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Tag Archives: Help

Tell Us: When Do You Hate to Ask for Help?

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I regularly ask for help. I’m good about asking my siblings to take my parents to a doctor’s appointment if I can’t. I’m good about stopping to ask for directions when I’m lost. I’m good about asking for help from volunteers in our community. But, I still face situations when I know I have to ask for help and I just hate it. For instance, I hate when I have to ask someone to help ...

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Dear Family, Because I’m a Caregiver…

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On Sunday, we met on Twitter for #carechat, our every-other-week gathering with others who care for a family member or friend. We discussed how to keep a life during caregiving and the importance of having help so we can keep an activity or an event that’s important to us. During our chat, @karavanderpoolward had a great idea. “I think we need a set of download-able letters,” she tweeted. “Dear (siblig,neighbor,dr.,friend,) I am a CG, and this is what you ...

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But, That’s What We Do!

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The documentary, “The Genius of Marian,” tells the story of Pam White, diagnosed with early onset Alzheimr’s disease. Her son, the filmmaker, shows his mom as she adjusts and declines and his father as he takes on more and more of her care. At one point, his father explains his perspective on caregiving. A staff member at the Alzheimer’s Association suggested he hire a home health aide to help with Pam’s care so he could ...

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Sometimes Digging Leads to More Than a Buried Dog Bone

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Well, I am a very tenacious person. People in my working life called me a bulldog behind my back. I get to the bottom of things. I dig my way past all the rubbish and root out the problem. Mom was not eating, she was losing weight. My first thought was hospice. She is 92, wants no heroic efforts, no surgeries, just comfort. Well, it seems Medicare has eliminated “adult who is not thriving” as ...

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EXTREME Caregiving Day 2: Trying to Take Care of Me

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As I’m stepping back a little,I’m realzsing everything I’ve been doing. I’m still here for my sister-in-law, but this weekend I’m support staff lol, not head caregiver while we try and forge ahead and try and find balance especially for me. Hospice is a weird thing, for most it is a few weeks as you say goodbye to your loved one, hopefully at home. I was prepared for that with SIL but I really didn’t ...

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The Many Faces and Ages of Caregiving

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Many times I think our society thinks  of caregivers as middle aged with aging parents or spouses .Although that is true there are many children and young adults who are thrown into caregiving roles. My kids who are now in their early 20’s have helped me care for my grandmother when she was alive and now my mom as well.They have over ten years of experience with medications, food prep,laundry care and companionship. Of course ...

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In Six Words, What Hope Would You Give a Burnt-Out Caregiver?

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You’re toast. Done. Fried. But you have to keep going because, well, you have to. To keep going you need hope–hope that days will get better, that you will be okay, that your future includes opportunities for you. Except when you’re burnt, you’re out of hope. In that case, you want to borrow hope from us. For that burnt-out family caregiver, what hope can you share? In six-words, give hope to a burnt-out family caregiver ...

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Save the Wait for the DMV

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We have a tendency to apply waiting lines in our life. Rather than walking up to the open window, we stand behind an invisible red line of our creation. We may wait to start a family until we have just the right house or the right amount in the bank. We may wait to join a gym until we lose weight. We may wait to change a job we hate until we have another set ...

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My Husband Has a New Girlfriend

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My husband has a new girlfriend. I was in the hardware store recently trying to get something to fix something which is about the best I can do to describe just about everything. Anyway a woman came to help me find whatever it was I was looking for and we started chatting. It turns out she’s a woman of many talents, one of which was to care for someone long term and another was working ...

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Caregiving in any Language is Universally the Same

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Our neighbor, Mr. D Amico, who lives about two houses  down is recently widowed for about seven months now. He keeps a lovely vegetable garden and shares his harvest with everyone. With his limited English (he speaks Italian, Spanish and Portuguese), he manages to have conversations with my young adult son. My other neighbor, Mr. C, who is also widowed, is the new playboy on the block. He frequents casinos and wears shorts every day and asks me when my pretty ...

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