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Tag Archives: family

At Least I’m Consistent


My late grandmother got sick in 2003. My mother and grandfather lived with her and so were her main caregivers. I also helped with her to take some of the load off them. For a while I worked until she kept having recurrent health problems and had to go in the hospital one time after another. At Christmas 2003 she had to be transferred to a hospital an hour away. I needed to be more ... Read More »

Not Jeannie or a Genie


I am not Jeannie, as in I Dream of Jeannie, nor am I a genie. I do not grant wishes, I don’t look like Barbara Eden, I don’t live in a bottle or a lamp, and I don’t have a master. I think I’ve given the wrong impression that I might be a genie, though. Either that, or my husband thinks he is Captain Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Many times during the ... Read More »

The Alien in Our House


My husband has dyslexia, so he’s never been a reader. He peruses the newspaper (yes, we still get a daily paper) and if he reads anything, it’s an article in the business section. My husband doesn’t like to swim. He grew up in a house with a pool, was certified as a diver, was even a lifeguard, but has always told me he doesn’t like to swim. Over the years I’ve seen him lounge in ... Read More »



Things have been going very well here since Steve moved to a lower dose of one of his medications. He has been reading, his spirits are better, he seems to be remembering things, he’s napping less and he planned ahead and purchased a Christmas card and gifts. In the past when this has happened, I have wondered, Is he better? Has it really been something other than MCI all along? Yeah, I know, wondering if ... Read More »

Dementia, Drumsticks and Dressing


Dealing with Dementia During the Holidays As a caregiver to a mom with dementia for the past 15 years, I have found ways to make it easier on my husband, myself and Mom during the holidays. Here are a few of my suggestions for family caregivers and their carees with Alzheimer’s and other dementias during this season. I hope at least one of these will make your lives  bit easier. First, try to have family ... Read More »

Unexpected Changes


In my last posts I was speaking about how we thought Smokey was getting better, in pain, but getting better. After a routine MRI to check to see how much the area had healed, we get a call the next day to get to the ER Immediately. And so we have been here since Friday. But nothing much has happened that we could not have done at home, except, of course the slew of tests ... Read More »

Always Moving Forward


Tomorrow is Smokey’s MRI of his throat and his thoracic back area. Every time we head down to Charleston for tests I always have a positive attitude just knowing we are going to get great news and that healing is taking place. Every time we have been down there, the results are never what we hope for or expect. But I will NOT give up believing our miracle is coming and Smokey’s healing is taking ... Read More »


source: wikipedia

“My goal is to live until our son turns 18.” “13 months from now? Is there something you’re not telling me?” “Well, I didn’t expect to be on disability at 55, and I think it’s important for a child to have their parents until they are 18, don’t you?” I was quite a sight with my mouth open like a fish’s and tears spilling out of my eyes. “Frankly, I’m speechless. My goal is to ... Read More »

Keeping Your Seat at the Head of the Table


A visitor to the website recently posted a request for help. My friend, she explained, and her sister are locked in a power struggle over who will be the No. 1 caregiver for their mom. My friend has been helping and caring for her mother for years. Now that her mother’s end is near, her out-of-town sister has arrived, gunning to take over. How can I help my friend, she asked? When you’ve taken care ... Read More »

I Can C.A.R.E.


Steve and I are part of a support group for people with early to moderate memory loss and their spouse. The group starts together and then breaks into separate groups for the caregiver and the caree. In my group, the caregiver has given us the acronym C.A.R. We should not confront, argue or rationalize with our caree. I am tired of being told what I can’t do, which I know probably makes me sound like ... Read More »

Back to…

It’s back to school time! If you are raising a child, they have either started school or will be returning to school very soon. With the start of the school year comes excitement, anxiety, new clothes, new school supplies, the outlay of a lot of money, and a busier schedule. If you’re also a family caregiver, you may be wondering how you will juggle everything. You might be an experienced family caregiver who has been ... Read More »

23rd Weddng Anniversary and Medieval Knights: My Staycation

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As family caregivers our finances and time are limited. This summer however I refused to let that stop me and I vowed to do at least one thing this summer I had never done before. Maybe you can to. Some of you know I am a book cover artist on the side. I create mostly fantasy, romance and historical fiction, i.e. Philippa Gregory type stuff. So I love anything 15th to 18th century. So I ... Read More »

Does Your Dog Read Your Blog? My Dog Ate My Housework

You shall not sweep!

