Dad with Michigan fish about 1980.
Dad with Michigan fish about 1980.

I knew this day would come — specifically in October, because that’s a good time to fish a certain river that’s located about an hour from dad’s house. Dad’s been watching the river flows for two months, and he’s been waiting for the stocking news. The authorities (whomever they might be) stocked the river on Thursday last week. The river is high, but the flow has been even since Friday, and Monday is supposed to be sunny.

So dad is going fishing. Alone. This is my first opportunity to “let it go” when it applies to my father.

Dad packed the car late Sunday afternoon so he wouldn’t forget anything. He forgot a lot of things. He forgot his water, the Ensure in case he gets hungry or dizzy between meals, the fishing net, and the cell phone. This is the cell phone he wanted me to cancel last week. I refused to bring that issue up again, as I was happy that he remembered to take it. Well, at least I hope he remembers to take it. At the moment it’s on the kitchen table, where he has it plugged in to charge it.

He went to bed at 8:30, as he plans to get up before dawn to drive to the river. His last comment to me before he went to bed was that he would see how he felt in the morning. He assured me that if he didn’t feel up to it, he wouldn’t go.

I have a gut feeling he will go, because the river is near the cemetery where mom’s headstone is located. When Dad and I went to see her stone last month, we discovered they had placed it on the wrong plot. I think this whole fishing trip is a ruse to learn if the funeral home moved Mom’s headstone to the correct plot.

We’ll see (let it go, let it go, let it go…).

About Linda

Currently I'm writing a memoir about caregiving my mother with a focus on my late husband and how this caregiving affected our marriage. I am also an artist and I have changed my learning lately to more healthful endeavors in an effort to take care of me.


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I say Bravo to you. I know it must be exceedingly hard to let go, but what a gift you are giving to your Dad and yourself by allowing him to live his life to the fullest doing the things he enjoys.


Hi–We go through with my parents. They took a 2,000 mile trip last spring to visit my dad’s best friend and his cousin. Oh, did we worry about them driving so far! They made it safely and now we’re grateful they did. My dad’s best friend died just a few weeks ago. Thank goodness they had a chance to see him one last time. But, my dad got lost going to his poker game Friday night–only to a friend’s home about 20 minutes away. So hard to know when it’s good to let go and when we’re tipping into the… Read more »


That’s awesome!! So glad his trip was good.

What’s the next step with the funeral home and the headstone?