Stepping Into the Caregiving Size that Fits

Anna Stookey joined me yesterday on Your Caregiving Journey for our monthly chat. We discussed the importance of accepting today’s reality so we can wake up tomorrow in a good place. You can listen to our show via the player below. Anna shared a great example of what it’s like when we resist the reality of our today. It’s like how we may feel when we’ve gained weight, she said, and yet we...

Hole

Sometimes, the struggle in your life can feel like hole in the toe of your sock when you’re wearing boots on a snowy day. It’s irritating, uncomfortable and aggravating. In the moment, it also seems unsolvable, like it will last forever. Like you will always be walking in your boots in the snow as your toe sticks out of your sock. Of course, the hole in the sock can be a quick fix. You can sew the sock...

What Would You Have Resolved Before Caregiving Began?

In 1998, I sat in my bedroom in my parents’ home and penned The Caregiving Years handbook. Through the handbook, I wanted to share ways to walk the caregiving journey without walking out. More importantly, I wanted the handbook to help family caregivers end the experience without regrets and move into their lives’ next chapter with a motivating sense of purpose. The handbook includes tips for for the...

Simply, Forgive

Yesterday morning, I presented a workshop, Healing the Life-Long Family Rifts, for a local assisted living facility. (The workshop is available as a webinar; you can listen to it here.) I began the workshop by asking attendees to share the rifts they’ve experienced in their families. Mary needed little prodding to share about her rift with her brother. She had cared for her mother for 10 years. And, her list...

Why Forever Is Okay

This afternoon, Trish joined me on Your Caregiving Journey to discuss her book, Forever a Caregiver, our October Caregiving Book Club pick. You can listen to our discussion via the player below. Trish’s book details her childhood with a mom who suffered from severe depression and a father who lived the highs and lows of bipolar disease. It’s a story of cigarette smoke, suicide attempts and broken...

No Regrets (Fingers Crossed)

On Friday, four caregiving experts joined me for a discussion on Your Caregiving Journey on preventing regrets. Our experts included Leann Reynolds, president of Homewatch CareGivers; Suzanne Mintz, CEO of National Family Caregivers Association; Jesse Slome, Director of the American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance; and Bette, who blogs about caring for her mom and her children. You can listen to our show...

Forgiveness: Opening the Door You Kept Shut

This afternoon on Your Caregiving Journey, Bette joined me to share her story of forgiveness. You can listen to our show via the podcast at the bottom of the post. Bette’s forgiveness story involves her mom, who is also her caree. A difficult childhood relationship created a relationship in adulthood that Bette dodged. But, the dodging became more difficult when Bette’s mom moved in with Bette’s...

Next Time

We can be so generous in the chances we give to others. We are quick to help a friend feel better who at times can’t be as supportive as we’d like, to extend a good wish to someone who took a bad day out on us, to accept a hug from someone who may have hurt us. The ability to accept another’s imperfections speaks so well of us. We can give another another chance. Why, then, do we hesitate to be as...

A Wrong Turn Into the Right Life

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined me to talk about how the wrong turns in life often lead to the right life. You can listen to our show via the player below. I’ve been thinking about life’s wrong turns. I’ve noticed that when I take a wrong turn in the car I often find a short cut. What if, I’ve thought, a wrong turn leads to the right life? Anna and I discussed...

Ten Life Lessons

Yesterday, I led our monthly webinar for professionals working with family caregivers. In the webinar, I shared the ten life lessons I learned from working with family caregivers. (If you’d like to listen to the webinar, go here.) I thought you’d enjoy them, too. The life lessons I’ve learned from family caregivers follow: 1. Health Gives You a Fighting Chance, No Matter What Happens. When you...

Let Go, Let God

Today on Your Caregiving Journey, Kathy joined me to share her story of forgiveness. You can listen to the show via the player below. Kathy’s story involves Hubby and the breakdown of their marriage in 2005. Her story also involves reconciling with Hubby in early 2007 despite the objections of family and friends. Kathy shared a turning point in forgiving her husband: She let go and let God. She also took...

