Tell Us: How Do Keep Your Caree Occupied?

Yesterday, during Table Talk on Your Caregiving Journey, Kristin spoke about her inability to do what she enjoys. She has books to read, words to write, websites to visit… And, yet she can’t. The stress of worrying about Mary and whether Mary is safe becomes her day’s only action. It’s all she can do—think about making sure Mary is okay. The dread of what could happen (Mary wanders...

Tell Us: Which Lesson from 2011 Will You Bring Into 2012?

Over the weekend, I did a mini review of 2011. I wondered: What did I learn that will help make 2012 different? My biggest takeaway from 2011? Worrying wastes my time. (I still worry but I’m trying to remember that it really wastes my time.) The worrying just adds more stress when I’m already stressed. Rather than worry, I’m much better off when I take action or ask for help or accept a reality....

Tell Us: How Do You Start Your Day?

Yesterday, on Your Caregiving Journey, Elizabeth Lombardo, our happiness expert, joined me for a discussion on how to start your day. You can listen to our who via the player below. (You can view Elizabeth on the Today Show by visiting her website.) The inspiration for our show was a recent article in The Wall Street Journal that talked about the importance of setting the right mood for your day in the morning....

Tell Us: What’s the Smartest Thing You’ve Done?

Often, when I look back on my life, I think about the dumb things I’ve done. Ugh, I’ll think, that was so dumb! Once in awhile, my memory will give me a break and dwell on those actions or decisions which were quite smart. Thinking of those smart moments in my life gives me hope that my future will include more smart decisions. So, I’d love to know: What’s the smartest thing you’ve...

Tell Us: When Do You Fib?

I love this comment left by Karen yesterday in response to our request for bathing tips: Way back then, the only thing that would get her in the tub was if I told her she had a doctor appt the next day. That usually did it after coaxing for an hour… Needless to say… I told her that every other day! Those little fibs we have to tell… That’s a very hard thing in itself to deal with initially… You don’t...

Tell Us: What Part of You Got Lost?

In last week’s poll, What’s Caregiving’s Worst Side Effect?, your top answer was, “I feel like I lost myself.” I’d love for you to tell us more. For instance, do you feel like you look in the mirror and wonder what happened? Do you feel like you’ve lost your ability to enjoy what you used to? Or, do you look around and think: How did I get to where I don’t...

How Do You Manage Caregiving and Your Career?

The New York Times published an article this afternoon with tips on how to manage work while you’re caregiving. (You can read the article here.) The tips mentioned in the article include: using the Family and Medical Leave Act in order to create plans, manage emergencies, transition your caree into another care setting; checking with your HR Department to learn about resources available to you which can...

Tell Us: When Does Caregiving Steal Your Spirit?

Over the weekend, one of our Facebook fans shared what’s on her heart: “Does anyone feel like there spirit has been broken being a caregiver?,” she wrote. “I am doing what I need to do but I feel like my spirit is broken.” Caregiving can get the best of you in a day, when a phone call brings more bad news or a dementia behavior demands one more ounce of patience than you have. But,...

Tell Us: What Do You Take Too Seriously?

Heather begins her day the same way: Up at 5:30 a.m., shower, four bites of a granola bar, hair in a headband. Then, she dons the gloves, carefully and steadfastly placing each finger into the latex glove. She’s ready for the part of the day she dreads. She wakes her mom and begins the morning care. Her mom has intensive and extensive care needs, so morning care can take as long as 60 minutes. She guides...

Tell Us: Can You Get Your Life Back?

Last week, our local PBS station aired an interview with Jane Gross, author a of new book detailing her experience caring for her mom called A Bittersweet Season: Caring for Our Aging Parents – and Ourselves. Jane worked at The New York Times for 28 years and began its wonderful blog called The New Old Age. The interviewer, Phil Ponce, asked Jane an interesting question during the interview. During caregiving, he...

Tell Us: Do You Like Celebrity Caregiving Stories?

Last night, we had quite a storm here in Chicago. I missed all the excitement because I was in an auditorium being bored by a panel discussing the importance of talking with aging relatives about their wishes. As I wiggled in my chair, checked my BlackBerry, fiddled with my reading glasses, I wondered: Why is this discussion so boring? It could have been so compelling because talking about aging relatives about...

