Hello to all! It’s nice to be able to share my caregiving experience with others who understand or are looking for someone to understand what they are going through. Although I often feel so alone in my caregiving journey, I know I’m not. It’s hard to remember this every day. I found caregiving.com and found a place that I could talk with others about the good, the bad AND the ugly. So often, I find myself venting about a situation only to have to calm down and accept it, as is, often stepping back and excusing the situation, even if I don’t believe I should.

There are also days that I am so thankful for something someone did. I can tell them over and over how grateful I am but I just don’t think they really truly understand. Just holding the door open for me as I push my daughter in her wheelchair into the school is huge. Having a home to stay at on our numerous trips to the Hospital is amazing; lovingly and financially. I believe everyone is good and usually mean well but so many people really don’t know what it takes when you are caring for someone else, 24/7.

Thank you for giving me a space to share and also, welcome to others who are on their own caregiving journeys. Peace and Love, Kristen

So, I’d love to know: Which step will you take to feel better? Please share in our comments section, below.

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Anna shared a great example of what it’s like when we resist the reality of our today. It’s like how we may feel when we’ve gained weight, she said, and yet we don’t face the truth about our real weight.

When we accept our weight, then we accept our size, then we wear clothes that fit. That acceptance means we have a chance to be better because we accept who we are. And, when we accept, we can change. We can lose weight, incorporate exercise, make different food choices.

We all know what it feels like to be at a weight we don’t want. Because we don’t want our weight, we continue to wear clothes that don’t fit. We start each day in a battle with our closet because we can’t find anything to wear, simply because we refuse to own anything that actually fits. So, we squeeze into our past, feeling awkward and uncomfortable in our present, dreading what we face tomorrow.

It’s the same with caregiving. The experience gets harder and more intense. It’s important to adjust the amount of help, support and time off you receive as the experience grows bigger. If you still have the amount of help you needed when the experience was smaller, then you’ll be stuck in a place of exhaustion, resentment and anxiety. You’re not wearing the caregiving size that fits.

To make sure you stay right-sized in caregiving, Anna suggests picking a day each month to check in. You can ask yourself a question like, “What can I change or adjust or modify so that caregiving fits better today?”

As you accept today’s reality, be compassionate and gentle with yourself. Accepting with compassion means giving yourself the chance to feel good wearing the size that fits.

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If Caregiving.com were a house, I imagine it would look like this one. Hope to see you February 5!

We’re holding a Open House on Super Bowl Sunday. Stop by Caregiving.com throughout the day to enjoy a taste of what we typically offer throughout the month. Our Open House kicks off with a 15-minute meditation at Noon ET. Other free events include:

—Solitaire Showdown, from 1 p.m. ET to 3 p.m. ET: Visitors have two hours to top the Leader Board; high score at 3 p.m. ET wins $50. Visitors can practice here.

—Three Steps to Feeling Better, a 20-minute webinar, 1 p.m. ET: I’ll share three steps family caregivers can take to feel better about their caregiving role.

—Three-Word Journaling, a 30-minute teleclass, 2 p.m. ET: Journaling can be a wonderful stress-reducing exercise. Except if you buy a journal only to stare at its blank pages. Where to start? What to write? In this class, I’ll help you begin their journal by simply writing about three words.

—Your Caregiving Journey talk show, 4 p.m. ET: Bette and I will co-host this 30-minute Internet talk show. Listeners can call in to the live show and share their answers to this question, “How do you beat caregiving’s cabin fever?” The first caller will win a gift.

—#Carechat on Twitter, 8 p.m. ET: I’ll moderate a one-hour chat on Twitter. Family caregivers are invited to join in and talk about the best way to manage their caregiving stress.

In addition, anyone who cleans their caregiving closets can place a free 30-day ad to sell supplies and equipment you no longer need on SharingStore.com.

Super Sunday also starts a week-long event on Caregiving.com called We Break for Winter. Throughout the week of February 5, I’ll pose questions so you can reflect on what’s going well in your caregiving roles and what needs tweaking. Visitors will have chances to win daily prizes.

Be sure to mark your calendars!

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We discussed the importance of the “why” behind your goals. The goal you set must be important to you and offer you benefits. I also added that I like to focus on the “how” I reach my goal, that I’m very motivated by reaching a number. We ended our show with a conversation about whether or not to share your goals with others.

How do you stay motivated to achieve your goals? Please share your thoughts and experiences in our comments section, below.

