The Caregiving Years: Six stages to a Meaningful Journey

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The Caregiving Years
Stage 5

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My role is changing.

Who are you?

You've been a caregiver over a period of several years and have recently made a decision about your role as caregiver. Or, your care recipient's condition has taken a turn for the worse and you know his time is very limited.

As a result, you've changed your role--or are just about to.

Your Keyword: Allow

--Allow time to mourn and grieve;

--Allow remembrances to remain;

--Allow reflections of your experiences.

Your Purpose:

To walk with your care recipient during his last months and weeks, implementing his or her decisions about end-of-life care that you both discussed during Stage 1. This stage is about loving and feeling good about the shared journey. As you both feel the journey end, this is also a time to mourn and grieve. As you mourn, you might find yourself questioning what will be the next chapter in your life. You've been a caregiver for so long, how can you possibly do anything else?

As a "transitioning caregiver", what can you do?

1. Allow yourself time to mourn and grief.

A nursing home placement may have been as painful a loss as a death. Both experiences are tremendous losses--and need to be respected with time to process, and then heal, the emotions.

2. Remember your care recipient.

You don't have to give away clothes or remove pictures--until you want to. When family and friends seem hesitant to talk about your care recipient (they worry they will upset you), assure them that sharing memories, laughs and stories brings you great comfort.

3. Reflect back on your caregiving responsibilities and decisions with pride.

Find comfort in knowing that you did the best you could. You did your best, which is the very best you can hope to do.

4. Review your journal.

How are you different today than you were on the day you first started writing in your journal? How will you use this experience to enhance your future relationships?

Additional Information:

Meet a family caregiver in Stage 5; read a profile of Ann.

Resources that can help Stage 5 Caregivers

~ Stage 6 and Related Resources ~

~ Stage 1 and Related Resources ~ Stage 2 and Related Resources ~

~ Stage 3 and Related Resources ~ Stage 4 and Related Resources ~

Join Our Support Group for Family Caregivers in Transition (Your role is changing because of nursing home placement or your care recipient's terminal illness.)

Join Our Support Group for Family Caregivers Who Are Grieving

Buy The Caregiving Years, a handbook, and follow two family caregivers through the six stages.

Credit: Excerpted from The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey, a handbook for family caregivers by Denise M. Brown.

Note: I have provided The Caregiving Years to be used strictly as a guide. All situations vary. I encourage you to always consult your health care professionals to discuss your individual situation and the best course of action for you and your care recipient.

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