Comments on: Blow-Up http://www.caregiving.com Insights ~ Information ~ Inspirations Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:10:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Sandi http://www.caregiving.com/quizes/blow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-40131 Sandi Thu, 03 Jun 2010 19:18:23 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?page_id=190#comment-40131 Yes, this helps. We actually have a doctor appt next week and I plan to bring this up then. I'll try the "leaving" idea but then I wonder why I'm being punished and have to leave when I didn't do anything. It's hard. Thanks. Yes, this helps. We actually have a doctor appt next week and I plan to bring this up then. I’ll try the “leaving” idea but then I wonder why I’m being punished and have to leave when I didn’t do anything. It’s hard.

Thanks.

]]> By: Denise http://www.caregiving.com/quizes/blow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-40124 Denise Thu, 03 Jun 2010 18:32:52 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?page_id=190#comment-40124 Hi Sandi--Ugh, what an exhausting situation for both of you. My suggestions would be to follow up with his physician/oncologist about his behavior. Ask for suggested treatments and referrals to therapists/counseling services which can help. It doesn't seem that his anxiety medication is solving the problem and additional intervention is needed. I also would suggest having an honest discussion with your husband: Tell him you understand the past three years have been a very scary time for both of you. You are here to support him. However, when he becomes verbally abusive, you are leaving the room (or house, etc.). Beginning today, you will no longer tolerate abusive behavior. Then, if he becomes verbally abusive, do just that--leave. You also can discuss your concerns about his change in behavior. Ask him: Who can help him develop coping skills so he's better able to manage? Share any information/referrals you've received from his physician. Tell him his emotional health is as important to you as his physical health and that is emotional health is critical to the emotional health of your marriage. If you are concerned about a discussion with him one-on-one, then have a discussion during an appointment with his physician. Does this help? Best, Denise Hi Sandi–Ugh, what an exhausting situation for both of you. My suggestions would be to follow up with his physician/oncologist about his behavior. Ask for suggested treatments and referrals to therapists/counseling services which can help. It doesn’t seem that his anxiety medication is solving the problem and additional intervention is needed.

I also would suggest having an honest discussion with your husband: Tell him you understand the past three years have been a very scary time for both of you. You are here to support him. However, when he becomes verbally abusive, you are leaving the room (or house, etc.). Beginning today, you will no longer tolerate abusive behavior. Then, if he becomes verbally abusive, do just that–leave.

You also can discuss your concerns about his change in behavior. Ask him: Who can help him develop coping skills so he’s better able to manage? Share any information/referrals you’ve received from his physician. Tell him his emotional health is as important to you as his physical health and that is emotional health is critical to the emotional health of your marriage.

If you are concerned about a discussion with him one-on-one, then have a discussion during an appointment with his physician.

Does this help?

Best, Denise

]]> By: Sandi http://www.caregiving.com/quizes/blow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-40120 Sandi Thu, 03 Jun 2010 18:11:08 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?page_id=190#comment-40120 He was diagnosed with tongue cancer 3 yrs ago, had radical surgery, radiation, chemo. He's only 51, lost 70 lbs from the stomach tube, hates everything now even though his prognosis is good. I finally convinced him to ask his doctor for something for anxiety 3 months ago but he still blows everything out of proportion - worrying, yelling, crying, etc. He may have beaten the cancer but I'm afraid he'll have a stroke and the stress of constantly being verbally assaulted is wearing. He was diagnosed with tongue cancer 3 yrs ago, had radical surgery, radiation, chemo. He’s only 51, lost 70 lbs from the stomach tube, hates everything now even though his prognosis is good. I finally convinced him to ask his doctor for something for anxiety 3 months ago but he still blows everything out of proportion – worrying, yelling, crying, etc. He may have beaten the cancer but I’m afraid he’ll have a stroke and the stress of constantly being verbally assaulted is wearing.

]]> By: Denise http://www.caregiving.com/quizes/blow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-40102 Denise Thu, 03 Jun 2010 16:26:47 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?page_id=190#comment-40102 Hi Sandi--Can you tell us a little more about your spouse? Diagnosis and treatment? Hi Sandi–Can you tell us a little more about your spouse? Diagnosis and treatment?

]]> By: Sandi http://www.caregiving.com/quizes/blow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-40099 Sandi Thu, 03 Jun 2010 16:16:40 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?page_id=190#comment-40099 What if your sick spouse is the one blowing up at you? All the time, about every little thing? I'm at my wits end. Any referrals for this problem? What if your sick spouse is the one blowing up at you? All the time, about every little thing? I’m at my wits end. Any referrals for this problem?

]]> By: Kendra Ruffino http://www.caregiving.com/quizes/blow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-36703 Kendra Ruffino Wed, 12 May 2010 01:13:54 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?page_id=190#comment-36703 Thanks you for the referral, I'll check it out... lord knows I can identify with Sher... Thanks you for the referral, I’ll check it out… lord knows I can identify with Sher…

]]> By: Denise http://www.caregiving.com/quizes/blow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-14987 Denise Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:28:19 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?page_id=190#comment-14987 Hi Sher-- Would you like to join our online support groups? The members understand... Here's more information: <a href="http://www.caregiving.com/get-support/" rel="nofollow">http://www.caregiving.com/get-support/</a>. Hi Sher– Would you like to join our online support groups? The members understand… Here’s more information: http://www.caregiving.com/get-support/.

]]> By: Sher http://www.caregiving.com/quizes/blow-up/comment-page-1/#comment-14874 Sher Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:15:32 +0000 http://www.caregiving.com/?page_id=190#comment-14874 What support system? What support system?

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