10 Ways Your Headline About My Caregiving Experience Grates on My Nerves

Denise

10 Ways Your Headline About My Caregiving Experience Grates on My Nerves

Denise
phone-1742833_6409 Smart Ways to Pay for Assisted Living

7 Signs Your Aging Parent May Need Home Care

10 Ways to Deal with Caregiver Stress

5 Ways Caregivers Can Care for Themselves, Too

Ah, the headlines about my caregiving experience seem to signal that hiring home care, making a transition to assisted living and taking care of myself can be broken down into five or seven or 10 easy steps. Solving my caregiving problems can be accomplished by simply reading a five-minute article.

Don't get me wrong. I love the the step-by-step guides and have written quite a few caregiving lists.

My beef with many lists, though, is they don't speak to the complexity of the caregiving experience. Most lists seem to gloss over the reality we experience. For instance, in lists about when it's time for assisted living, I don't see mention of an aging parent completely stressed about his wife's health declines and his inability to manage at home in the house. That stress led to a unmanageable combination of constipation and incontinence (I didn't know they could go together, either, until I experienced it) which led to assisted living placement. I also don't see mention in those articles that you'll have to deal with septic issues as a result of the constipation and incontinence and be cleaning up for almost a week. But maybe that's just me. (Read "Hello Ladies. I'm Checking In.)

Sometimes, I just don't find a headline that represents my experience. I have yet to see a headline that speaks to my self-care during particularly exhausting times, like "10 Ways a Law and Order Marathon Cures Your Caregiving Compassion Fatigue." When I'm exhausted, self-care is the couch. It's not a mani/pedi or a phone call with a friend. My reality is I can make it to the couch and hold the remote for a minute. That's it.

And, sure I'm aware of the signs that my parents need a personal emergency response system (think "I'm fallen and can't get up"). My parents' denial about aging and declines and death means they dismissed the suggestion to have one. So, where's the "Seven Ways to Decrease the Time Warp Between Your Parents' Denial and Reality"?

I'm open to suggestions. I just close down when your suggestions minimize the enormity of my challenges, my family's dysfunction and my day's limits. In order to be relevant to me, you have to speak to my struggles.

How about you? What headlines make you cringe or groan? Share in our comments section, below.

Like this article? Share on social

6 Comments

Sign in to comment

BeccaB

Denial / reality time warp -- SO true!

Desiree

I'm pretty sure that this stuff is written by people who have no experience and no clue about any of it. If they did, they likely wouldn't be writing it. They are paid to write advertisements that are thinly veiled as helpful articles. The ones I've seen always, always have a pitch in there somewhere, for some product or service to magically make it all sooo much easier and better. Just sign here, and cough up the dough.\r\nUgh.

Elphaba

Exactly my thoughts. A person writing one article about caregiving stress does not an expert make. ;)

Denise

Exactly!!!

Denise

Hi--It's the Buzzfeed impact: http://www.wired.co.uk/article/buzzfeed. These headlines are written to be shared. People share lists. My concern is that the content is not necessarily helpful or appropriate. Wouldn't it be better to focus on creating helpful, relatable, authentic content that try to manufacture a headline that's solely created to get shared? We're all in tough spots here, often caring for family caregivers who are dying. Headlines like that really don't speak to the experience.