Forum Replies Created

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 357 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #81776 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Oh, MG, what resolve you have. What a heartbreaking day.

    I’m so glad you could cry when you got home. I think of caregiving as a heartbreak like no other. It has moments of unbearableness (not sure if that’s really a word but that’s how it can feel).

    Thank you so much for letting us know. I hope sleep brings a reprieve.

    Rate This
  • #81448 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    I’m so glad you posted your introduction @flicka. Please let us know how we can support you. It’s scary to get out there again and look for a job so I think it’s awesome you’re doing it. And, I know you can find a job that you will like and be successful at.

    Rate This
  • #81342 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Well… I checked the program’s website and I don’t see any mention that it’s a series. I think it’s one and done. :(

    I taped the show but didn’t get a chance to watch. (It aired in Chicago at 10 p.m., not even during prime time.)

    My morning just opened up so I think I’ll watch now.

    Rate This
  • #81281 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Thank you so much for this review @erica! I’m so glad to know about this app.

    And, it’s great to see you. :)

    Rate This
  • #81204 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Hi Elizabeth–Do you or a sibling hold durable POA for your mom? The durable POA for health care and finances will help protect your mom.

    Do you help your mom manage her money? It may help to be more involved when she pays her bills.

    I think it would be helpful to understand what “temporary” is and what the plan is for him to leave when his time is up. You also could ask what she likes about having him in the house so you better understand the relationship.

    Stay involved with regular visits from all of you. Get to know him as well so you also better understand the kind of person he is.

    Rate This
  • #81054 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Congrats to @thedogmama who won with her score of 579!!

    Rate This
  • #81026 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    I think the struggle is letting ourselves off the hook for what we can’t control. You’re doing a great job getting help and managing the budget. It would be wonderful if your mom could support this. It sounds like it’s just too much for her right now. As much as you can, try to let go of worrying about her reaction. How she reacts is about how she’s feeling–her fears, her insecurities. It feels like a criticism or judgment or even a manipulation. But, really, it’s the way she expresses, “I’m so worried this won’t work out! I”m so worried about someone else being her with me! I’m so worried you won’t love me.”

    I wonder if it would help to use the same responses with her, like:

    “I love having you here. Part of my responsibility is ensuring you continue to receive the best care possible. Having others be a part of our care team ensures you get the care you deserve.”

    “I know these are tough adjustments. I’m grateful to have your support. It’s one of the reasons I love having you here.”

    “I’m grateful we’re working together as a team, Mom, to make sure you have the best care possible. I hear your concerns. Let’s move forward with more help and see how it goes. We can only know what will work when we give it a try.”

    (While this may not be entirely true, sometimes it helps to be redirect the behavior to what you want–support, working together as a team.)

    I would take the argument out of the discussions and focus on validating how she’s feeling. It’s okay to move forward with getting more help and doing so without her stamp of approval. She’s just not in the frame of mind right now to do that.

    It’s critical, though, that you have what you need–more help.

    Rate This
  • #81025 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Hi Destiny–I’m so glad you’ve joined us. We totally get how awful it can be without support. Know you have a community of support behind you.

    You may want to connect with @mlun94, who cares for her grandparents. We also have a chat for young adults in a caregiving role on the third Sunday of every month at 10 p.m. ET (9 p.m. CT, 7 p.m. PT).

    We also have daily chats at 2 p.m. ET (1 p.m. CT, 11 a.m PT) and at 9 p.m. ET (8 p.m. CT, 6 p.m. PT).

    Please feel free to join our chats any time you can.

    And, think about blogging–it can be truly cathartic to write out what the day is liked for you.

    Rate This
  • #80972 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Hi Jen–Could you tell us what you would like to change about how your mom’s finances are currently being handled? What do you see not working that you would like to change?

    Rate This
  • #80971 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    OH, Pegi, I’m so sorry! I so get how much you want to cry because it just seems like you can’t get to “better.”

    Please continue to keep us posted as you can.

    Rate This
  • #80941 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    My parents and I attended my nephews’ track meet today. My mom is on the bottom right, then my brother-in-law, sister and dad. In the foreground, my nephew, Jack, is lining up for the start of the race.

    Times for the 3200 meter (2 miles):
    Matthew: 10:05 (he was very disappointed–this was a slow time for him)
    Jack: 9:25 (he was thrilled)

    Lots of fun!!

    Rate This
    Attachments:
    1. Track_4.1.15

      Track_4.1.15.jpg

  • #80928 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    My dad had some problems after returning home from the hospital that only prunes could solve. Once he solved the problem, he had another problem of too many prunes. So, this morning, he baked a prune coffeecake. Here, he’s at the kitchen table cutting the prunes.

    (The coffeecake is delicious!)

    Rate This
    Attachments:
    1. Dad_5.1.15

      Dad_5.1.15.jpg

  • #80921 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    I also think it’s a good idea to create a contract or agreement if siblings or other family members are involved.

    Family Caregiver Alliance has suggestions on how to create such a document: https://caregiver.org/personal-care-agreements

    We’ve also got an article with tips to keep in mind: http://www.caregiving.com/2009/01/youre-getting-paid-great-now-get-it-right/

    Rate This
  • #81539 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Hi Val–I love your profile photo. :) We so understand. It can feel like a constant battle to keep going. I hope our support will help.

    Rate This
  • #81442 Reply
    Profile photo of Denise
    Denise
    Keymaster

    Hi @scmccann — I’m so glad you introduced yourself. We have daily chats and regular chats so I hope you’ll be able to join us. We understand the loneliness.

    Rate This
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 357 total)