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Tag Archives: depression

Me, Myself and Mom


Awhile ago I blogged about mom being switched off her anti-depressant because it wasn’t doing anything for her, in fact she was getting worse to the point I was starting to get worried.  Since them she has gone through the phase off of her old medicine and onto her new medicine. We were told it could take two to four weeks before the medicine took full effect. In fact, it was more like four to ... Read More »

Book Review: “Good Morning to You”


I won the book, Good Morning! to You, written by Denise recently in a contest on I more than likely will not do it the justice it deserves but here I go. The book is designed to get you going first thing or whenever you decide to sit down and work on it. I have found that if you decide to take this on it is best to do your contemplating and writing at ... Read More »

First Trip to the Doctors This Year


It’s only the sixth day of 2014 and we are already going to the doctor’s. Luckily, in its own way, it is for a standard cardiology check-up. Oh and it’s one hour and 45 minutes each way for me, all for maybe a 20-minute appointment, another 20 for labs and 30 to eat breakfast in the hospitals cafeteria. Great food with low military prices. We usually get in and out with full breakfasts for $7.50 ... Read More »

Did Mom Make the Kreis Christmas Dinner Party?


Did she? Did Mom Make the Kreis Christmas Dinner Party? That’s a story that needs to be told slowly instead of rushed into, so light the fire or turn on the Yule Log channel on TV like we did. Sit back, put your feet up and relax because here is how it went. It was a warm December’s eve and everyone was stirring from cookies and candies. When six o’clock rang on the old Cook ... Read More »

Mom and Her Future, an Update


Here is a follow-up to my recent post about my concerns for my mom and how I can help her with her depression. I have taken numerous psychology classes in the attempts to become a psychologist and help those with disabilities and, more to the point, chronic pain and depression. When I was looking for a psychologist to discuss my own depression and chronic pain from my accident, there were none that had dealt with ... Read More »

It’s Depressing Being Depressed Is What I’m Told


This post has taken me five days just to get to the point of sitting down and to start on it, that’s how hard it has been for me.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not discounting the original statement which was recently made by my mom who is dealing with, per her doctor, major depression which has made its way into her life slowly.  She had a double heart valve replacement surgery a handful ... Read More »

Mom and Her Secret

Mom in DisneyLand

I received a call from my Aunt Susie on Saturday regarding my mom and some medical issues she is having and has yet to tell me or my brothers about. In the past she had both knees replaced. The right one was replaced twice because she did a lot of damage to it when she twisted it stepping up onto a curb six months after the first replacement. We know that over the past 18 ... Read More »

The Caregiver Blues


I have been wanting to write about this feeling that I have had over the past few weeks. However, part of me is very reluctant to share what I am feeling. In part I am afraid that people will judge me and in part I am ashamed that I feel the way that I do. So please bear with me as I search for the right words to use to adequately explain the emotions and ... Read More »

My First Blog – An Introduction


(Editor’s Note: Please feel free to connect with Cindy on her profile page: @kccindy56.) I’m Cindy and I’m 57 years old, and have been caregiving for my 85-year-old father for several years now. My husband, Jim, and I are still sort of newlyweds, getting ready to celebrate our two-year anniversary on August 20, 2013.  Jim works full-time. I’ve been on medical disability for the last 5 ½ years due to severe osteoarthritis and a back ... Read More »

Who Hit the Panic Button?


When my Dad got sick seven years ago, I started having panic attacks. The first one happened when I was driving home from work late one night and I had to stop in the parking lot of a grocery store, call my husband, who then in turn called my father and they both showed up to get me. It felt like a weird, out-of-body experience and I was certain I was having a heart attack. ... Read More »

My Perspective on Depression


What is depression and what to look for, from my view of things. To start off I would like you to know I am not a doctor and am not claiming to be or saying that these items listed are the only things to look for. Depression effects everyone differently depending on your body type, health, medications you on, amount of exercise you get. These are some of the symptoms “I can remember having” over ... Read More »

Who Stands By You When it Hits the Fan? (Literally)


