It’s been a bad week for you and your caree and, of course, it’s also the week of Thanksgiving and your turn to host. You’ve done your best to be organized, calm and grateful. But, you’re tired. And, feeling a little like toast.
Your burn-out seems to be contagious because you actually burnt the turkey. You were so distracted by taking care of caregiving, that you didn’t notice the smoke, the buzzing smoke alarm, the smell.
So, your guests arrive and immediately notice that your house sports the smell of a three-alarm fire. And, so the true blaze begins. “You’re doing too much,” they tell you. “You need to think about nursing home placement.”
It’s the worst Thanksgiving ever.
What to do?
A Cheat Sheet:
You Burn the Thanksgiving Turkey
1. Serve dinner—your plethora of sides are plentiful and delicious.
2. After dinner, call a family meeting.
3. Tell the family, “You’re right. I’m doing too much.”
4. Then start delegating.
5. To your sister-in-law: “You’re hosting Christmas. This year, I can only bring one side.”
6. To your brother: “You’re taking on home maintenance, including the mowing the grass and shoveling the snow.”
7. To your sister: “You’re chipping in $50 every month toward a cleaning service that I can use.”
8. To everyone: “You’re cleaning up after tonight’s dinner.”
9. And, then you close with: “Caring for (insert your caree’s name) is a priority. I believe in what I’m doing. What I’m doing is really important. I’m going to keep doing it. And, I’m soooo grateful to have your help. Thank you all so much.”
10. Relax in your favorite chair as the others clear the table, scrub the pots and pans, and load the dishwasher. Close your eyes for a minute to simply enjoy your moment. You just gave yourself the best Thanksgiving ever.