The experts will tell you not to spend your own money to pay for your care recipient’s care. Very good advice and good to remember, but sometimes, it’s not realistic. What if you are limited in options in terms of good facilities in your community? What if you are on a waiting list for programs that will pay for care, so in the meantime, you have to pay? What if you’ve exhausted options in your community and home is the best place for your care recipient, who has limited resources and tapped-out options?
How do you save your own money for yourself under those circumstances?
Some suggestions that may help your protect your future:
Transferring The Home To You
If you live in your care recipient’s home and your care enabled your care recipient to remain at home, your care recipient can transfer his or her home to you. You must have resided in the home and provided care for at least two years prior to nursing home admission. A care recipient also can transfer a home to a sibling with equity interest in the home and who resided in the home for at least one year. Medicaid permits such a transfer, so your care recipient can qualify for Medicaid and you can receive the home. Consult an elderlaw attorney before making such a transfer.
Credit Counseling
Have Visa and MasterCard financed the caregiving? Do they want payback now? If the bills are mounting but the resources to pay them are dwindling, call for help ASAP. For more information on credit counseling, visit http://www.debtadvice.org/
Your Employer
Your employer may have an Employee Assistance Program or Work/Life benefit; check with your Human Resources department. An EAP offers counseling to help you manage the emotional toll of caregiving. A work/life benefit provides resources and information to the most appropriate help.
In addition, if you are currently employed but finding it difficult to keep you job, consider using the Family Medical Leave Act (http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/). You can take unpaid time off without losing your job. The act allows up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave every 12 months.
Piece Together Solutions
Compromise is part of caregiving; it’s very difficult to find perfect solutions. Perhaps your care recipient attends an adult day center a few days a week so you can work a part-time job. Maybe you hire a home care worker to transport your care recipient to physician appointments so you can save your vacation time for the more critical moments. Be creative, think outside the box, try options. It’s okay if your option doesn’t work. Try again.
A geriatric care manager can be a great resource in helping you put together your care plan. You’ll have to pay for the help, but it could be a wise investment by saving you time and money in the long run.
Finally, remember:
Forgive Yourself
It is awful, awful, awful to work so hard and still not have the needed money. Forgive yourself. You are doing your very best.
Keep Moving Forward
Take small steps toward resolving your situation, such as calling one agency a day for help. On the days when you feel overwhelmed, take a break. Talk about your worries and problems to your support group, a good friend, a therapist. I heard Marie Osmond recently say, “I’d rather climb a mountain than crawl into a hole.” Look up as you move forward.
Take Care Of You
The blues happen. But if the blues become so prevalent that you withdraw from family and friends or you have difficulty functioning during the day, then seek help. A financial crisis can lead to other crises so be sure to get help.
Don’t Give Up On Yourself
You are so important and have so many wonderful gifts and talents to share with the world. Believe your time will come. It will.
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