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Tag Archives: dementia

Today is a Day of Discovery


(Editor’s Note: We welcome TJ to our blogging team today. You can connect with TJ on her profile page: @tjcrn.) Today I discovered, realized, that my mom of 53 years who lives with me does not remember me at all. Oh, yes, there have been glimpses of this day coming, but to spend hours reminding her who I am just to realize that her last words before going to sleep are, Are you a Catholic? ...

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Two Mothers


(Editor’s Note: We welcome Willem, who cares for his wife, to our blogging team today. You can connect with Willem on his profile page: @willemor.) Mother’s Day is today. Our relatonships with our mothers are supposed to be complicated. We depended on them, but we needed them to set us free. “How is your relationship with your mother?” keeps thousands of therapists gainfully employed. In my journey, my relationship with my mother and with the mother ...

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Who Am I?


The other day Dean, my husband, made the statement that he keeps thinking I’m his mother. He’s made this poignant statement a few times in the past couple of years and I’m always left speechless. I don’t know how to respond to his revelation, because of the emotions it brings to me. He expresses it as an eerie confessional, and I should respond with something supportive or even sweet and romantic, such as “That’s alright, ...

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Friday Video Chat: Love, Illness and Caregiving


Join us on Friday, May 1, at 3 p.m. ET (2 p.m. CT, Noon PT) for a video chat on the impact of an illness on a marriage. @g-j, who cares for her husband, and @tneumann, a dementia care expert who cares for her son and her mom, will join me. We’ll talk about the recent case in Iowa in which a husband was acquitted for sexually abusing his wife with Alzheimer’s disease. (Read “Iowa Man ...

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Wicked Pissah


I haven’t posted since January. My sister passed away in December and caregiving activities with my 84-year-old mom with vascular dementia took on a whole new meaning. I had a difficult time helping Mom to cope and making sense out of her loss when I, myself, could barely do more than go through the motions. We are doing better now and have found ways to celebrate my sister in little ways each and every day. ...

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Leaning Downhill


Although I did some skiing “back in the day” because I wanted to be with my boyfriend/eventual husband, I never really loved it. Although I was moderately athletic, played tennis and volleyball, there was something about skiing I could never quite embrace. First, my safety depended on my own two legs, and they could fail me, particularly if fatigued. Second, my center of gravity kept me from getting up easily when I fell. For you ...

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Hiding from the World


(Editor’s Note: Today we welcome Liz, who just joined us, to our blogging team. You can connect with Liz on her profile page: @lisitasplace.) Here I am, hiding from everyone. Everyone thinks I am working out of town and all I can think of is YAY!!!!! I DO NOT WANT TO ANSWER ONE PHONE CALL. I feel exhausted, sad, anxious, and mainly angry. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in August. Overall if you look ...

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EXTREME Caregiving: Finding Balance


We’ve had an action packed few days. Again I see how profoundly a change in how you think about things can affect EVERYTHING. Friday morning we had many visitors. I hadn’t REALLY realized it’s been three months since the EXTREME part of our journey began. My days go by, it’s all about medication times and school days, what days nurses are coming, and in between all the little fires it seems I’m always putting out. ...

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Aftergiving, Caregiving, and Divine Appointments

two hands

If you follow my blog you know that I am a 40-something, sandwich generation caregiver to my mom, Grace, who suffers from mixed dementia. As I have mentioned before, her old church friends still visit her on Sundays and the deacons from her church bring her communion. This is a nice gesture because nowadays the elderly are forgotten and written off and in some countries euthanized. I joke about me being a Vulcan like Spock ...

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Just Walk Away, Renee


Today I’m placing my mom, who has dementia, in a temporary facility for two weeks while I return to my northern home to “take care of business”. Already in my third year at this, with my husband (who dutifully keeps the home fires burning), I have been negotiating our physical separation while he lives in Ohio and I live with my mom in Florida. All life now seems to be a matter of comparisons. How ...

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