Support Center: Support Group

Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning

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Throughout Your Caregiving Years

Support Group Tips

Members of our support groups have a choice as to how they would like to participate. You may choose to receive messages from the group through a "listserv"; you'll receive each message sent by a group member. Or, you can receive a digest format; you'll receive many e-mail messages in one large message. With a listserv, members send an e-mail message to one address; the message is then distributed to all members of the group. On some days, the group may send 50 e-mail messages. On other days, members may only receive five.

Members also can choose to join a group (or groups), but not receive any e-mail messages. To participate, members simply visit the group's web page to review, and send, messages. This is a great option for members who are short on time, but enjoy the camaraderie of a support group.

You can change how you would like to receive messages from the group at any time. Simply sign in to Yahoo!, visit the "My Groups" page, select the group, and click on "Edit My Membership".

In order to ensure participation in our groups is positive for all members, we've developed the following guidelines:

1. No flaming (sending insulting or demeaning or derogatory messages about other members and/or other members' messages). On your really stressful days, you may find yourself reacting very strongly to certain messages. On those days, vent about the frustrations of your day, but choose to avoid responding to any messages that seem to really tick you off. And, if members send messages that regularly tick you off, then send a message to Denise; she'll gladly help to resolve the situation.

2. If you choose to receive e-mail messages, consider where you want to receive them. For instance, you may not want to receive so many personal messages at your work e-mail address. You can create a free e-mail account at portals such as Yahoo! and Hotmail and use that account for your support group messages.

3. Members of one group recently wondered if our online support groups are moderated or unmoderated. On a moderated list, all messages are read and approved by a moderator before being sent to the group for all members to read. Our groups are not moderated. We operate managed lists, with Denise and the moderators overseeing the list, answering questions, enforcing guidelines and assisting members with any questions about how to use the group.

4. Share the experience--and it's a great one! It's wonderful to find a group of online friends who sympathize and comfort during an unbelievably challenging experience. With that in mind, be sure everyone has an opportunity to participate by sharing the group (i.e., avoid dominating the group) and welcoming and embracing others' participation. If you haven't already done so, please read The Four Agreements.

5. Because members of the group are very busy and very short on time, we ask that the majority of discussions remain related to caregiving issues.

6. If you are sending a message to the group that is not necessarily caregiving-related, you can preface your message with this code "DRIB": Don't Read If Busy. DRIB alerts other members that your message is somewhat off-topic and helps members quickly peruse messages they can delete when checking their messages on those really busy (and particularly stressful) days.

7. If you find yourself in a discussion with just one other member of the group, please feel free to continue your discussion privately. You can do so by e-mailing the other member’s e-mail address, rather than the group’s e-mail address.

8. In respect of everyone's belief system, please refrain from posts and discussions relating to politics and religion. (Religious posts are obviously welcome in the support group for Christians in a caregiving role.)

9. Feel free to post your specific needs. Once the group understands what you need, they are often able to provide it.

10. We ask that all members refrain from forwarding any chain messages, including virus warnings (typically hoaxes) and requests to support an issue or petition to the groups.

11. If you have any questions or problems, please feel free to e-mail Denise.

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The Caregiving Years:
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2. I am starting to help.
3. I am helping.
4. I am still helping!
5. My role is changing.
6. My caregiving has ended.

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