You almost don’t recognize who you’ve become: Disheveled, scattered and angry.
Oh, so angry. How quickly you now can lose your temper scares you.
As scary as it is, it makes sense you feel that anger. Your circumstances seem to give you new reasons every day to get mad. Another change in the doctor’s office that makes your caree’s appointments even more time-consuming. Another family function that happens without you or with you but without any help for you. Another day begins with you behind because the home health aide is late. Another day you do your best while wishing you could just get a break for the better that never seems to come. Another day without a good night’s sleep which means you bring yesterday’s exhaustion into today. Another day you feel guilty hoping for a different life.
But you don’t like the temper. You want to end the temper. Finding the energy it takes to pack it up and let it go just doesn’t seem to exist.
Perhaps an easier way to use the anger would be to get an anchor — a daily practice that connects you and steadies you. An anchor could center you when the circumstances unsettle you and then fan the anger flame. An anchor could bring you comfort and peace even as chaos swirls around you.
Your anchor could be your silent prayer, your sense of having our support surround you, your touch on a piece of jewelry which reminds you that you are loved.
Your anchor will keep you in place even when you don’t recognize your place in your life. Your anchor reflects the truth of your life that feels so hard to keep. In truth, you live fully because you so care so deeply. Your anchor keeps you in love.