I'm scared, frustrated, and mad
I'm Laurie. My husband was diagnosed with FTD about a year ago. Some days I think the dx was wrong and everything is okay and other days I just want to cry - why us? He is out now on LTD and SSID and I still work. The doctors has asked that he not drive, but he does. After a year of different medication trys, we are currently on Lexapro.
Last Thursday we went for our yearly "testing". It is so hard on both of us, but this time I think it was harder on me. They take Steve to one room for testing and me to another to complete about six pages of questions. When it came to the FTD questionnaire I broke down and cried. So much of it was more sever this year than last.
The kids and grandkids came home for the long weekend. They think I exaggerate and nothing is wrong with dad. UGH! "Everybody forgets now and then, Mom".
Today when I got home from school (I teach high school business classes at our local charter school), I could smell alcohol on his breathe. I asked him about it, and he said that he had had a beer earlier. The smell was pretty strong. I sure I believed him. You ask, "where did he get if from?". The answer is, he is still driving to the local grocery store about 5 miles down the road. You might say, "well one beer nothing". It is if he has never been a drinker. Maybe a social drinker every once in a while. Maybe one a month if that. The sugar cravings have gotten worst and he is now hiding things (or he thinks he is hiding them).
I know he has to be as frustrated as I am. Neither one of this had this in our retirement plans.
Thanks for listening,
I'm so glad you posted!
We have a weekly chat on Mondays and Saturdays at 7 p.m. ET for those who care for a family member with FTD. Just click the orange chat bubble and then click on the FTD chatroom.
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Please know we are here to support you because this is such a scary, frustrating and overwhelming time. Join the chats, keep writing and let us know how you're doing.
Hi Laurie. I hear you loud and clear because we deal with similar feelings. It's a confounding disease. My husband also uses alcohol to self-medicate. He's fairly high functioning, but lost his ability to focus enough to work, suffers from strong apathy and anxiety, loss of empathy, has episodes of poor judgement and manic-depression, etc., some of which is off and on again and confuses the heck out of me. Thank goodness medication has given him back some quality of life. Even though it feels like it, you aren't alone. I wish you the support you need.