In Six Words: What Was a Road Trip Like?

In celebration of Father’s Day (and because I recently took a road trip), let’s talk about the road trips you took as a kid with your dad at the wheel. And, to make it really fun, let’s talk about your road trips in six words. (A special shout-out to SMITH magazine for inspiring our six-word stories.) As a kid, my parents would pack my four siblings and I in our brown station wagon and hit the...

Tell Us: What’s It Like for You With Family?

Caringlizi, one of our members, wrote yesterday: Dealing with my husband’s progressing brain tumor is bad enough, but I just don’t know what to do with his family.  I feel so invisible at times, bullied at others.  Not sure if I want to hide in the closet or yell. Can anybody relate? Sometimes, managing the family (yours, your caree’s) can seem like managing a regiment of complicated...

Tell Us: What Ties Your Hands?

It could be a decision your caree has made about help—that there will be no help from “strangers.” Or, it could be your caree’s decision about treatments (too much or not little). Or, it could be a family member’s decision about what you can or can’t do. Or, it could be simply a caree’s preference about a schedule or a food or a way that feels more like a inflexible...

Tell Us: What Do You Want?

Last night, I attended a workshop led by Dr. Ann Clancy. During her presentation, Ann shared her definition of worry. Worry, she said, is the habit of focusing on what you don’t want. And, then, the light went on for me. Of course, we worry because we think that what we don’t want to happen will do just that—happen. We spend so much time thinking about what we don’t want that we forget to...

Tell Us: What’s Your Never Wish?

I’m so enjoying reading our new members’ profiles. In the profiles, members share their three top concerns as well as their three top wishes. (You can view the profiles of new members by scrolling down and looking to your right under “Members.” Click on a member’s name to be directed to his or her personal page. Then, click on Profile to read more. If you see a member who has a similar...

Tell Us: Your First Kiss

Well, I am quite smitten this morning: The Royal Wedding was well worth the early rise. And, the first kiss (two, actually) was quite charming. So, today, in honor of the Royals, let’s reminisce. When did you enjoy your first kiss? Share your memory in the comments section, below. We’ll choose a random winner to receive an autographed copy of my book, Good Morning! Sunny Reflections to Start Your...

In Six Words, What’s a Good Day?

About two weeks ago, you shared your bad days—in six words. I thought it would be fun to describe your good day in six words. (You can read how Kathy describes a good day in three words here.) You might describe a good day this way: We laughed so hard we cried. We smiled, together and at once. We held hands, which held hope. I took time, I found peace. And, when you share, you also get a chance to win. I’ll...

In Six Words, What’s a Bad Day?

On Saturday, Kathy wrote about her day days, which can be so intense and so lonely they seem to take so much (energy, hope, comfort). Her post made me wonder: How would you describe your bad days in six words? (I’m borrowing a page from Smith Magazine, the home of six-word memoirs.) Your six-word bad day may read like this: I cried. I hid. I cried. or All seems lost; so do I. Perhaps the worst part of bad...

Tell Us: What Makes You Nervous?

My post earlier this week about nerves struck a nerve with me. And, then after our talk show on worrying with Karol Ward, I really started thinking about nerves. Sometimes, in caregiving, you may fee like you wear kid gloves, walk on egg shells, tip-toe on a tight rope. And, at times, the gloves, eggs and tight-rope come into play because of nerves. How others, such as your caree, may react makes you nervous so you...

Tell Us: Do You Have Regrets?

The New York Times (“What’s Your Biggest Regret?”) shared results of a recent survey on regrets. Researchers at Northwestern University and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (my alma mater) conducted a survey of 370 adults and asked them them to describe one memorable regret. The article lists these results: The most common regret involved romance, with nearly one in five ...

When Hiring Help, What’s Your Deal Breaker?

When you’re hiring a caregiver, what’s the deal breaker? What trait or characteristic of the caregiver means you won’t hire him or her? Perhaps your deal-breaker is that a caregiver doesn’t have experience caring for a person with Alzheimer’s and your caree has Alzheimer’s. Maybe your deal-breaker is that the caregiver doesn’t have a car and you need the caregiver to...