Solutions
To Your Caregiving Situations
Throughout Your Caregiving Years
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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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You're an Artist! (And so is your care recipient!) You know what it's like to live with overwhelming feelings--guilt, anxiety, worry, fear, all mixed together with love and compassion. And, it's even worse to live with these feelings when they have no release. To whom do you express your exasperation over your mother's difficult behavior? Certainly not to your mother, whom you also happen to love dearly. Your spouse, your best friend and your support group are willing to listen, but you feel guilty always using them as your dumping ground. You would like to put these feelings somewhere, anywhere, but in the pit of your stomach. Why not put those feelings in a journal? Or on a canvass? Or in a short story? "Oh, I couldn't do that," you might say. "I'm not creative at all!" On the contrary, we're all artists, says Joanne Starzec, M.S.Ed., and consultant to health care organizations on using the Arts as spiritual healer. Participation in art is a creative, effective and fun way to release emotions. According to Joanne, "Art is doing your beingness. It's doing what you love most. It's an expression of you, the spirit in you. Whatever your beloved specialty is--that's your art." Awaking the artist inside is particularly important for caregivers, Joanne says. "Each life is a unique art form--the caregiver's life is unique art form. Even how each caregiver approaches caregiving is very unique." Unfortunately, sometimes the caregiver can become so involved in the role of caregiver that he or she can forget his or her own uniqueness. And, the care recipient's disease or disability can cause the caregiver and care recipient to focus on the immediate--they lose sight of the bigger picture. "Caregivers may feel their uniqueness start to shrink," Joanne says. "When they begin to participate in an art form that they enjoy, they're starting to widen their picture, bring new blood into their own life form, the art form of their lives." In addition, caregivers may forget that their own care is a mandatory responsibility, Joanne continues. Through art, they can release their stresses and their tensions and improve their coping abilities. And, in doing so, they can change their own attitudes and start to consider themselves once again important. And make sure that they give that importance time. It's easy to get started in your art. Here's how Joanne suggests you get started: 1. Choose an art form--journaling, writing, drawing, painting, gardening, baking, wood-working--and then specifically write why you choose that art form. Now, review what you've written. Somewhere in your response could be, "Because I want to enjoy this", or "I want to have fun" or, "I've never tried this", Joanne says. A touching reason? "Because I want to create something beautiful." As you choose your art, keep in mind: All people are artistic in some way. Everyone has some artistic preference and that has to be honored. Joanne suggests participating in your art in the morning, a time that may be easier to keep sacred to yourself. During the day, you'll probably encounter too many distractions and at the end of they day, you may just be too tired. "And, since you're worth it, give yourself the freshest time of your day," Joanne says. 2. Be active in your practice. For instance, don't just listen to the piano, play the piano. Don't just go to the art museum, sketch a junior version of a masterpiece you see at the museum. And, your tools don't have to be exotic and expensive--crayons can yield the same pleasure as expensive oil paints. 3. Analyze, rather than criticize, your results. How does the art make you feel? 4. Keep the practice of your art simple. It should never be an added burden to your day. If you choose cooking or baking as your art, then make something special and then invite a guest over to enjoy it with you and your care recipient. Sharing your creation with a wider group than just your care recipient makes it that much more of an artform. If you choose to keep a journal, then perhaps include your feelings of frustration and what creative alternatives you can devise to alleviate those frustrations. Record what deeper meanings you find in those trying situations. "You want to see your own growth," says Joanne. "See something bigger than just the daily details. For instance, if you record your frustrations, you may want to rip the page out or burn it. It becomes a ritual release in a physical way, but it's not harmful or abusive. If you write in the journal over a period of time, you'll see that what you thought you couldn't handle, you really did." Give yourself permission to do this, Joanne stresses. "You are worth it. And, you'll find that art engages over a period of time. You'll begin to feel calm, have a centering that makes the rest of what