Happy New Year?  Heard that phrase a few times, but not much.  Missed my black-eyed peas for New Years Day and every other traditional meaning went out the window never to return.   My days were filled with caregiving.  Mom needed additional help after hurting her shoulder while dressing a couple of days before the New…

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This is probably the most difficult entry to write up until now.  I’ve done a lot of  thinking and soul-searching but could only come up with vague ideas that didn’t deal adequately with the gravity of the situation.   Basically, I stalled and  procrastinated up until now.  I just couldn’t write it.   I’ve also been in…

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Although it has been three plus years since Mom and her cat Callie Kitty moved in with me and over a year now since Mom has been gone, Callie has never adjusted. She continues to hide a lot, snarl at the other cats, get growlly and bitey with me and worse of all ignore the…

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I just saw this tweet on Twitter from an author of a caregiving book: #Caregivers can become socially isolated, but this may be self-imposed. Do you not want to burden others or trust others to provide help? I’ve written about our isolation and loneliness in the past. I’m often baffled at this idea that somehow…

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Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Allen and I are wrapping Christmas presents, enjoying a “Dad moment” as we remember the crazy shapes Ron would wrap presents in so no one could…

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A recent conversation with a friend who had recently lost a dear friend of theirs prompted me to ask myself, “Why can’t I do that…that easily?” The “that” was to talk about how their friend passed away in their arms only a year ago.  On my bookshelf is the start of my book, about all…

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It’s been awhile since I checked in…since Nov. after Mom’s birthday in fact.  It’s been quite a month. Soon after Nov. 15, I was suffering from sciatic pain and decided to see the doctor.  First I received a muscle relaxant. A temporary fix. I went back and received steroids which I couldn’t take after the…

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It has been 2.5 years since I have been here and posted. I don’t even know if anyone I used to “know” is still here  or if anyone remembers me but I have to talk to “someone” and anonymous faces are my best choice right now. I “left” because I found myself focusing on the…

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Over the years, I’ve regularly written that the assumption “family caregivers don’t self-identify” drives me nuts. (You can read my previous posts in our Commentary section.) Over the past few weeks, I’ve experienced more frustration because that belief is so widely shared and embraced. A new employee benefit company reached out to me to lead…

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It’s not often that a prerequisite for a career or a promotion is a personal caregiving experience. I think, though, that it should. Here’s why: We budget effectively, somehow making not quite enough be enough. We negotiate. We negotiate with our help, our caree’s providers and our carees. We negotiate so much that we naturally…

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Every Saturday after Thanksgiving we support the small businesses in our communities. “Small businesses help ensure local economies stay strong and vibrant,” says American Express which sponsors Small Business Saturday. Bakeries, boutiques and beauty salons comprise some of the small businesses in our communities. These are the business we typically look to support on a…

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It’s been four months. Exactly four months. The memory of that night will, I think, never fade. Bonnie and I walking into the house to see Ron sitting in his chair, sleeping. The call to 911. The house full of EMT’s and police. Bonnie’s phone call to her husband and her brother. My calls to my…

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How can I even describe what things are like now?  I struggle to find the words that even begin to approximate the surreal world of advanced dementia.  Not only is Mom increasingly anxious, fearful and angry , but she’s this way more and more of the time now.  I’ve seen a change over the past…

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I just read a comment on social media about the loneliness we face as we care for family members. The commentor shared that we are lonely because we spend so much time inside and that we must reach out through technology, like FaceTime. The mistaken assumption here is that our loneliness comes from our location…

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