Today I went to work. It may be two days before Christmas and relatively quiet but a military base never completely closes.
Today I saw new “Welcome Home” banners posted on the fence line outside the base. A unit must be returning soon. I pray they make it back in time for Christmas, it’ll be close. I remember those days and smile, happy for the returning Marines and their families.
Today I took my Dad to yet...
I’m looking forward to the Progressive Blog Party this year, especially after days like today.
Mom and Dad seemed to push all of my emotional buttons today during my visit with them. Dad is increasingly tired and now having trouble just sitting up. He speaks when spoken to but when he opens his eyes there is no sense of recognition. When asked who I am, he just stares blankly. He hasn’t spoken...
“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks…”
[1 Thess 5:16-18a]
The past month has given me much to be thankful for…
I am thankful for the legacy my brother has left me.
I am thankful that I got to see him just before his death.
I am thankful for my best friend’s young son walked up and gave me a hug at my brother’s memorial service.
I am thankful for the...
This morning, Claire Day, Vice President of Constituent Services for the Alzheimer’s Association Delaware Valley Chapter, joined me on Your Caregiving Journey to talk about Alzheimer’s disease and Hospice. You can listen to our show via the player below.
We talked about the importance of including Hospice in your caree’s care plan as well as its benefits to you and to your caree. Medicare includes a...
Home safe and sound and I can happily report that my garmet bag was right where I left it, in my bedroom, fully packed. I may have left my luggage at home but I have now have a nice new suit, dress shirt, dress shoes, socks, tie, tie clip and several casual articles of clothing.
An important lesson learned, when you type the words “mall” “men’s clothing” and “chicago”...
I was up late last night, trading emails with my sister-in-law, helping in the planning of my brother’s memorial. One of the things she asked me do to was edit a biography of him. I couldn’t help but reflect on the many things I had learned from my older brother. Arguably one of the most important lessons was the importance of those who serve you.
Every where my brother went, he made a point of making...
My brother died this morning.
I informed my sister. I told my son and daughter. I let friends who had been praying and supporting us know. I didn’t have the heart to tell Mom and Dad.
Interestingly Dad, without prompting, asked me about his oldest son. I stammered an indirect answer.
I’ve been down that road of telling them about the death of a loved one. They can’t process it. It’ll...
Posted by
Denise on Sep 13th, 2011 in
Denise's Blog,
Tell Us |
4 comments
In last week’s poll, What’s Caregiving’s Worst Side Effect?, your top answer was, “I feel like I lost myself.”
I’d love for you to tell us more. For instance, do you feel like you look in the mirror and wonder what happened? Do you feel like you’ve lost your ability to enjoy what you used to? Or, do you look around and think: How did I get to where I don’t...
I avoided all news channels this past weekend. The memorials and scenes from 9-11 were too much for me to take in. Like everyone of age, I remember precisely where I was and what I was doing ten years ago that fateful morning. In some ways my world changed very little. Ten years ago I was already on active duty and living on a military installation, and I had also already been on the ground previously in...
This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Holly, who cares for her husband, joined me to share her story of accepting her truth in her life. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.
Holly shared a time in her life when she felt her inner light had been turned off. She was already caring for Dave, diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2006, when she learned they had lost all their...
My family and I fared fine in the “Storm of the Century” and I’ve been reminded of the importance of knowing which way is “down wind” when walking your dog during a hurricane. Broken limbs and fallen branches have created a mess in our yard. When my kids asked who was going to clean this up I countered with the question who’s yard was it? We spent a long day yesterday raking and cleaning creating...
Posted by
Denise on Aug 23rd, 2011 in
Denise's Blog,
Tell Us |
7 comments
Over the weekend, one of our Facebook fans shared what’s on her heart:
“Does anyone feel like there spirit has been broken being a caregiver?,” she wrote. “I am doing what I need to do but I feel like my spirit is broken.”
Caregiving can get the best of you in a day, when a phone call brings more bad news or a dementia behavior demands one more ounce of patience than you have.
But,...
While visiting with my parents today a staff member let me know that another resident had just died that morning. I could instantly tell it was hitting all of the staff hard. They were doing their best to go about their duties and keep things as normal as possible for the balance of the residents but they were hurting. It made me think of all of the people who assist us Caregivers: hospice workers, aides,...
“There he is!”
That’s how Mom greeted me the other day. I was relieved. Although it had only been a few days since I had last been there. Still I half expected her to shout out, “Where have you been?”
Since I haven’t blogged here since early July you would be excused if you said the same thing. In my defense it has been a busy summer: music camp which involved driving 1,300 miles...
Some days, you might wish you could reach for the paste, so you could glue together the pieces of your life. Caregiving can seem to act like a scissors, cutting your life into bits and pieces.
Rather than trying to paste together what was, put together a new picture of what is. If you focus so much on what was, believing there’s nothing for you in the what is, then you miss the true of glue of your life...
In a caregiving role, you may find yourself thinking: This is the worst. My life is the worst life ever.
I’ve been thinking, What’s the worst thing that can happen? In this Life Line, I offer my perspective on what really is the worst thing that can happen to us. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section,...
I don’t much enjoy holidays anymore.
Christmas, it was my wife’s favorite and one she went all out for… nope, don’t care for Christmas; Mother’s Day, even now still a bit of nightmare for my kids; Birthday’s, not so much, especially my own now that my parents no longer know me; Thanksgiving, my wife died in early Nov right before Thanksgiving. Ok Fourth of July remains...
That’s basically what I answered my son last night when he ask me if he could drive home. His qualification to drive… he’s a graduate of Driver’s Ed. YEAH! Now I’ve put him behind the wheel in parking lots and such and Driver’s Ed did give him several days of road time but last night it was dark, we were in a hurry and I told him I’m was in my state of denial where there are no teenagers...
Yesterday afternoon on Your Caregiving Journey, Elissa Al-Chokhachy joined me to discuss her book and our March Caregiving Book Club pick, Miraculous Moments, True Stories that Life Goes On. You can listen to our discussion via the player, below.
Miraculous Moments is a collection of 88 stories from individuals telling a true tale about connecting to family members and friends who have died. The authors write about...
Verb \ ˈri-mem-bər \ “to put back together that which is broken”
I read recently the poignant reminder that unbeknownst to many, they are on the verge of a very different life, a life turned upside down. They are doing for the last time, what they think they will be doing twenty years from now. As a widower, solo-parent and caregiver to both parents, while also working fulltime that is a line I crossed...
This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Anna Stookey joined me to talk about grief, during and after caregiving. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.
Anna shared an interesting insight about grief: It’s our shift that happens when we see a change in our world. Think about the moment you heard that your caree had just suffered a stroke. Or, the day you learned of your...
Posted by
Jo on Jan 16th, 2011 in
Blogs,
Jo's Blog |
6 comments
That’s what my son likes to remind me, usually when he’s gripping a leg and pulling while his sister is gripping an arm and pulling and the dog is looking like he’d like to grip something…if only he had thumbs.
“…just remember Papa, you signed up for this…”
Funny, I don’t remember the widower, single parent, caregiver, dog catcher clause in the plethora of forms I’ve signed over the years....
