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Weekly Caregiver Tip

(October 2, 2000)


Helping your care recipient feel helpful

By Denise M. Brown

Ten years, I worked for a social service organization in Hunterdon County, N.J. I managed several programs that assisted the county's elderly persons as well as their family caregivers. One of the programs, Volunteer Friendly Visitors, matched volunteers with homebound seniors; the volunteers would make at least one monthly visit to the senior.

I had two seniors, in particular, that were in great need of company. Gloria had been disabled for several years and resided with her daughter. Her life consisted mostly one one room--her bedroom--, her television and her phone. The other, Bernice, had recently moved in with her daughter because her chronic illness was too much for her to manage on her own. Both Gloria and Bernice felt uncomfortable living in someone else's home and felt it very important that they have a social life outside their families. This was the one way they could feel still independent.

Gloria would call me regularly to find out if I had found a volunteer for her. Finding volunteers these days is a struggle, I finally said. To which she immediately replied: Hey, my phone works! Why can't I volunteer to be a visitor, except I won't make home visits, I'll just make phone calls.

How could I argue with that?

So, Gloria became a volunteer to Bernice. Or, was it vice versa? After several days, the two became great friends--and felt great to be able to help another.

Gloria was very proud to be a volunteer in the program. The impact on her self-confidence is still something I remember today. If your care recipient suffers from a physicial disability, but still enjoys an active social life, then he or she might also be able to be a volunteer. Check with your house of worship and school district. Does your church or synagogue have home-bound seniors who would welcome regular phone calls? Does your school district have a phone program that checks on children home alone after school?

Social service programs are in great need of volunteers. And, homebound persons are in great need of being needed, of being helpful, of feeling independent of their disability or chronic illness. It's a win-win! 

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