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Tag Archives: grief

Tell Us: Whose Lack of Support Hurts You the Most?

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On Sunday night, during our evening chat, we discussed the family members we thought who would support us but don’t. Or, can’t. Or, won’t. We all have stories about family members and friends who disappear (well, run) when caregiving enters our life’s equation. I wonder, though, which one hurts the most? Which one who turned and left still smarts? Tell us about the lack of support from a family member or friend which really causes ...

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Learning to Say Goodbye

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Learning to say goodbye to someone may sound easy, but from a personal, even intimate standpoint, I know it’s not an easy thing. This week I have wrestled with saying goodbye to a lifelong friend of mine. My friend Mitch was never a “boyfriend” of mine, he was a boy who was a friend. That’s a little different. We grew up in the same small town where everyone knows each other. We attended the same ...

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Totally Off Guard

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I was going through my email a few days ago as I was watching TV with P. He sensed my mood changed and asked if I was OK. He doesn’t even have to be looking at me and he senses my moods. It is so wonderful to have a mate who is so connected and responsive. His query was all it took and tears just started rolling down my face. In my email was an advertisement for ...

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Just One of Those Days

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It’s just been one of those days. You know those days when you really don’t want to get out of bed, when your feet hit the floor you know it’s a big mistake that you are even attempting to start the day. That’s how I felt when I got up this morning and the feeling has not quite left me, and it’s almost 10 p.m. I’m not really looking forward to Saturday, the day of ...

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After EXTREME Caregiving: Adjusting

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Even reading previous blogs of mine, I can’t beleve how everything changed so quickly. I was certain the week she got her reassessment March 12 we’d have to do it again in June. Even her nurses thought that. The only true indication was the purposfull falling. It’s been nearly two weeks since SIL passed. Routines are weird. Mom seemed to mourn the first week while I was okay but it’s kind of reversed. Me and ...

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After Caregiving

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Taking one day at a time for grieving my mother-in-law. The funeral was beautiful on Sunday. Too bad some family members did not shed a tear or showed they cared. They only care about material things. They did not leave any flowers. They took them all. They didn’t even leave any at the crypt. We will buy silk flowers and place them there. After caregiving, I will be doing my online college homework as I ...

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Reflections on Caregiving Stress and Guilt

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Today I read @jen ’s post, “The System Is Beyond Broken.” So many things she said hit home. Even though it has been 9 months since my MIL died, I plugged into the emotion and frustration Jen expressed: red tape, waiting, limbo finding help that really helps financial worries back breaking transfers just plain stress overload….. I remember a day in particular I reached overload. I was fighting pneumonia and back spasms. I needed to find ...

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Aftergiving, Caregiving, and Divine Appointments

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If you follow my blog you know that I am a 40-something, sandwich generation caregiver to my mom, Grace, who suffers from mixed dementia. As I have mentioned before, her old church friends still visit her on Sundays and the deacons from her church bring her communion. This is a nice gesture because nowadays the elderly are forgotten and written off and in some countries euthanized. I joke about me being a Vulcan like Spock ...

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Tell Us: When Does Your Heart Break?

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On Valentine’s Day, we talk about love. In caregiving, though, you can feel like the talk is about heart break. Your caree suffers another decline; your heart breaks. You can’t find the solution you need; your heart breaks. A family member is a no-show yet again; your heart breaks. A broken heart needs good company. So, tell us in our comments section, below, when does your heart break?

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He’s Always With Me

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Three months ago today Grandpa went to the hospital and didn’t come home. I miss him every day, some days it feels like the tears won’t stop and some days it’s laughter that brings Grandpa close. I would like to thank everyone for your kind words and support, your thoughts and prayers mean more to me than you’ll ever know. I would like to share with you all the words I spoke at my Grandpa’s ...

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