It can feel like every day in caregiving is a hot summer day. You’re always boiling. So much can make you mad. Your silly sibling consistently drops the ball. Your exasperating caree wants to do everything the long way. Your commute takes too long and makes you too late. Your life seems to take without [...]

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Better, not to be confused with butter. Although… Could butter bring us better? I think we all feel better when someone butters us up, tells us what we often can’t see–that we can, that we do, that we will. So, here’s a large plate of butter for you: You can do this because you have [...]

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It can seem like nothing belongs to you. Not your time–that belongs to caregiving, your job, other family members. Not your choices–those also belong to caregiving, your job, other family members. Not your sleeping hours–those also seem to belong to caregiving, your job, other family members. And, not your money–that belongs to the doctors, the [...]

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During the day, you can feel like the lowest employee on the totem pole. You fill in, you cover, you pick up the slack. You can never leave early, you never can find coverage for the holidays, you have to bring your phone with you everywhere. You handle all the responsibility but never get a [...]

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When a traffic accident happens, local news stations send out the helicopters to fly circles over the crash to capture the best video. Caregiving can feel like that traffic accident. Sometimes, you feel like the helicopter flying circles around and around. You hover, fretting as you wring your hands. Sometimes, others hover–those family members waiting [...]

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When caregiving arrives, the door shuts. It feels like it’s just you, your caree and a disease all locked up in a small room. Sure, you leave once in awhile but it’s for a doctor’s appointment or a trip to the hospital. And, sure you have visitors but it’s the home health aide or the [...]

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The temperature of your day often can determine your temper. When the sun shines in your house because all goes right, you remain cool, calm and collected. When the storms break out in your house because all goes wrong, you overheat. Your temper becomes like the claps of thunder. As you unleash your lightening strikes, [...]

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When caregiving came, it left in its wake a collection of victims. Your caree is a victim to a disease process; you’re a victim to the situation. You’re both victims to the health care system. Or so it feels. Until the fighter in you wakes. Your fighter may wake because, well, you’re tired of the [...]

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At one time, math’s division seemed too tricky to master. This time, life’s division seems too difficult to understand. Caregiving can feel like crossing the Continental Divide. Your family’s divided–some stay, some go, most don’t get it. You’re divided because too many need your help, often at the same time. The health care system seems [...]

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It all feels like a bother. So, how can you possibly bother another with your problems? In caregiving, you can feel perpetually bothered. Bothered by pesky bill collectors, a forgetful caree, a demanding responsibility. You know what it’s like to be bothered. So you don’t want to bother. Except… You have too much stirring around [...]

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It can feel like your pockets have been picked. But the thief didn’t just get your cash and credit cards. Your future, your dreams, your life seems to be missing. Caregiving didn’t just pick your pocket; it took your life. You’ve lost, left with an empty pocket. Wait! You’ve gained an empty pocket. You can [...]

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You stand in your living room or your bedroom or your kitchen, look around at the equipment, the supplies and the strangers which infiltrate your home, and ask: What’s the point? What’s the point of all this–the suffering, the hardship, the disappointment, the pain. Where in the world is the point? It’s hard to find [...]

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Cher once sang, “If I could turn back time…” If you could turn back the clock, go back five years, 10 years, would you? It’s tempting, isn’t it? When you go back, though, you have to go to back to who you once were. I would imagine that, given the choice, you’d rather be who [...]

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We write off financial losses, medical expenses. What if we could simply write off life’s bad times? Cross them off the paper on our yellow legal pad entitled My List of Bad Experiences. Eliminate them with a deft and quick movement of our blue pen. With the flick of some ink, they’re gone. Over. Written [...]

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A difficult day can feel like how a song ends–the music fades to silence. The day fades away, just like it seems your caree fades away, your life fades away, you fade away. It’s all ending. When life feels like a fade, focus on your blessings. A blessing can be as simple as a TV [...]

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