#Goodbye Fear

I’ve been a caregiver to my husband for more than two decades. During that time I experienced almost every emotion imaginable. The one I became most acquainted with was fear. Fear became a constant companion and a relentless tormentor. As much as I would hate to admit it, at one point, early on in my caregiving journey, fear was in control.

I would often stay up past midnight searching for information and solutions to my husband’s condition. I was tired so I couldn’t make good choices about what I ate, and I was too tired to be active, and I was frustrated because I was tired, and I couldn’t sleep because I was filled with fear. This cycle continued for years.

Most of the people who knew me had no idea how exhausted I was at trying to be strong, and still manage my never ending list of responsibilities at home. On the outside I was brave and people were impressed by me, but inside I was falling completely apart.

So I signed up for a triathalon!

I decided I needed a team and a big distraction and a triathlon fit the bill. Except, I didn’t know how to swim, or run (unless someone was chasing me), or ride a bike for more than a couple of blocks. I joined Team In Training and they accepted me just as I was.

We trained 6 days a week for months. It was really tough work because I had never done anything like this before. I had a few wins a long the way. I still remember the time I ran an 8 minute mile, I was so proud. I remember riding my bike for 17 miles. I finished my bike ride about 45 minutes after everyone else, but I did it.

Almost every time we took our bikes out for a ride, I would run out of energy on a back road in the woods. The foliage was thick and I could hear all sorts of critters running around in the woods. I  wouldn’t have stopped if I wasn’t exhausted but I had no choice; I just couldn’t go on without a break. I would get off my bike to get a drink, and maybe take a bite of my energy bar. During those times, fear would come to visit me. After a few time, instead of falling apart, I started praying. I would take a deep breath, practice slowing down my heart rate and pray. While I was praying I could feel the presence of God with me and fear would leave every time.

I learned some valuable lessons on those back roads and through my brief experience as a triathlete.

  1. Fear is a Spirit
  2. Fear is a choice
  3. Fear and Faith can’t occupy the same space

There is a difference between fear and being afraid. Everyone gets afraid. Being afraid is often a temporary condition. Fear on the other hand comes to take up residence and to take over.  I refuse to live in fear.

I heard a song that was so amazing it is sung by Francesca Battistelli. It is called the Breakup Song. I hope it touches your heart like it touched mine…..Goodbye Fear, You Will Never be Welcome Here!

Copy and Paste the link below to watch the video on YouTube.
Lyrics
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Had as much of you as I can take
I’m so done, so over being afraid
I’ve gone through the motions
I’ve been back and forth
I know that you’re thinking you’ve heard this before
I don’t know how to say it
So I’m just gonna say it, yeah
Fear, you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you
Telling me what I’m not
Like you know me well guess what?
I know who I am
I know I’m strong
And I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here
Take a minute, let it settle in
You probably never saw it coming
Something’s gotta give so I give up you, oh
There’s no room for you here
Yeah, I’ve had enough
The “No Vacancy” sign on my heart is lit up
In case you didn’t hear it
Here it is again,
Oh, fear, you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you
Telling me what I’m not
Like you know me well guess what?
I know who I am
I know I’m strong
And I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here
Is there anybody out there just like me?
Anybody needing fear to leave?
If you don’t know how to say it
Sing along with me
Sing fear, you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you
Telling me what I’m not
Like you know me well guess what?
I know who I am
I know I’m strong, brave
And I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here
Whoa, goodbye, goodbye fear
Whoa, you will never be welcome here
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Denise
Admin

I am blown away by this post, Theresa! Good for you!! It’s so inspiring to hear how you faced your fears and did something so remarkable. I’ve long wanted to do a triathlon but fear gets in my way. 🙂

I’m so grateful you started blogging. Keep writing! It’s awesome to read about your experiences and insights.

Michelle
Member

Thank you for your inspiring post. I’d say a person who decides to compete in triathlons with no background in any of the sports is fierce.
It is great that you started praying in the woods.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
King James Version (KJV)

Aimee
Member

Hi Theresa. Thank you for sharing this empowering post! I love, love, love your spirit of perseverance. Rather than give up, you look within to see how you can learn and grow from life’s challenges. That’s what I try to do on a daily basis. Thanks again for this amazing post!
~Aimee

LeatherLady64
Member

As I was reading this post a song by Zach Williams came to mind “Fear is a Liar”