2018 bring it on! I would share a few memories of the past year in chronological order with cute comments and such but I simply cannot remember 2017 in that way at all.
It was a full year and I know it lasted twelve months and that those months were full from the beginning to the end. I know I had moments when I did not have a clue how we were going to get through to the next year and I know I had moments when I felt strong and ready to face the future with courage.
I know I learned that so many people love and care for Robert and I that it is exceptionally humbling and I know that I let go of some relationships as I wish they would be and learned to accept them as they are and that I am not mad about it. I know 2017 brought me in touch with caregivers from all over the United States and some from Canada and other countries. I found a family through the miracle of chat rooms and am forming bonds that are deep and true with people who, like myself, need to be heard and understood in the caregiving role. I know that I am part of a church family who walk their talk and who challenge me to step out of status quo and complacency and live my life in the fullness of my relationship with a living Christ. I know that I have learned to ask for help and to allow people to get closer into my life than I have ever allowed.
I know that I have friends and acquaintances who are suffering tonight and who will continue to suffer from the disease of alcoholism and addiction and I love them and I pray for them. I know that God has done for me what I cannot do for myself time after time after time in 2017 and I know that He will continue to be my champion and my Father in 2018. I pray my life will show the fruits of that relationship more and more and more. I know that I will have moments that I feel I cannot bear in the coming year and I know that I will have victories that I cannot imagine. I am 66 years old and I am proud to be 66 years old. If I stay sober I will be 34 years sober on January 12 of 2018. It seems only yesterday that I began the journey of sobriety.
I am eternally grateful to my friends who have been with me and helped me to learn how to live in a new life, free of drugs and alcohol. My heart is full of the blessings. Blessings! Blessings! My God has blessed me and is blessing me right now. If you do not hear anything else I have to say please hear this: My God is an awesome God and He is blessing me and blessing me and blessing me. When you see me, don't look at the struggle. Look past it and see the power of prayer, loving friends, amazing tender mercies and grace, grace, grace pouring over me. My reality is in that grace and that peace that passes all understanding. Anything else is temporary and it will pass. Robert and I are on a journey together that challenges both of us to the edge of what we can bear and at that edge we step out and are blessed, carried and loved! 2018, bring it on!
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