I know that I always tell other caregivers to take breaks during the day. I don’t always follow my own advice. My husband, kids and some neighbors tell me to get out more, I don’t always have to be doing something for Mom, the kids or the house. I feel like I do. Apparently my American Pit Bull Terrier, Rusty, agrees with my family and friends. He has come up with preventative measures to keep ... Read More »

Déjà Vu


Earlier this week, you might have read my blog, “The Juggling Caregiver” about my husband, Steve being sick last Friday night. Well, we’re having a repeat performance tonight. Steve met a friend for lunch today and our son and I went out on a few errands and enjoyed lunch out together. Steve told us about his lunch, we discussed a few things and he went to work drawing out plans for a project to add ... Read More »

The Juggling Caregiver


Announcer’s Voice: Ladies and gentlemen! Today we bring you one of the most daring feats known to mankind.  We have with us a woman, measuring in at 5’ 1 1/2” who is going to try to dazzle you with her juggling, and not just any juggling! She is going to try to juggle two men! Yes, you heard that right! Previously, she has attempted juggling two men and a boy with less than impressive results, ... Read More »

Should I Call?


Sarah cared for her mother until her mother’s death three years ago. She now cares for her father. Her sister, Claire, lives 500 miles away. When their mom became ill, Sarah called Claire with regular updates until Claire said, “I don’t need so many updates.” Sarah, miffed beyond words, stopped calling. Now, Claire calls their father two or three times during the week but she doesn’t call Sarah. This makes Sarah crazy. She would like ... Read More »

NOOOOOO! Not the Cat!!


I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before, so please bear with me while I say again that if you’re a caregiver, other things should go smoothly in life. It’s like there should be a deal with the universe that you’re already dealing with something HUGE so you don’t have to deal with any other problems or potential problems. We have a kitty, Sagwa, that we love. Our son picked him out at the shelter when ... Read More »

Graceldoor and the Three Bedrooms: Someone’s Been Sleeping in My Bed


As a daughter of a mom with dementia the day-to-day routines for my mom can be a challenge. Things like finding the right bedroom or knowing that we have two bathrooms in the house. My husband Shon and I are big Lord Of The Rings fans. Most of the characters have names like Isildor or Galandria, and  other cool Middle Earth names. It never fails that when we are on the couch together my mom ... Read More »

Full Moon


It was obvious that there was a full moon recently.  There has been a slight change in things, but I don’t know if it’s temporary or permanent, which adds to the challenge. Saturday morning the three of us were talking. Our son said something and repeated it and Steve still didn’t seem to hear it so I said it louder. Steve told me not to yell, and said that if I don’t want to answer ... Read More »

Caregiver Bloopers: Mom’s Appointments, Vicodin, Viagra and Volkswagens


As a family caregiver you probably spend more time at your caree’s hospital than they do. You are also wondering why a image of Julio Iglesias is on this post. Just keep reading. I hope this brightens your day and makes you laugh. You are the one that has to go get medications when they run out. You have to take forms to the correct department. You have to resolve billing errors. You are also ... Read More »

Tips for Avoiding the Family Feud


How do you avoid a family feud during caregiving, an experience that seems to bring out the worst in the family? The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (NAPGCM) asked its members–professionals who work with older people, people with disabilities and families who need assistance with caregiving issues–that very question (How do you avoid a family feud during caregiving?). The top five tips from the surveyed geriatric care managers include: 1.    Give each family member ... Read More »

The Test

medical kit

Tomorrow I’m having a colonoscopy. From here on out we’re referring to it as The Test because c-o-l-o-n-o-s-c-o-p-y is too much to type. This has been scheduled since early last month. I let Steve and our son know and had already arranged for a friend to take me for the appointment. She’s not a morning person, yet, she’s picking me up at 7:15 tomorrow morning. What a friend! Most of the time, Steve’s memory issues ... Read More »