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Thanks so much to all who commented with kind and supportive words to my last post. I’m feeling a little guilty for being inactive on the site, taking some support when I need it but not being around to give it back. Mom is having pain or discomfort in her lower abdomen these days. It feels to her like bladder pain, but it’s a constant ache rather than the burning pain typical of a UTI. ...

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Guess

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Caregiving seems to take all your best guesses. Will this treatment work? Will this equipment work? Will the wheelchair fit in the car? Will we make it to the bathroom in time? Will the doctor return our call today? Will they take good care of my caree? And, the worst: When will this end? How will this end? Will I be okay when this ends? It can feel like one big guessing game all tied ...

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In Six Words, What’s Been the Greatest Change to Your Life?

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Life changes because of caregiving. Sometimes it happens in an instant, sometimes it takes place over time. But, your life today is much different than the life you imagined for yourself and for your caree. In this six word story, I’d love to know what’s been the great change to your life. A six-word story about your change could look like this: I think twice about everything. Each day requires lots of planning. Please feel ...

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Webinar Follow-Up: What’s Your Next Experiment?

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Yesterday, in our free monthly webinar, I helped you start again after an ending. When you end a relationship, a bad habit, an unhealthy thought or a service provider which doesn’t help, you’re faced with starting again. In this webinar, “Beginning: Finding Your Next Step,” I help you begin. (Miss the live webinar? No worries–watch the archive, Beginning: Finding Your Next Step.) At the end of the webinar, I gave you permission to experiment as ...

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As Long as You Help, You Can Call Me Chopped Liver

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We all agree that It’s hard to care for a family member or friend. We all know that affordable, accessible and appropriate help can be difficult to find. We need help. About 40% of our U.S. adult population could use help. And, yet, I wonder what percentage actually receive help, either from their communities, their families, their employers. I just read an article this morning with a great headline, “We Are Not Caring for Our ...

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Know

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You just know. Which means others will ask, But how could you know? The questions put the doubt in your mind and in your heart. What if you’re wrong? What if you just don’t know? Who are you to know? Others will doubt because they can’t possibly know all you know. You know because you are there, you are learning, you are researching, you are listening, you are advocating, you are pushing for better. Because ...

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Poll: What’s Your Greatest Challenge Today?

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The challenge of a caregiving day is managing all the challenges of a caregiving day. I’d love for you to tell us which challenges you are facing today. Please select the challenges(s) you’re facing today in our poll, below. You can select as many as you’re facing. And, feel free to share your thoughts about your challenges in our comments section, below. Create your own user feedback survey

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Thud

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Sometimes the thud comes from your caree. Sometimes the thud come from you. Sometimes, the thud comes from both of you. A family member, scheduled to visit your caree, is a no-show. Thud. Your hearts fall. You so wish you could catch your caree’s heart and spare her the pain. The doctor delivers more bad news. Thud. Your hearts fall too far and too fast for either of you to catch. The home health aid ...

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Tell Us: What’s the Most Stressful Part of Your Day?

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Maybe it’s in the morning when the clock ticks as time both slows down and speeds us. You hurry to rush out the door but you can’t rush caregiving. Perhaps it’s at the end of the day when you’re tired but the To Do list is too long for sleep. Maybe it’s middle of the day when the weight of the responsibility seems heaviest. Perhaps it’s the middle of the night when caregiving calls. For ...

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Reflections on Caregiving Stress and Guilt

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Today I read @jen ’s post, “The System Is Beyond Broken.” So many things she said hit home. Even though it has been 9 months since my MIL died, I plugged into the emotion and frustration Jen expressed: red tape, waiting, limbo finding help that really helps financial worries back breaking transfers just plain stress overload….. I remember a day in particular I reached overload. I was fighting pneumonia and back spasms. I needed to find ...

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