I am caring for my husband and having difficulty trying to find someone to contact in case of an emergency late at night. I manage fine during the day and get some help but last night he lost control of his bladder and soaked the bed, his clothing etc. I was unable to find who to call at two in the morning that could help me turn the mattress over. I’m a senior and have a back problem so all I could do was switch the mattress around and wash all the clothing so he would have someplace to sleep.

Hi,

Night-time help is difficult to find! And, you did a great job managing the situation last night. Some families do hire a home health aide for night-time; any local home health agency can tell you the cost of a home health for the night shift. This can be expensive, though! Typically, however, your other options are family, friends and, in emergencies, 911.

Take precautions so that his incontinence is managed at night. Purchase a urinal that is within easy reach while he is in bed and buy a commode that sits next to the bed. In addition, you can purchase quilted pads that absorb an amazing amount of liquid to place under your husband (or under his sheet, whatever your preference). Consider purchasing adult diapers that he can wear which will also keep his bed dry. You can purchase incontinence products online which can be delivered to your home. A few web sites include:

–www.hdis.com
–www.northshorecare.com
–www.caregiversmarketplace.com

If this is the first time you are purchasing incontinence briefs for your husband and you’re not sure what products to purchase, ask companies for samples. Explain your situation, your current about keeping your husband dry at night: What products would they suggest given your husband’s height and weight?

Of course, you’ll want to limit his intake of liquids in the evening. And, some family members do get up once during the night to help a care recipient to the bathroom.

It doesn’t hurt to call his doctor to discuss his incontinence. His doctor can ensure that his medications are not causing his incontinence. If they are, the doctor can change the schedule of the medications so that he won’t have a full bladder at night.

You can learn more about incontinence, including ways to manage it, on this page: http://www.nafc.org.

Finally, you can make a list of answers to the “What if” questions. Brainstorm all the potential problems that may occur at night and how you would like to solve them. Then, take steps to put those potential solutions in place, i.e., calling friends or family members to ask if they can help, calling your local emergency respondents to ask how they can help during certain situations.

Hang in there!

If you or your care recipient are in a crisis, we urge you to call a health care professional immediately for assistance. Denise only provides general insights about general situations. You should always consult your own lawyer, financial planner, health care professional and other professional advisors for advice specific to your situation.

I had two seniors, in particular, in great need of company. Gloria had been disabled for several years and resided with her daughter. Her life consisted mostly one one room (her bedroom), her television and her phone. The other, Bernice, had recently moved in with her daughter because her chronic illness was too much for her to manage on her own. Both Gloria and Bernice felt uncomfortable living in someone else’s home and felt it very important to have a social life outside their families. This was the one way they could feel still independent.

Gloria would call me regularly to find out if I had found a volunteer for her. Finding volunteers these days is a struggle, I finally said. To which she immediately replied: Hey, my phone works! Why can’t I volunteer to be a visitor, except I won’t make home visits, I’ll just make phone calls.

How could I argue with that?

So, Gloria became a volunteer to Bernice. Or, was it vice versa? After several days, the two became great friends–and felt great to be able to help another.

Gloria was very proud to be a volunteer in the program. The impact on her self-confidence is still something I remember today. If your care recipient suffers from a physical disability, but still enjoys an active social life, then he or she might also be able to be a volunteer. Check with your house of worship and school district. Does your church or synagogue have home-bound seniors who would welcome regular phone calls? Does your school district have a phone program that checks on children home alone after school?

Social service programs are in great need of volunteers. And, homebound persons are in great need of being needed, of being helpful, of feeling independent of their disability or chronic illness. It’s a win-win!