Here in Northern California it has been really hot. Unfortunately some days my mom, Grace, closes her vents if the air is on. She is always cold and wears layers of clothes that we have to peel off her at least four times a day. I try to explain to her that she will have a heat stroke  if she wears multiple  jackets and sweaters but she continues to dress like a Eskimo. At times ... Read More »

Crown Of Thorns (Running for Cover)


“May the ‘God’ of your understanding richly bless you and stay well” @rainbow. As it’s Sunday while I type this post after last night’s chat and my post about losing my temper with my father, I found that I got devoured by the Tiger of Dementia. That Beast of Depression took over last night and it’s not quite gone yet.  I haven’t slept well for days.  There is only so much yelling I can take and ... Read More »

I Missed My Fishing Buddy


These last few years have been hard for my husband as he went from being on full-time disability, back to full-time work on modified duty and then back to full-time disability. I think he lost himself somewhere in all of this, I know he was heartbroken when he learned that he would no longer be able to do a job that he loved. My husband has been a truck driver since he was 21 and ... Read More »

Where to Start and How to Keep On


I’ve been quite silent since Friday. And time has gone by in such a drastic manner. It’s been hell! I keep thinking of words such as “start” and “beginning.”  I’ve been at for a very short time, but just maybe I was intended to be. Where to start? Maybe with my story. What the hell! It isn’t that fascinating a story, but maybe it needs to be heard, read. I have my headphones on. ... Read More »

Fighting Depression During Caregiving


Molly has been helping her mom, Sally, over the past few years. She loves her mom and loves spending time with her. But, lately, Molly finds herself dragging, lethargic. She almost dreads seeing her mom, whose recent diagnosis of Alzheimer’s has left her mom teary-eyed and sad. Molly has been working with her mom’s physician to find a treatment to help Sally’s depression. Molly wonders, though, about her own emotional state. Whenever she looks in ... Read More »

Depression Almost Won Today


I woke up this morning and knew it was going to be a bad day. I didn’t want to move out of bed.  I am not sure why I felt that way but I did. I didn’t want to get up, I didn’t want to go food shopping or figure out what to eat for the next few days. I wasn’t due to see Dad until after 3 p.m. and take him to rehab. Pulling ... Read More »



“What did everyone think of our last meeting?” the discussion moderator asked. “Brutal” was my succinct answer. “Brutal? Why?” “Because it was very difficult to sit here and listen to Steve say that he has to battle depression on a daily basis when it was obviously painful for him to say that.” “Well, I did push him. Steve, how did you feel about the last meeting?” “Fine, I guess. I don’t even remember what I ... Read More »

A Ramble


Fair warning, I’m about to ramble. Due to recent events it is a little hard to write coherently…. Memorial Day evening, my daughter asks to go to her Mom’s grave. I take her. Tuesday morning the nursing home called about a “walk-in” appointment for Dad with a Podiatrist. I was already on the highway with my daughter heading toward the site of my wife’s death (different location than her grave and much further away). It ... Read More »

The Power of Our Mindset


On Monday, Anna Stookey joined me on Your Caregiving Journey to talk about how a mindset can lead to depression. (Anna shared a caveat at the beginning of the show that you’ll want to seek help if you worry you are depressed.) You can listen to our show via the player below. Anna explained that depressive thinking (Why me? What difference does it make?) can lead us to feel powerless and without any options. Depression, ... Read More »

Is Grieving Acknowledged?


This morning, on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined me for a discussion about grieving and depression. We discussed this question currently being debated by health care professionals: Should the definition of depression including grieving? You can listen to our show via the player below. (And, the inspiration for our show was this New York Times article, “Grief Could Join List of Disorders.”) Our conversation about the relationship between grief and depression morphed into a ... Read More »

Talking About Your Caregiving Depression


This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Ann Stookey joined me to continue our conversation about the depression you may feel during your caregiving experience. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. When you experience depression, you may think you can hide how you feel. When you share so much space and time with someone, like your caree, your depression will be hard to hide. So, how do ... Read More »