Resolving Money

This morning, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined me to discuss money as it relates to relationships and relationships impacted by caregiving. You can listen to our show via the player below. We spoke about the importance of communication when it comes to all things money. In particular, we spoke about the discussing expectations if you and your spouse contribute to a caregiving budget. It’s important...

Taking the Follow

We aired our March Caregiving Book Club discussion yesterday on Your Caregiving Journey. Cathie Borrie, the author of this month’s pick, joined me to discuss her book, “The Long Hello ~ The Other Side of Alzheimer’s.” You can listen to our discussion via the player below. Cathie cared for her mom, who had dementia, for seven years. During our discussion, Cathie shared her technique for coping...

What Do You See Now?

Today, on Your Caregiving Journey, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, our happiness expert, joined us to share her slant on forgiveness. You can listen to our show via the player below. We spoke about two words which can keep us from moving into forgiveness: “If only…” If only he would…. If only she said… “If only” can be a huge obstacle to acceptance, which leads to forgiveness. When...

Webinar Follow-Up: What Will You Let Go?

In yesterday’s free webinar, “Surviving Caregiving: Letting Go” we looked at how holding on too tight may make a caregiving experience that much harder. We talked about how we may hold on to 1. What was; 2. Expectations; 3. Definitions. We also considered what we gained in letting go: Solutions, Peace and Success. (Did you miss our webinar? No worries! You can listen to a recording of our webinar here.) I...

Forgiveness, Part 4

This morning, Anna Stookey joined me on Your Caregiving Journey to talk about what forgiveness means to her and to share her story of forgiveness. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. Anna suggested that we gain a better understanding of forgiveness by breaking the word down: The core of forgiveness is give. In forgiving, we give back the wrong rather than taking it on. Anna shared...

Forgiveness, Part 3

Oohhh, you are going to love today’s show on forgiveness, which aired just a few moments ago. You can listen to the show via the player below. My guest, Lawrence, shared the story of his father and how he let go of the long-held resentments he held toward his father. The resentments held toward his father ultimately just held back Lawrence. I asked Lawrence if he could offer steps we can take to toward...

Letting Go of What Was to Create What Can Be

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Kim Atchley, coauthor of “When Your Aging Parent Needs Care: Practical Help for this Season of Life,” shared her story of forgiveness–forgiving her mom, who was an alcoholic. You can listen to our show via the player below. This is our second show in our series on forgiveness. You’ll love listening to Kim tell her story because her story is truly...

When Has Forgiveness Brought You Understanding?

Today on Your Caregiving Journey, we began our special series on forgiveness. Rick Lauber, author of “Caregiver’s Guide for Canadians” and former caregiver for his father with Alzheimer’s disease, joined us to share how an unexpected discovery helped heal his relationship with his father. You can listen to our show via the player below. During our discussion, Rick offered his definition of...

It’s “Free Yourself from the Hook” Day

The New York Times published an interesting article last night (“Go Easy on Yourself, A New Wave of Research Shows”). Author Tara Parker-Pope writes that we need more self-compassion, not discipline and will power: “…Research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion...

Dear Denise: She Calls, I Blow Up. What Do I Do?

Dear Denise, I am having so much trouble dealing with my mom’s cancer and dementia. I just cannot keep my cool. She makes things up and tells me the nurses and doctors told her then I have to follow up and find out she got it all wrong. I get so stressed out. She calls and blows my whole day for me and I cannot get over it. Hi, You’re in a stressful situation, trying to do your best when it can be hard...

Three Voices of Caregiving

Today, on Your Caregiving Journey, we held our monthly book club discussion. In July, we read  “Voices of Caregiving, the Healing Companion: Stories for Courage, Comfort and Strength.” Today, contributors Nancy Hoke, M.C. Winters and Marc Silver talked about their caregiving experiences. You can listen to our hour-long show via the player at the bottom of the post. Each told a different story of caregiving;...