In Six Words, What’s Your Unexpected Benefit?

Last week, I posted about an article in The New York Times about caregiving’s hidden benefits. Yesterday, I co-hosted a chat on Twitter that explored these benefits. (You can view the transcript of yesterday’s chat here.) All this talk has me wondering: What do you view as your unexpected benefit of caregiving? What’s changed for the better for you because of caregiving? What’s better about...

Marathon

Our Chicago Marathon took place on Sunday. On Tuesday night, I had a dream I ran, and finished, a marathon. I ran it in four hours, 50 minutes. I also ran it without having run more than three miles on any previous run. Today, I wonder: Was that really just a dream? Or, is that what we really do in life? Is it possible to accomplish so much without much training? Think of what you do every day. Think of what you...

What’s Going Well for You?

On Thursday, Ellen Rogin, joined me on Your Caregiving Journey. We spoke about the guilt we take on when a part (or parts) of our life go well. We feel guilty that for our success when others may be struggling. You can listen to our show via the player below. During our discussion, I shared an insight from Dr. Wayne Dyer: We don’t help those in poverty by keeping ourselves in a place of poverty. Meaning, we...

Tell Us: What’s the Smartest Thing You’ve Done?

Often, when I look back on my life, I think about the dumb things I’ve done. Ugh, I’ll think, that was so dumb! Once in awhile, my memory will give me a break and dwell on those actions or decisions which were quite smart. Thinking of those smart moments in my life gives me hope that my future will include more smart decisions. So, I’d love to know: What’s the smartest thing you’ve...

How Do You Define Success?

Yesterday, on Your Caregiving Journey, Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joined me for a discussion about success. Ellen discussed a definition of success that a friend recently shared with her: Success is using your gifts to solve a problem no one else can. Success means being a leader in your life by serving others and making a difference. It essence, you are a servant leader. Ellen differentiated gifts from...

What Will You Smile About Today?

This morning, on Your Caregiving Journey, Kathy joined me for Table Talk. You can listen to our show via the player below. You’ll love listening to Kathy, who shared her perspective on how to stay in a good place in her caregiving role. Her perspective helps her manage those tough moments and days. We spoke about Kathy’s post a few weeks ago, when she wrote: “We have reached the end of our going....

Making Friends

I’m happy to report that Days 2, 3 and 4 of Program went just as well and Robert even had the van transport (to and from!). He told me after his first day that he had met an “Eric” who was very nice and polite. On Day 2 Robert again told me he met an “Eric” in the van who also was nice and polite. I don’t know if there are two Erics or if, as Denise suggested, there is one...

Tell Us: What Fear Have You Conquered?

I think that caregiving can be one of life’s most fearful experiences. There’s so much to fear because it feels like there’s so much to lose: Your caree’s health, your health, your caree’s money, your money. It’s all very scary. Think back, though, to how you were before caregiving. Think about a fear you had. Do you still have that fear? Chances are, you’ve conquered it...

Setting the Stage for Future Gifts

We often talk about how the struggles of today lead to the blessings of tomorrow. It can be hard to believe this to be true. How can the todays full of sorrow create a good in the tomorrows? CBS’s “Sunday Morning” featured a segment this morning about a family’s tough time which turned into another family’s miracle, ten years later. You can read the story and view the video episode...

Does One Make a Difference?

Caregiving can be lonely. It’s often a responsibility you do alone. You’re often a solo act during personal care, during doctor appointments, during your caree’s difficult moments. And, when you’re a one-person act, it can be hard to see an impact. It’s even harder when, despite your best efforts, your caree’s disease process still takes its toll. Even worse: It can feel...

Tell Us: What’s Your Best Caregiving Decision (To Date)?

In a caregiving role, you make decisions daily. Some decisions seem rather simple (toast with cereal?) and others fall in the category of very series (Do I call the doctor?). Even worse, you may feel that these decisions—from the simple to the series—are made in solitude. It’s you. It all rests on you. So, today, we’ll talk together about caregiving decisions. And, today, I’d love to...

The Five Qualities of a Stellar Family Caregiver

On the radio this morning, I heard two DJs discuss the “five qualities of a stellar mom.” They are, as described in this article at PsychBlog: 1. A Strong Intuition 2. A Knack for Nurturing 3. The Ability to Keep Your Cool 4. A Willingness to Ask for Help 5. A Playful Attitude Of course, hearing about a list like this makes me wonder: What are the qualities of a stellar family caregiver? My list...

Tell Us: How Do You Describe Your Caregiving Role?

Yesterday, on Huffington Post, Eliezer Sobel wrote about how we use our time. He then related a story about recently reconnecting with a childhood acquaintance (he tormented her in the playground so you can’t really say they were friends). They exchanged updates; she visited his website which features his two published books. How accomplished you are, she wrote to him. I’m the greatest underachiever of...

Extreme Extremes

Fellow Caregivers – I hope this finds you all well; emotions balanced and your mood light. Are you strong in mind, body and spirit? Most days I am able to exist in these places; at least for some part of the day. As in most things, success is realized on some days more so than others. In reality, I doubt this differs much from the average Joe/Jane – BUT, I do feel like my extremes are, well, much...

Can You Be Successful in Your Caregiving Role?

I believe it’s important to encourage family caregivers to recognize and celebrate their successes as a caregiver. I often hear from family caregivers: How can I be successful if every decision I make seems to make my relative absolutely miserable? I’m reminded of conversation many years ago with Mirca Liberti, co-founder of Children of Aging Parents, Levittown, Pa.. During our discussion, Mirca made,...

Tell Us: What’s Your Caregiving Secret Sauce?

Image via Wikipedia I have a friend who regularly talks about Google’s “secret sauce,” i.e., the secret to the company’s initial success (the company used people, rather than technology, to populate its search directory). I think we all have a secret sauce. I think, in particular, family caregivers have a secret sauce. It may be so secret that you may be unaware of it. Your secret...

Six Words About Your Success

As a family caregiver, you may feel completely overwhelmed by loss, so much so that you think: Can this be a successful experience? Yes! We’ve come up with some words that show your success: Resilience: There are some days when getting out of bed is hard, it just doesn’t seem to be the best option. Wouldn’t it be great to hide under the covers for a few days? At times, you may be slow getting up, but you...