything).

This week, give some thought to what you’ve gained. How have you changed for the better because of your caregiving role? What insights and wisdom have you gained? What are your unexpected blessings?

Once you’ve determine what you’ve gained, take the next step: How will you build upon your new foundation?

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(Editor’s Note: On Wednesdays, we share a journaling tip as part of our series, Journaling 101. This is tip No. 17.)

A friend walks in when the whole world walks out. ~  Walter Winchell

In times of need, there’s nothing like a good, supportive friend to help you through the struggles. But, the difficult times are often the times you discover the friends you thought you could count on, aren’t.

This week, consider the qualities of the friends you want: Compassion, loyal, honest, empathetic, non-judgmental. Listing these qualities you treasure in a good friend helps you attract that very kind of friend.

Then, give thought to the kind of friend you are. It’s just as important to be the kind of friend you hope to have.

Writing in your journal about the friends you want (and the friend you want to be) will help bring that very friend to you. When that friend arrives, give thanks. And, know that attracting a caring and good friend means that you are a caring and good friend yourself.

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The wisdom gained from caregiving is wisdom that can be applied to all aspects of your life.

Consider the Wisdom of Caregiving:

1. That your gut is always right.
2. That life is short, so you must make the most of each moment.
3. That possessions and material things take you only so far in life; your heart and soul take you to your dreams.
4. That a smile and a hug are always worth a million bucks.

This week, brainstorm the wisdom you’ve gained from your caregiving role. You’ll be amazed at the power you have in your Caregiving Wisdom to live a blessed life.