Karen and her husband thought they had the answer: Her father was living alone. They worried about him. They found it difficult to be at his house to help him and be at their home to provide for their two children. So, her father moved in with them.
A year later, Karen finally feels the family is adjusting to the living arrangement. “It was so much harder than I ever thought it would be,” Karen says. Karen had a difficult time understanding how to help her father, who sat day after day in front of the television. Her suggestions to join the local senior center or a men’s club were met with a “No, thanks”. Much to her surprise, Karen often found herself feeling frustrated, helpless, and even resentful.
Moving your aging relative to your home does make caregiving more convenient. But, it also significantly changes the make-up of your household. Questions to keep in mind as you consider such a move:
1. Does you house have room for everyone? Will a family member be “uprooted” from a bedroom in order to make room for your aging relative?
2. Will each family member have some privacy, either their own room or their own space within a room? If everyone has their own space, everyone can get a break. And, on a regular basis, everyone will need a break from each other.
3. Is your house conducive to a possible increase in your aging relative’s care needs? With increasing care needs comes the need for handicap accessible rooms. Is your home disability friendly?
4. Do you and other family members, especially your spouse, enjoy the relationship with your aging relative? Living under one roof intensifies the relationship. If you don’t get along when you don’t live together, chances are you really won’t get along when do you live together. If that’s the case, is it best to house the relationship under one roof?
5. How will your aging relative receive the socialization that she needs?
In order to make the decision that right’s for your family, research all options in your community: retirement communities, assisted living facilities, home health care, adult day centers. (To learn about options, call the ElderCare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or visit www.benefitscheckup.org.) You may find that your aging relative can remain in her home with home care and by attending an adult day center. Or, you may find that an assisted living facility offers the help and activities she needs and enjoys. Or, you may find that your home is just the right place.
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Tips To Consider as You Decide One Household for All?
Your Thoughts: Does One Household for All Work for You?
