My Ground Hog Day

Late last night a local radio station posed the question, “if you could relive a past day of your life, any day of your choosing, what day would that be?” A thought provoking question to be sure; depending on where you are in your life your answers could be endless or perhaps a certain day or two instantly comes to mind. Due to my parents’ decline I’ve been looking back a lot lately, capturing and...

Explaining Dementia’s Behavior to Family Members

This morning, on Your Caregiving Journey, Claire Day, Vice President of Constituent Services for the Alzheimer’s Association Delaware Valley Chapter, helped us find the words to explain dementia’s behavior to family members and friends. You can listen to our show via player, below. How do you prepare visiting family members and friends for dementia’s behavior? Please share your experiences in our...

When You Become Them

“Caregiving is not easy. I can’t imagine care-receiving is either.” Dana, a new blogger on Caregiving.com, (Welcome Dana!) made the above comment and it reminded me of one of the “joys” of sandwich caregiving especially when your kids are teenagers. My kids see my parents and have heard our family history (on both sides of the family we live a long time (90′s-100′s) and die...

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Confession:  After Robert woke up from his nap this afternoon and ate some candy from his stocking, I asked him to finish his last Christmas card. Yes, I know today is Christmas. No more Christmas cards! Please! Robert was so close to having them done last Sunday. So close!  He was down to two more to go when we had to leave to make it on time to a Christmas program at church. Robert would...

Is It Christmas Yet?!

It better not be – Robert isn’t done with his Christmas cards yet!  (Um, mine are “in the mail.”) It’s been a busy month! This is the busy time of year at work which coincides nicely with the busy time of year in my personal life – add in a dash of taking Robert to neurology appointments, dealing with contractors and electricians and permits (which may all be for naught – it’s a long story and...

Christmas Has Arrived (And It’s Very Bright)!

Things have been hectic here lately but I wanted to share a picture of what we were up to on Sunday (which explains why I was late to the Twitter chat). Robert was at our house the weekend before Thanksgiving and had his neuropsych tests on the Monday before Thanksgiving (which lasted all day long!). Robert had three seizures that day—morning, lunchtime and after dinner (none in the proximity of the doctor,...

The Journey Continues….

Home safe and sound and I can happily report that my garmet bag was right where I left it, in my bedroom, fully packed. I may have left my luggage at home but I have now have a nice new suit, dress shirt, dress shoes, socks, tie, tie clip and several casual articles of clothing. An important lesson learned, when you type the words “mall” “men’s clothing” and “chicago”...

The Importance of Being Here and Now

For my trip to my brother’s Memorial Service and to support my sister-in-law, niece and nephew, I had packed several sets of casual but nice clothes plus a dark blue suit and tie combo for the actual Service. I had made sure everything was clean, pressed, packed in my garment bag and staged in my bedroom the night before departure… where they remain. Yup, traveled all the way to the airport and was...

Grieving Again

My brother died this morning. I informed my sister. I told my son and daughter. I let friends who had been praying and supporting us know. I didn’t have the heart to tell Mom and Dad. Interestingly Dad, without prompting, asked me about his oldest son. I stammered an indirect answer. I’ve been down that road of telling them about the death of a loved one. They can’t process it. It’ll...

Approval!

Finally, after much longer than I ever expected this process to take (keep in mind, I thought Robert would be living with us by now), we have an approval from the Planning Department of our City for our garage conversion plan! You’d think I’d be jumping up and down celebrating but there was a “condition” attached to it. We are allowed to convert our garage into a bedroom and bathroom for Robert but the...

Forever Mom

I’ve come to enjoy my running dialogues with Mom. These verbal give and takes are as much about discovery and time together as they are about actual communication. They give  me some idea of where Mom is mentally and emotionally and I don’t think I’ve  ever spent as much time just talking and listening to her as I do now. Sometimes the conversations feel like treasure hunts. You never know what you’re...

