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Tag Archives: uncooperative caree

You’re Compliant with Your Caree’s Care Plan. Your Caree? Not So Much.


A few weeks ago during one of our daily chats, we wondered why a caree might be non-compliant. It’s such a good question that I promised to ask all of you for insights and suggestions. Why does a caree sometimes makes choices which makes a bad situation even worse? It can be frustrating when a treatment plan which can keep a caree as healthy as possible stays just that–a plan. It doesn’t become part of ...

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What Do You Do When Your Caree Won’t?


Last week, I presented at a conference for family caregivers in Oklahoma City. During my second presentation (“I’m Toast! Tips to Heal from Caregiving’s Difficult Emotions”), an attendee posed a question: My caree won’t follow doctor’s orders on diet and exercise. What do I do? Her frustration was such that she expressed anger and then sadness about the situation. She invites him to join her on her morning walks, she prepares healthy meals, she encourages ...

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Mom’s Secret Decoder Ring


It’s the only answer. Mom has to have a secret decoder ring somewhere. When I was younger, you could order a real working secret decoder ring on the back of comics and MAD Magazine .25 cents. No, you could not get the secrets codes to the United States weapons arsenal. Lately, Mom has been, for lack of a better way of putting it, keeping health related information from everyone. Think about it this way. She made ...

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Say What Again?


Partner and I worked over the weekend on a memo that I had hoped to fax today to the neurologist. This sort of thing takes a long time, with much back-and-forth and efforts to condense my partner’s detailed explanations into sentences that get to the main point. That in itself takes a good amount of negotiation. Our most recent draft reads as follows: [memo start] As of June 17, 2013, [partner’s name] has been on ...

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Not My Best Week


First, the short form.  I posted the following in last Tuesday’s New Member Chat: A good night’s sleep will set me right.  We’ve been through 8 hours in the ER (partner scratched the inside of her ear with her fingernail and panicked; didn’t want to wait to see GP), followed by a ride on the Dementia Express. Partner says the ER nurse is an undercover cop who wanted to arrest her because the salt she ...

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Beginning the Transition to More Help


A colleague recently asked me to lunch. “I want to pick your brain about my parents,” she said. I knew some of her parents’ history–they lived in a rural area on the East Coast. My friend lived in Chicago; her siblings, on the West Coast. I also knew her parents had been resisting help. I knew we were going to talk about how to get her parents to accept more help. And, we did. Her ...

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Is It Right If It Could Be Wrong?


On Tuesday morning, Anna Stookey joined me for our monthly chat on Your Caregiving Journey. On this show, we discussed this question: How do I make a decision that could be right for me but perhaps wrong for my caree? You can listen to our show via the player, below. (Note: You’ll hear that I wasn’t feeling well during our show–I’m better today–and we lost Anna at the end of the show because her phone ...

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To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn: The Darker Side of My Caregiving Journey


To everything there is a season. Twists and turns. Times when the bond between me and my loved one (my caree/wife) is deep and other times when it is constricted and vapid. Such has been the recent case. However, it’s been a pattern for a long time, exacerbated dramatically when I had no choice but to have her placed in a nursing home. She was extremely angry at me. I think she still is deep down. Besides having ...

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How Do You Motivate Your Caree?


Last night on Your Caregiving Journey, our panel of family caregivers joined me to discuss this question: Can you set goals for your caree? You can listen to the insights from Richard, Jane and ejourneys shared during our show via our player below. Our discussion moved from wondering if it’s possible to set to goals, to communicating about goals, to motivating your caree. We spoke about setting goals for appropriate behavior and to improve health. ...

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