Elevator

Life has its ups and downs. Caregiving, though, can seem like an one-way elevator—it just goes down. Caregiving can be a downer. You see so much suffering. And, so much seems to suffer because of caregiving: Friendships, relationships, career goals, your health, your independence, your confidence. Is it possible to go up? You push the “Up” button on your elevator when: You choose forgiveness,...

The 6 Myths of Caregiving

It’s full of surprises, this caregiving ride. We’ve created a list of six biggest drops (myths) on the caregiving roller coaster. 1. The government has programs, like Medicare, that will off-set the costs of care. Sure, Medicare exists but its benefits for long-term care pay only in the short-term. And, Medicaid helps those whose low-income qualifies them for help. Care falls to the family (and...

Take Five: Forgiveness Tips

It’s becoming one of my favorite words: Forgiveness. On today’s Your Caregiving Journey, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, author of “A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness,” shared the hows and whys of forgivness, all the time reinforcing the truth of forgiveness: It’s the best gift we give ourselves. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of this post.) So, a few tips to help as...

Holiday Healing: Stop the Games, But Form a Team

Today on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined us for the second part of our discussion on healing family rifts. Our discussion focused on spending time during the holidays with those who just seem to push our buttons. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of this post.) Some suggestions to keep in mind: 1. Just let your family “be” rather than expecting them to be who you think they...

Ask Denise: Why Wouldn’t She Just Tell Me?

Dear Denise, First of all, thank you for your blog. I have found it very enlightening and uplifting during this hard time. My father was recently placed in the local VA Home – without my knowledge.  I live in the same town as my parents, who have been married for 50 years. My mother came to me and my husband to inform me that she had put my dad in the home.  I completely understand her motive, but I wish she...

Yesterday

Do you live in the mistakes of yesterday? It’s okay that something went wrong yesterday or last week or last year or last decade. We are imperfect beings, meant to live imperfect lives. Mistakes of yesterday only become problems when they cloud our opportunities of today. Don’t let yesterday’s mistakes rob you of today’s blessings. Let go of yesterday. Live today.

7 Traits of a Hope-full Family Caregiver

A friend last week told me about a book–The Seven Desires of Every Heart by Mark Laaser and Debra Laaser. The authors tell us what every heart wants: to be heard, affirmed, blessed, safe, touched, chosen. (We’ve selected this book to be our Caregiving Book Club read in June; I’m looking forward to hearing what you think of these seven.) This book’s title reminded me of Stephen Covey’s...

Spring

When spring arrives, we open our windows to enjoy the fresh air and… clean. This spring-cleaning season, what needs your attention? Do you need to clean out the closet that stashes your guilt? The attic that holds your resentments? The containers that store your anger? Air out your closets, attic and containers. Let go of what holds you back–the guilt, the resentments, the anger. You don’t need...

A Grandma Euro

I took a trip this weekend to Dublin with two friends. It was my first trip across the Big Pond and I was feeling a bit nervous. We arrived at our hotel on Friday morning about 10 a.m. I stepped out the cab, looked down and, there it was, a nice shiny one cent Euro. Pennies from heaven. This morning, I realized it was a penny from Grandma, who would have loved that I made a trip to Ireland. I wrote about my...

What Can’t You Forgive?

In Tell, you tell us what you think and feel. Sometimes, you’ll tell us what you wouldn’t tell someone else–and that’s our purpose. Let it out–tell us. So… Tell us: What can’t you forgive? We know that forgiveness is the gift we give ourselves. But, sometimes, it can seem so hard to forgive–the disease that won’t relent, the family members who won’t help, the doctor who...