Just Call it a Day When Even Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies is Difficult

I wrote this late last night but was too pooped to post it here. This was my day yesterday . . . I haven’t baked cookies in a while but, by now, I have baked a few batches in my life – it’s really not that hard. Aside from the occasional (okay, always) ability to set off the fire alarm (keep in mind, with very few actual fires), I can make a pretty tasty chocolate chip cookie. Today, the universe really tried...

Helping Family Caregivers Legally Expand the Definition of Family

Denise inspired me to write this post which I am cross-posting from my www.robertssister.com site. Denise, you inspire me daily! Denise M. Brown, founder of Caregiving.com, caregiver advocate and my good friend was recently quoted in a New York Times article addressing the challenges of caregiving while working. As a caregiver who is both an employee and a manager, I have a bit of a unique perspective about...

Surreal Cocoa School

Two weeks from today my school year will officially begin. Two weeks ago tomorrow Paul finished his second round of radiation. Today I have no idea who I am or what I’m doing in pretty much any regard. First, I’d like to thank everyone for the prayers and good wishes; this morning we actually moved some glass block into the bathroom and set up enough rows to be able to measure the total shower wall...

Memories

Robert spent the day with us but it wasn’t until the drive back to New Home that we actually talked a lot. “A lot” being relative since Robert isn’t usually very talkative and the day didn’t allow for much talking time. I picked him up after breakfast and he worked on his word search puzzle on the way back to my house (complaining about the shaky car – hey, it’s the road, not my driving). Once we got...

How is Epilepsy Treated?

I hope you don’t mind if I continue my “education” series about Robert & Epilepsy.  At Robert’s recent EEG appointment, I overheard the nurses talking about epilepsy and how it is a “forgotten disease.”  They said someone needs to shine a light on epilepsy and thought if a celebrity had a child with epilepsy it would help raise funds for research.  I don’t know about that since...

Seizures – How to Help

In my last post, I gave a brief overview of epilepsy (what it is and isn’t, how people get epilepsy and the types of seizures a person may have). Today is all about what you can do to help if you see someone having a seizure. I forget that seizures can be scary (probably because I’ve witnessed more seizures than I can count and am so used to them) but do realize they can be frightening for someone who has never...

Epilepsy: What is it and Can I Catch It? (No, You Can’t)

I really enjoyed Jane’s posts about Nicole’s conditions and thought I’d do something similar about epilepsy.  Plus, since Robert is doing his own educating about epilepsy, I was inspired to do a little educating about it too. First, the facts: What is it? Epilepsy is a medical condition that produces seizures (it’s also sometimes called a “seizure disorder”). Seizures are caused by an...

Family Dinner

Now that all of the kids are grown and have homes and families of their own, they rotate hosting holiday dinners. This year, the youngest boy and his wife have a house, rather than an apartment, and hosted for the first time. Everyone contributes to the dinner, so that all of the work doesn’t fall on one family. (I contribute my special dinner rolls.) They always fix special portions to meet Grandma’s dietary...

Birthday Dinner

Just wanting to share: Sunday, November 7th, was Mom’s 92nd birthday. My brother was in town from Missouri and the kids had a birthday dinner for Mom. It’s always good to be able to visit and catch up with each other. Mom was not feeling too good, but enjoyed herself just the same. Mom loves holding the babies and visiting with...

Meal Planning & Caregiving

Just say “NO.” -Nancy Reagan That’s all I wanted to say, was “NO.” When it comes to household chores and activities I’m not your typical male. I can cook, clean, do above average general home repairs (I finished my own basement), laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills and I’ve even been known to bake once in a blue moon. I can look forward to many things each and every day. What I didn’t look...

Faith, My Rock

Hello everyone. I hope you have been able to enjoy your holiday season this year. I am convinced that all of these moments are precious. Mine has been challenging, to say the least, but I think the duration has been appropriate and memories have been made; something that has become very important to me. Now, between Mom’s hospitalizations, an incredibly intense work project in a new job, getting ready and...