A Dream


A Dream

retreat_02"Wouldn't it be great if there were such a thing as a caregiver retreat? Carees go one way and family caregivers go another. There are many complications and details that would need to be worked out. Wouldn't it be great if family caregivers could get away with other family caregivers for a weekend of encouragement, insight, relaxation and fun? Of course there would need to be willing, able and compassionate volunteers to step in and care for the carees. There could also be some joint activities for the family caregiver and caree. Nice dream."

Wow, I am reflecting on this dream that I had almost one year ago to the day.  I came on here to blog about something else and saw this draft from last year on a topic I did not finish and put on a back-burner. This dream is still a dream, but interrupted by my dream of becoming and R.N. Six more months, this dream will be realized, but getting there is difficult. Made more difficult with caring for Mom.

I just typed a whole story that disappeared with a click. What a terrible day! Nothing is going right. Nothing is going as planned. I have been looking forward to today for the last month. In my therapy sessions, we decided that I needed more breaks. I met with a nurse and a social worker from an agency several weeks ago to begin a respite for four hours every Saturday. Today rolled around, noon rolled around, no care-giver. I put in a call and received a call back a couple of hours later from an admin. The admin said there is no schedule for my Mom. When she talked to the nurse, the nurse said the social worker said they cannot service one shift per week!? I knew there was a three-hour limit per shift, but as far as more than one shift per week requirement, thanks for telling me. No one said anything!

So I feel my needs are not met. I am sorry, I thought they existed for family caregiver/caree needs? I was not aware that I had to meet their time needs and if four hours a week wasn't enough, why didn't they tell me.

So I am tired. I am disappointed. I feel abandoned. I was so excited for today that I cried over it. Mom was up all night yelling as she sometimes does, "Why are you locking me up? Hello, I said why are you locking me up!?" which makes everything worse. Sleep deprivation exacerbates everything.

The home health agency lost a customer. I never heard of such a limit. God stepped in and one of my neighbors stopped to invite us to a party tomorrow.  I suppose I will be over my disappointment by then.  She also suggested I could take my mom to her place for a couple of hours while I do what I need to do! Thank you, God!

Back to square one, though, and finding a caregiver for Saturdays. The sooner I get through school and make the R.N. dream happen, the sooner I get to work on the dream of a caregiver retreat and can get more of my life back!

Anyone interested?

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How incredibly frustrating! I can't understand why they didn't tell you about their requirements upfront. Hang in there. You're in the home stretch school-wise. I completed my degree last year and I know how tough it is to find the time to study. But you're doing it! :)


Oh Jenn, how horrible, no one showing up. I wish I could send you our back-up caregiver, she was heaven sent.... I hope that individual will show up for you one of these days soon. Kudos to your neighbor. You constantly amaze me as you just keep plowing through your life, taking on the challenges of your mom and school. Kudo to YOU!


I totally agree with you Jenn! A caregivers retreat I feel should be mandatory in a perfect and fair world! It sounds like sheer bliss to me because I often find myself talking loudly to myself and when I mentioned it to Mom's Geriatric specialist - he said \"That's just a sign of total, out of control stress. You need some regular breaks.\" \nYup, great diagnoses Dr but there simply IS no one else to leave Mom with.\" (I mumbled to myself.)\nThis surely has to be THE most stressful job of any of the illnesses out there..... (with humble apologies to someone who is caring for physically ill loved one's.) \n\nxoxo


I like your idea of a retreat Jenn, yes, even if it was on the same property but separating the Carees from the Caregivers! Keep up the dream. I have shared my dream about hotels offering empty rooms to caregivers to get away for 24-48 hours!! One of the agencies I contacted for respite gave me a two hour minimum but I only needed one hour and because of that Elly shooed them away because she didn't want them with her for 2 hours - AND Elly said the caregiver brought her daughter who had attitude - I am not sure if they really did but sure makes it difficult to trust the agency!!! Here's to you Jenn, the Future RN!! Hoorah!!

Anthony Zullo

I agree

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