Update: Our next show is tomorrow! I forgot that I scheduled a show with Anna Stookey, who keeps us in a good place emotionally. Join us tomorrow at 10:30 a.m. ET as we talk about how acceptance of our reality today can move us into a better tomorrow. You listen here.

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It’s irritating, uncomfortable and aggravating.

In the moment, it also seems unsolvable, like it will last forever. Like you will always be walking in your boots in the snow as your toe sticks out of your sock.

Of course, the hole in the sock can be a quick fix. You can sew the sock back together. Or, you can discard the socks and buy another pair.

Oh, if only the hole in your life could be fixed with needle and thread. Or a simple toss into the trash.

Closing your life’s hole does take a steady hand and a watchful eye. Be steady in your approach to solutions and help; don’t give up. And, be watchful of the state of your heart, welcoming support and love while letting go of bitterness and resentment so the hole doesn’t grow.

We can heal the hole in our life during our struggles. And, when we come out of our struggles, we’ll see that our holes heal to form our quilt of life, fastened by our threads of triumph. It will become the warmest quilt we’ll ever own.

Reminder: We’re solving your problems on our live call-in show, which airs tonight (January 24) at 7:30 p.m. ET. Do you have a caregiving worry or concern you can’t resolve? Call us tonight at (646) 652-4944 and we’ll help you find your answer. Listen to our live shows (or download the podcast for later listening) here.

Take Comfort: Our books, Take Comfort and Take Comfort, Too, can fill the hole in your heart. Buy them here.

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Between our two conversations, Kristin took a five-day break, provided through Mary’s Hospice benefits. And, the break did its trick for Kristin. She feels better and sounds it, too. She plans to take a five-day break every three months.

I’d love to know: When will you take your next break? And, how will you spend it? Please share in our comments section, below.

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Perhaps you look down because the weight of caregiving seems too heavy. Or, maybe you look down because it feels like your life is down there—going down the drain, flushing down the toilet. Or, you might be looking down because that seems to be the best way to prevent a fall.

When you can, look up. When you look up, you find fresh air. When you look up, you see the sun which shines and the stars which sparkle. When you look up, you can find your possibilities, your solutions, your future.

When you live in hopelessness, you look down.

When you trust your faith and yourself, you look up.

Look up—that’s where you’ll find your life.

Book Sale: Buy two of our caregiving books and get the second at 50% off. Use this coupon to buy “Good Morning, Sunny Reflections to Start Your Day” and “Take Time, A Journal and Journey Toward Happiness During an Unhappy Time.” Or, use the coupon to buy “Take Comfort” and “Take Comfort, Too.” It’s a great way to get twice the support! Buy here and use coupon code SECONDHALF305. This coupon is good through January 15.

Coming Up: Solitaire Showdown returns Sunday (January 15). High score at the end of our four-hour play-off wins $50. The showdown begins at 1 p.m. ET (Noon CT, 10 a.m. PT) and ends at 5 p.m. ET (4 p.m. CT, 2 p.m. PT). You can start practicing here.

Reminders: Our live call-in show airs tonight at 7:30 p.m. ET (6:30 p.m. CT, 4:30 p.m. PT). Call in and share your answer to our question: How can communities help prevent caregiver burn-out? First call wins!! Listen here.

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Kristin shared how she feels as a burnt-out family caregiver. And, it feels awful! I asked her how we can help her and she said, “Just this. Encourage me.” After you’ve had a chance to listen to the show, please feel free to share your words of encouragement for Kristin.

Updates: Our next talk show airs on Tuesday, January 7, at 7:30 p.m. ET. And, I have our question (inspired by our show with Kristin): How can our communities help prevent family caregiver burn-out? Call in and share your suggestions; first caller wins. You can listen here. And, we chat on Twitter tomorrow (January at 8 p.m. ET (7 p.m. CT, 5 p.m. PT) about your best caregiving tips. To join us, just go to tweetchat.com, sign in with your Twitter credentials and use our hashtag: carechat.

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So, I’d love to know, how and when will you give yourself a chance? Please share in our comments section, below.

Updates: Our next webinar will take place on Wednesday, January 25, at Noon ET (11 a.m. ET, 9 a.m. PT). I’ll offer cures for your cabin fever. Your Caregiving Journey airs today at 12:30 p.m. ET (11:30 a.m. CT, 9:30 a.m. PT); Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, tells us why it’s important to give thanks for the small things. And, Table Talk airs Saturday at 10 a.m. ET (9 a.m. CT, 7 a.m. PT); Kristin joins us to talk about being a burnt-out caregiver. You can listen to both shows (and download the podcasts for later listening) here.

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