In caregiving, the world can seem to consist of “either…or.” The world, then, might become these thoughts:
Either I put my needs second or my caree doesn’t have his needs met.
Either I stay with my caree constantly or bad things will happen.
Either I put my life on hold or my caree will not have what he [...]
Dear Denise,
I’m not really sure how to work myself around the site yet. However, I wanted to tell you my story and ask for some advice. My mother that had a massive stroke last year. It left her paralyzed on her dominant side and considerable amount of brain damage. She also shows signs of Alzheimer’s.
She [...]
Continue reading about Ask Denise: Should Mom Come Home to My Home?
Today on Your Caregiving Journey, Donna Ryan joined us to talk about her recent trip to Atlanta with her mom. (You can listen to our discussion via the player at the bottom of this post.)
Toward the end of the show, we talked about the worry about discussing caregiving with non-caregiving friends. With the worry comes [...]
Continue reading about Even If a Choice, It’s Still Difficult
Dear Denise,
I’ve been reading the recent discussion about guilt. I do schedule time away from my caree, but feel guilty for doing so—even though I know I want and need the time away.
I wonder: Is feeling guilty related to self-esteem?
Hello,
What a great question.
The short answer: Yes.
Let’s break it down.
Here’s the good about your guilt: Your [...]
Continue reading about Ask Denise: Is the Guilt About Self-Esteem?
(Editor’s Note: On Sunday, Terri, one of our website visitors, shared a worry in the comment section of our article about leaving and leaving behind the guilt. With Terri’s permission, we include her question and my suggestions in today’s Ask Denise column.)
Dear Denise,
I have taken care of my mom and dad for the past almost [...]
Continue reading about Ask Denise: How Do I Walk Away Without the Guilt?
Today on Your Caregiving Journey, Bette Scott, one of our Caregiver of the Year award winners, joined us for a discussion about caring for her mom while raising three children. (You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post.)
During our discussion, Bette shared two goals she has for 2010:
1. [...]
You plow through the days, doing your best to stay positive, strong, smiling.
But, some days, well, you just find yourself wishing for a pink slip. If only you could just walk away from your caregiving role, you think, life would be so much better. And, worse, the wish to walk weighs heavily on your heart. [...]
Continue reading about Tell Us: When Do You Wish for a Pink Slip?
Dear Denise,
My husband is caring for his parents who have 24-hour care in a nursing home. My problem is that my husband does not feel comfortable traveling to get away and limit his stress. His communicates that he must be available to his folks “if anything happens.” He also feels that when one of them [...]
Continue reading about Ask Denise: How Do I Convince My Husband to Travel?
You want it to be nice, unforgettable, special, as close to perfect as possible. Surely, there can’t be that many more left for both of you to enjoy.
But, the pressure to make it perfect can ruin any well-intentioned holiday, be it Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Christmas. And, the pressure intensifies because of those thoughts [...]
Continue reading about 10 Tips to Ease the Pressure-Cooker Holiday: Hoping for Perfect
Many years ago, a member of one of our online support groups regularly reminded the group members: Life is for the living.
In caregiving, you sometimes feel stuck between life and death. How do you go about life when death and decline won’t go away?
Last night, during The History Channel’s “WWII in HD,” we saw how [...]
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