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Tag Archives: guilt

Tell Us: What Brings on the Guilt?

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You have to be two places at the same time. Because that’s impossible, you have to make a choice as to which place you’ll be. You’re physically present in that one place but the guilt means you’re really thinking about the other place. Or, you have a day during which you don’t have the energy to do all that’s required. You decide to give yourself a break, which means your caree stays in pajamas all day. ...

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EXTREME Caregiving: A New Approach

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magA few days ago I was at such a low point. SIL (as shared previously) was falling and we figured out it was attention seeking. I got so hurt and confused. I usually take things in stride, but I’m sorry to say I didn’t this time. The pressures of the situation caught up I guess. I was so sad, so disheartened by that. Just WHY when I do everything I can to help her? SIL ...

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Load

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It’s said that it’s not how heavy the load, it’s how you carry it. If only it were one load. It’s loads of laundry. It’s loads of requests for help to answer. It’s loads of time to find and figure out what works. It’s loads of worry about how long you can pinch pennies. It’s loads of guilt about how much to do with only two hands and one heart. The loads will weigh you ...

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Still New at This

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Hello there. Well this afternoon evened out. I was changing Mom (my mother-in-law) and she said she was going to tell everyone that I was a good nurse. I gave her a hug and told her thank you and I apologized for blowing up at her. She said that it was okay. She didn’t remember what had happened  between her and I. That’s the first time I ever blew up at her. She’s afraid that ...

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EXTREME Caregiving: The Saga Continues

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Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. SIL physical condition continues to improve beyond all expectations but good God, any reasonable behavior is sorely lacking! Mom and I had a baby shower to go to and left SIL with a trusted babysitter while my son was also home. Far be it for us to think Mom and I could leave the house together for four hours! SIL caused ...

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EXTREME Caregiving: I’m So Imperfect But Oh Well!

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As we yet again adjust to SIL’s change in condition and behavior I ended up kind of losing it. SIL is much clearer, speaking as well as walking better. Last week her social worker came by and she was relaying stories from her past, a good story about her run in with a moose in Alaska, I knew she was coming back! I’d heard the story before and she said it all right. Amazing, truly. ...

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EXTREME Caregiving: Taking Care of Me? Ha!

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SIL continues on her upswing, for which we are eternally grateful. But what comes with that is the swing from “I can do it myself” to “I can’t do anything.” Fun times this morning. SIL continues to be ‘with it” to a certain extent which means the teenage part takes over. She doesn’t ‘feel like’ being in her room this morning. She felt like moving a giant recliner and doggie gate, getting through a giant ...

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Fill in the Blank: I Give Myself Permission to ___________

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Today, Care Break aired on Your Caregiving Journey. @brucemc, @jbones1961 and I continued our conversation about promises we make during caregiving to ourselves and our caree. (You can listen to our show via the player, below.) During our conversations, we spoke about how promises tie us to a future that we can’t predict. And, that’s the danger of promises–we make a promise today to act, say and be a certain way in an uncertain and ...

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EXTREME Caregiving Day 2: Trying to Take Care of Me

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As I’m stepping back a little,I’m realzsing everything I’ve been doing. I’m still here for my sister-in-law, but this weekend I’m support staff lol, not head caregiver while we try and forge ahead and try and find balance especially for me. Hospice is a weird thing, for most it is a few weeks as you say goodbye to your loved one, hopefully at home. I was prepared for that with SIL but I really didn’t ...

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The Last Straw

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Mom, at  age 84,  is a stroke survivor. She can walk with a walker and for the most part has good physical strength. She can speak and hold a conversation. She can really fool people with her jovial disposition. She has trouble with balance, memory and safety awareness. To the outside world, she does well. At home, the mask comes off and she needs almost constant attention to stay on task and to stay safe. The verbal cues and the physical care are ...

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