Handling Stress

We all know how to handle stress: - eat, but not too much - sleep - exercise - follow a routine but be flexible - lean on others - pray - use the right tool for the problem (ok you might not know this one but it fits… trust me) - eat some chocolate I could’ve of used all of these today. It’s been a long week and an even longer day today. The week had been extended by multiple away soccer...

A Bad Day? Or, a Decline?

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Dr. Benjamin Mast joined me a for a terrific discussion. Dr. Mast is an Associate Professor and Vice Chair in the Department of Psychological & Brain Sciences and Associate Clinical Professor in Geriatric Medicine at the University of Louisville (Kentucky). You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. The inspiration for today’s show was a...

Managing Financial Angst

The markets go up and down and so does your stomach. You worry about your investments, your caree’s and then you worry about what makes sense for your investments. How do you manage your financial angst during turbulent times? This morning, on Your Caregiving Journey, Ellen Rogin, joined me to share suggestions on managing financial angst during turbulent times. You can listen to our show via the player at...

Tell Us: What Do You Take Too Seriously?

Heather begins her day the same way: Up at 5:30 a.m., shower, four bites of a granola bar, hair in a headband. Then, she dons the gloves, carefully and steadfastly placing each finger into the latex glove. She’s ready for the part of the day she dreads. She wakes her mom and begins the morning care. Her mom has intensive and extensive care needs, so morning care can take as long as 60 minutes. She guides...

Tell Us: What Do You Want?

Last night, I attended a workshop led by Dr. Ann Clancy. During her presentation, Ann shared her definition of worry. Worry, she said, is the habit of focusing on what you don’t want. And, then, the light went on for me. Of course, we worry because we think that what we don’t want to happen will do just that—happen. We spend so much time thinking about what we don’t want that we forget to...

Tell Us: What Makes You Nervous?

My post earlier this week about nerves struck a nerve with me. And, then after our talk show on worrying with Karol Ward, I really started thinking about nerves. Sometimes, in caregiving, you may fee like you wear kid gloves, walk on egg shells, tip-toe on a tight rope. And, at times, the gloves, eggs and tight-rope come into play because of nerves. How others, such as your caree, may react makes you nervous so you...

From Worrying to Trusting

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Karol Ward, author of Worried Sick: Break Free from Chronic Worry to Achieve Mental & Physical Health, joined me to talk about how we can move from worrying to trusting. You can listen to our show via the player, below. Kard, who cares for mom, explained the two categories of worry: Circumstantial (situations occur which lead to worry) and chronic (a learned state of...

Think 90%

This morning on Your Caregiving Journey, Holly, who cares for her husband, joined me for Table Talk. Today, we talked about planning for the future when the future seem so fuzzy. You can listen to our show via the player below. Holly offered a suggestion she learned in a leadership book by John Maxwell: Focus 5% of your thoughts on the past. Focus 5% of your thoughts on the future. Focus 90% of your thoughts on...

Have a Little Faith

Trying to make myself not worry last night was a little like telling a first grader to stop messing with her loose tooth.  Instantly, it becomes priority number one. Robert doesn’t worry about anything. He just says a quick prayer if he wants to beat me at cards or he wants it to stop raining. He just assumes things will work out because he prays for it to work out (or because he tells me when he’s out of...

What? Me Worry?

Dare I not worry?  Before you faint at the prospect of me, the best Worrier In The Californian Hemisphere (aka, “Witch”), turning over a new leaf and throwing worry out the window, I’m only talking for an evening.  Letting go for just a few hours.  I visited Robert today and he was doing just fine.  I mean, there wasn’t one thing wrong.  He wasn’t congested.  He didn’t have a fever.  He wasn’t...

Robert Has Moved!

Robert moved in to his new place today. I was very worried about the move (did I pick the right place for him? Will he like it? How will he adjust to having a roommate?). Robert was excited. He told everyone at his Old Home that he was moving, when he was moving and that there would be people his “own age there.” My husband and I arrived at breakfast to get Robert all packed up. Robert enjoyed a leisurely...

