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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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Weekly Caregiver Tip (September 18, 2000)
Receiving help from family members By Denise M. Brown Each year, we survey web site visitors and Caregiving newsletter subscribers about their experiences as family caregivers. Each year, survey respondents tell us their three most difficult struggles are: 1. Finding affordable help. 2. Finding time to socialize with family member and friends. 3. Getting other family members to help. Getting other family members to help may be an ongoing challenge, but don't give up! As you work to receive more help from family and friends, also work on communicating your needs effectively. Be sure to tell family and friends specifically how they can help. Often, other family members want to help, but just don't understand how to. Some ideas: --Ask your brother to call your mother on a regular basis (but let him tell you what he can commit to. If it's only every-other-week for 15 minutes, then that's okay. Accepting his limitations will avoid disappointment--for your mother and for you.) --Ask your daughter to help out with grocery shopping every week. Let her know you'll fax or e-mail her a list of groceries that your and your husband need. --Ask your cousin to send your aunt a letter every week; explain to her how much your aunt looks forward to hearing from her. --Ask your sister to provide respite care two days a month--her choice of days. If she feels uncomfortable providing the care herself, then let her know that an agency can provide the service--and tell her how much the service costs. Let her pay for the service and let the agency know that she is financially responsible. Then, let her know how much it means to you that you know she support you. --Ask your son to research community options. Tell him you are looking for help to offset the costs of medications, provide transportation to the doctor and manage the insurance bills. Then, let him do the leg work for you. And, once you ask for help, be sure to receive, in whatever form it is delivered to you. Meaning, if someone completes a task or chore for you, and it's not the way you would have done it--but it's still done--let then it go. And, enjoy the time you have gained for yourself. That's the most important benefit of having others help you. |
The
Caregiving Years: Three Issues of Caregiving: Free!
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Publishing Co. 1996-2000 |