comes up during your day easier to handle. Your art will become a point of calm reference to come back to." And, Joanne adds, "Be open to surprising possibilities, new directions, new discoveries about yourself and your gifts." Discovering the artist in your care recipient According to Joanne, your care recipient can benefit from art as much as you. Here's how to introduce art to your care recipient: 1. Offer an artistic opportunity--but never force one. 2. Keep it simple. Try to involve your care recipient in an activity he or she enjoyed or did when he or she was younger. In other words, re-introduce an activity he or she already knows and enjoys. Or, you can encourage a new kind of art that you might share together. For instance, learn to draw together or journal together. Or, play the piano while your care recipient sings. Older persons can frequently whistle or hum, Joanne says. Anyone can play a simple rhythmic instrument, such as the triangle. And, two hands formed into a clap are an instrument, as well. An activity that can be wonderful for the entire family is storytelling, Joanne says. "Storytelling can involve sharing a memory of an experience that no longer exists in the same way today. It can leave a legacy. Storytelling creates a sense of community." The community is created through the sharing and in the respectful listening. Sharing how an experience was different than it is today could lead to a discussion among participants. For instance, your father talks about his summers as a youth. After sharing his experiences, your son could share what he did during his summers--and the discussion could focus on how much times have changed. 3. Encourage routine practice, setting a time period of say, twice a week, to participate in the art. Ideally, participation will be daily, Joanne says. "Routine practice is important because it allows growth to emerge. A person can see evidence of their own artistic development." For instance, storytelling may become a routine participated in during the regular Sunday family visits. Time spent on art is time spent away from the negative thoughts, Joanne says, which can be a critical breakthrough for care recipients who seem solely focused on their disability or illness. "Working on the art can create a sacred space or time--outside the regular time," Joanne says. 4. Be sure to make comments about the art, but not criticisms. "Comment on, but please don't criticize the artistic form. Criticisms can be lethal to creative pleasure and negatively affect any future artistic expressions. Expressions of feelings or emotions, which is what the art elicits are important," Joanne stresses. "You don't criticize something that's pleasurable." 5. Feel feel to practice your own art at the same time as the care recipient does, if both of you are comfortable doing so, Joanne says. Meaning, during the ten minutes you allow each day for your artistic expression, also allow that same time for your care recipient. The benefits for care recipients can be wonderful--because the art causes the care recipient to focus on life, not the disease. "Once they're engaged in life form," Joanne says, "the focus is on that engagement, that expression. The care recipient is getting back a range of emotions that may have been depleted: satisfaction, pleasant surprise, real beauty, wonder, curiosity. The disability and disease are no longer the main targets of their thoughts. "If participation in the art is continually engaged, it can open a new avenue of gifting," Joanne says. "For instance, your care recipient might welcome a subscription to an art magazine, a new box of crayons. The art opens up a new facet of the personality, a new dimension. It causes a connection of the care recipient to a wider world." Suggestions of Art for you and your care recipient: Sculpting with modeling clay Creating collages with photos and pictures cut from magazines. Recording a life story on a tape recorder Whittling (wood or soap) Cooking Coloring Journaling Gardening Baking Writing (short stories, novels, poetry, lyrics) Painting Drawing Playing instruments (piano, guitar, anything rhythmic!) Singing Woodworking Carving Photography We'd love to show off your art! Send us your photos of your paintings, your drawings, your garden. Or, send us copies of your poetry, your song, or your newly created recipes. We'll publish your art--and your care recipient's--in our gallery, found right here at Caregiving Online! E-mail your artwork to Denise. Or, send your photos or copies to Tad Publishing Co., P.O. Box 224, Park Ridge, IL 60068. Be sure to include a brief note about yourself (age and occupation, for instance), your caregiving journey (how long you've been a caregiver) and your care recipient (age, diagnosis), as well as a phone number and/or E-mail address we can reach you at. We can't wait to celebrate your artwork! |
The
Caregiving Years: Three Issues of Caregiving: Free!
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© Tad
Publishing Co. 2000 |
