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May 25, 2013 10:06 am

You are browsing the archive for end-of-life.

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by Denise

End-of-Life Wishes: Joining a Conversation that Already Happens

May 21 2013 in by Denise

My parents on my dad's 80th birthday.

I suppose we all wish we were just talking about a singular caring conversation. One and done. The idea of talking about end-of-life, about living arrangements and money and dying and funeral arrangements seems so, well, uncomfortable. Which is why we hope one conversation takes care of it. The truth is we’re talking about caring [...]

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by Denise

Natural

May 14 2013 in by Denise

nature-sunflower

We feel comfortable when we do what feels natural. When we’re good with numbers, it’s natural to balance the checkbook. When we’re good with words, we love the opportunity to put pen to paper. In caregiving, you’ll feel tested in what feels natural. Providing incontinence care to an adult won’t feel natural. Making a decision [...]

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by MissAngie

Grandma’s Last Scripture

Apr 29 2013 in , by MissAngie

T256-1A

As many of you know, I care for my 85-year-old mom, Grace. She suffers from dementia. Grace also cared for her mother, Ruth, who died thirteen years ago at the age of 94. My mom suffered a stroke while my grandmother was in hospice. The stress on me during that time was great. When I [...]

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by Denise

Tell Us: What Do You Dread?

Apr 25 2013 in , by Denise

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Last night, on Your Caregiving Journey, our panel of family caregivers gathered to share what they dread. You can listen to our show via the player below. Both @kreisler and @jbones1961 dread declines while @ejourneys dreads the aftermath of a miscommunication with her partner. Our conversation led to a discussion about dreading death; I asked [...]

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by Denise

“King’s Point” Shows How We Age

Mar 5 2013 in by Denise

Several years ago, I visited Mirca Liberti, my mentor who co-founded Children of Aging Parents, at her retirement home she shared with her husband in Florida. It seemed like the life! Beautiful swimming pool, lots of activities, a leisurely pace. I envisioned my sister (and her husband) and I living in a similar community. Our [...]

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by Denise

Involve the Facility in End-of-Life Conversations

Mar 5 2013 in by Denise

By now you’re probably heard the tape of the 911 call from Glenwood Gardens, an independent living facility in Bakersfield, Calif., for help after an 87-year-old resident collapses in a dining room. During the call, the 911 dispatcher directs the caller, a registered nurse, to begin CPR on the resident. The nurse refuses. The ambulance [...]

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by Denise

End-of-Life Conversations Even After Life

Jan 31 2013 in by Denise

Last night, on Your Caregiving Journey, @Trish and I continued our conversations about end-of-life discussions. You can listen to our show via the player below. Trish shared more about her conversation with her caree, Robert, and his wishes (you can read her post about the conversation here) as well as conversations with her husband, Richard (@kreisler). [...]

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by Trish

The Tough Talk: End of Life

Jan 28 2013 in by Trish

Chris (aka @thpurplejacket and The Bow Tie Guy) cares for his partner, Richard, who has esophageal cancer and was given three to four months to live – 16 months ago. Chris is an inspiration to me in so many ways; he is a loving caregiver to his partner and is an avid advocate who created his [...]

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by Jo

Warning Order

Jan 26 2013 in by Jo

“A preliminary notice of an order or action which is to follow” A Warning Order usually does not involve the commitment of resources or forces. It is intended to gain your attention, to reorient you toward a potential future task. During my military career I received many Warning Orders, more than a few Prepare to [...]

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by Denise

A Caree Shares His Thoughts About End of Life

Jan 26 2013 in by Denise

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Chris (@thpurplejacket) and his partner, Richard, joined me to discuss Richard’s end-of-life decisions. You can listen to our show via the player below. Chris and Richard volunteered to join me to share what a discussion about end-of-life can sound like. During our discussion, Richard spoke about his desires when [...]