Feeling Fear? It’s Natural

I attended a meeting on Monday night about “unfear” led by Karlin Sloan. Karlin, a CEO, author and speaker, spoke about moving from fear as it relates to organizations and leaders. You’re a leader, too, because of your caregiving role. During her presentation, Karlin shared an interesting insight: When we experience change, we automatically experience fear. Have you been wondering why, as your...

What Do You Do So You Won’t Worry?

Last week, Sharon shared her plans to take a break from caregiving and enjoy a Saturday night about with friends. In her comment on our Here We Go! Happy Saturday, Sharon wrote: My goal is to not be thinking about caregiving at all or very little tonight. Thursday night I was also able to go away for awhile also, and I enjoyed it. I had caregiving in the back of my mind a lot of the time, however. I want to...

Where Matters, Too, When We Die

I think we all hope that we die when we’ve completed our Bucket List, so to speak. That we end just as our work here ends. An article in USA Today yesterday also says that it matters where we die. According to the article, “cancer patients who died in a hospital or intensive care unit suffered more physical and emotional distress than those who died at home with hospice services, according to study of...

Give a Caregiving Conundrum to our Council of Caregivers

It’s hard to feel good about so many decisions you face in your caregiving role. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a sounding board? A group of current and former family caregivers (as well as a few health care professionals) who can offer help as you face a decision? Our Council of Caregivers does that just that. Our Council can help you tackle decisions and worries relating to: Alzheimer’s Family...

Tell Us: What’s Your Best Caregiving Decision (To Date)?

In a caregiving role, you make decisions daily. Some decisions seem rather simple (toast with cereal?) and others fall in the category of very series (Do I call the doctor?). Even worse, you may feel that these decisions—from the simple to the series—are made in solitude. It’s you. It all rests on you. So, today, we’ll talk together about caregiving decisions. And, today, I’d love to...

How… Will You Be Stronger?

We often talk about a shortcoming that we want to improve or change. We may feel impatient, so work to gain more patience. We may feel we rush too much through our day, so want to slow down. We may feel we are quick to criticize, so commit to focusing on holding our tongue. Certainly, we can gain by working on our weaknesses. What if, though, we looked at our strengths and said: This is working really well for me....

How Do You Feel Safe?

A friend recounted the other day why she fell in love. “He made me feel safe,” she said. The relationships we love are the ones in which we feel safe, protected. We feel safe to be ourselves. We feel safe, knowing we have a partner who helps row the boat during difficult times and who wants us to be our best. Sometimes, we also form relationships with situation. And, so it is with caregiving. It’s...

Managing Worry When Worry Is Normal

Karol Ward, author of Worried Sick, re-joined us today on Your Caregiving Journey to share ideas on managing chronic worry. You can listen to our show via the player at the bottom of the post. In a caregiving situation, worry is as normal as those feelings of guilt, anger and resentment. Because of what caregiving is, you can’t help but worry. Karol describes worry as the way we get control over what we fear...

If… You Could Minimize a Worry, Which Would It Be?

Two weeks ago, Karol Ward joined us for our book club discussion of her book, “Worried Sick, Break Free from Chronic Worry to Achieve Mental and Physical Health.” During our discussion, I asked Karol: How does the worry about caregiving differ than other times you’ve worried? Karol spoke about the difficulty in making decisions on behalf of her mother as well as the worry involved in putting her...

Breaking Free from Chronic Worry

Today, on Your Caregiving Journey, we had our book club discussion. This month, we read “Worried Sick, Break Free from Chronic Worry to Achieve Mental and Physical Health” by Karol Ward. Karol joined us for our discussion, which you can listen to via the player at the bottom of the post. (You’ll remember Karol from last year’s special three-part series on shame.) Because I hope you will...

How Do We Manage Her Worry?

Dear Denise, My mother, who is 75-years-old, is in relatively good health for her age except she does have macular degeneration and a few other problems that occasionally flare up. She was the primary caregiver for my father who died one year ago. She has always been focused on health issues, with few other interests. My brother lives nearby and I live a few hours away. We want to “be there for her”,...