55 Miles an Hour and then Bam!


55 Miles an Hour and then Bam!

yellow_flagMy Grandma, Elly, has always been a "worker bee". She never chose to drive a car but could pilot you around town, California, or across the country to SE Canada. This week, Elly has been pushing along with her swollen legs and we've seen improvement as they have gone down to normal. The pain still tarries in those scarred legs but now she doesn't say much other than, "I don't have any starch left". So, I feel like we've gone from 55 miles an hour, pretty good for 93 years old, to maybe five miles or less a day.

At Friday's check up with the doctor we learned her kidneys were at 18% function from the test a week ago. Her main complaint was leg pain, itching and rash still on her arms and legs. Since we got home from the doctor appointment on Friday she's been lying down. She has taken very little food or drink. She only drank about 6 oz of tonic water with lime which gave her a 30 minute boost to sit up in her chair. On Saturday, she slept on the couch all morning refused tonic water, then had a little soup and slept in her bed until Sunday morning. She got up very few times that I know of.

My in-laws were here for dinner Saturday and they kept begging me to check on her. AH and I explained that Elly is a very private person and we respect that. If she has passed, then we will deal with that but unless she cries out or presses her Life Alert, she really wants to be by herself. It was hard for them to understand but they accepted that. This philosophy does go against what our hearts say to do as caregivers but this is how our Grandma wants to live. I won't cajole or nag. I did offer some soft scrambled egg and applesauce this morning (Sunday) so Elly did eat a little so far. She felt like eating some lunch at about 2 p.m. Her fluid intake is still pretty low.

My next step is to go to visit the doctor's office and give an update on Elly and ask when Hospice Care would be appropriate. We want to keep her comfortable but she isn't receiving my attempts at this point. This could be just temporary or the way things will go till the end. We are doing well so far.

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EG, I echo what everyone else has said. Kudos to you and AH for following Elly's lead, and to your in-laws for deferring to you. It's a roller coaster ride for sure, and you are securely strapped into the seat. I'm very glad Elly's been feeling better. (((Hugs)))


I will help share bravery when you get there, just let me know! Bravery, for me, comes from prior experiences that God has walked me through. Thank you!


Hi EG. How strong you are to be able to withstand the exterior and interior pressure of trying to \"help\". It can be so hard to respect the privacy and wishes of our loved ones when we want to jump right in and make things better (maybe for us?). Elly is so blessed to have you in her life. I hope I can be as strong. Hugs to you.


Oh, EG, I think you are doing all the right things. I love how you let Elly's perspective guide you now. It's a gift when we can leave our life as we lived it. And, I'm so glad you will ask about Hospice.\r\n\r\nThanks so much for keeping us posted. Let us know what happens when you stop by the doctor's office.