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by Denise

Catching Up with Kristin

Sep 28 2012 in , by Denise

Yesterday, Kristin, who blogged about caring for Mary until Mary’s death on July 31, joined me on Your Caregiving Journey. I asked Kristin to join me to share about her life after caregiving. You can listen to our show via the player below. Kristin joined us in February 2011. She became our first CareGifters recipient [...]

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by Jo

Visions of Home

Sep 26 2012 in , , by Jo

Dad’s funeral was nice. It was what Dad would have wanted. It was also a major milestone. It was the first funeral attended by my kids since the one for their Mom. They’ve had other opportunities, for lack of a better term, but were never strong enough to attend, until now. They came to Dad’s [...]

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by Denise

Rally

Sep 25 2012 in , by Denise

At the end of your caregiving experience, you’ll find yourself wishing for a rally, hoping your caree can turn another corner, regain that lost strength, recover to where she was. You’ve had so many rallies in the past, it can be hard to believe one more rally just won’t come. And, when that rally doesn’t [...]

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by Jo

Postgame

Sep 17 2012 in , , by Jo

I tried briefly to explain to Mom what had happened, that her husband was dead but even standing in the room looking at Dad’s body, Mom could not comprehend what had happened. I tried another track. Mom frequently talks about her parents. Of course she always talk about them in the present tense, she’s going [...]

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by Jo

The End

Sep 17 2012 in , , by Jo

My Dad died this morning. I will say more at a later time but I wanted to convey immediately my appreciation for the prayers, warm thoughts and support everyone has offered to my family and I on this journey. The journey hasn’t ended. It’s just a corner we’ve turned. Things new and exciting are still [...]

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by Jo

End Game: The Fast and the Slow

Sep 16 2012 in , , by Jo

“He is near the end.” That’s the expression I’ve used frequently this weekend in answer to inquires of how Dad is doing. I don’t like saying it but it’s true. The pace of nearly everything seems to be speeding up. I find myself racing around getting chores done, racing back and forth between the hospital, [...]

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by Jo

How Will It End?

Sep 13 2012 in , , by Jo

Today is my Dad’s 91st birthday. Today I asked hospice to begin providing care to my father. For the past few days, since we rushed him to the ER, I’ve pondered this question. My dad remains hospitalized. He’s out of the ER and moved to a private room but his vitals are not good. They [...]

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by Jo

All In…

Aug 29 2012 in , , by Jo

Mom remains in her nursing home Dad is still in the hospital My daughter is in a separate “seizure” diagnostic facility for the next two days Took my son in to see the Dr for a worsening ear ache My dog needs to go in to see the vet for shots So I can put [...]

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by Jo

My Broken Thought

Aug 26 2012 in , , by Jo

Denise has a question posted, “What thought will you break from?”, basically asking what negative, unhelpful thoughts, ideas, self-beliefs about yourself or your situation are you holding on to, and what could you replace them with? Here’s mine: “My dad is going to die.” That’s my biggest challenge right now. To stop skipping several steps ahead, [...]

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by Jo

Familiar Routines

Aug 25 2012 in , , by Jo

After a summer like this one, thinking of getting a bumper sticker on my car, “my other vehicle is an ambulance” I’ve been down this road before. Near the beginning of the shift you check your loved one, you check in with the nurses, hear the report from the previous shift, get the results of [...]

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by Jo

Storm Clouds

Aug 23 2012 in , , by Jo

Folks in our neck of the woods are keeping an eye on Hurricane Isaac, not because we live in Florida but because we don’t know where it might go next.  It wouldn’t be the first storm to take a right hook and make a backdoor visit on the east coast.  Even if it isn’t at [...]

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by Denise

Hot Topics

May 31 2012 in , by Denise

Last night, we debuted our first Hot Topics talk show on Your Caregiving Journey. Bette, Jane, Richard and ejourneys joined me to share their thoughts about a recent article (A Life Worth Ending) featured in New York magazine. You can listen to our show via the player below. We spoke about end-of-life decisions, making those [...]

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