A Nice Time

Mamadanz

A Nice Time

Mamadanz
This past weekend was a busy one for me. Saturday was the high school band national championships at MetLife Stadium. I've been helping my youngest daughter out with her color guard (doing hair for the kids, making flags and other pieces for the show) so naturally it was where I wanted to be to support both her and her students.

But hubby and I also were invited to the wedding of a couple from the church. He attended the ceremony and then I would meet him at the reception (when the competition was over). I let him drive my car over there (and yes, prayed the whole time that he wouldn't have an accident). Shortly before we got back to my daughter's car at the high school, he phoned me to ask where I was and that cocktail hour was over and they would be heading to the main hall for the meal. I told him where on the highway we were and he seemed glad and said he'd see me in about a half hour or so.

When I arrived, I went up to the hall and greeted the bride and groom. Hubby had literally jumped out of his chair to meet me. A little bit of a surprise to be sure since most of the time he is surly and argumentative. Once we sat down and I had greeted the rest of our table, he pointed out my champagne and then two glasses of wine--white and red. "I got you one of each because I didn't know which you might want" he said to me. (Because of his health/medications, he no longer can drink alcoholic beverages.) It was a sweet gesture and I did thank him.

The DJ was good and played a wide variety of music from the 60's all the way to contemporary stuff and it was a dancing crowd!

I should probably say here that I am a trained dancer. I majored in dance in college and after graduation I did the whole audition circuit in NYC. I had a successful audition for the Rockettes (among others) but there were no openings on the line at my height, so I was "on file" until a motor vehicle accident wrecked my knee and took me out of dancing professionally (intensely). An ankle injury in 2008 (with two subsequent surgeries) has also made it harder for me to dance as I'd like. But the dance is inside me and when the music moves me, I can't help but to move (sitting, standing, whatever).

Thankfully, I married a man who loved to dance. He didn't dance like I was trained but he could ballroom dance (we had a marvelous Viennese Waltz and cha-cha) and he would happily jive us around the dance floor. Going to events and out was always fun because we would be the ones others watched dancing and we never sat still.

But since his health declines, going out--and especially dancing--doesn't happen a lot anymore, if at all.

So Saturday night, I contented myself with watching others and enjoying the music and dancing inside myself (and maybe bouncing "just" a little).

Then a slow song came on and he asked me to dance. I was concerned he might fall (he's been doing more of that lately) but I said OK and he took me out on the dance floor. It wasn't a showy dance at all but he took me in his arms and we swayed on the dance floor. And it wasn't just once; he asked me to dance multiple times. And we did.

And at one point, held in his arms, cheek to cheek, moving to the music, I thought how much I missed that (all of it). And I wondered to myself: How many more times I might have the chance to do this again with him or to have a touching/loving evening with him? And I cried. And I wondered when our children finally find their true loves and marry: Will I even have him at my side (let alone to dance with) to celebrate or will he be able to dance with any of them? And I cried. Not big sobs but the tears slipped out and I had to dab quickly so no one would see because at that place and at that time no one would understand.

But I knew I could come here and most of you would understand. And it makes it all right.

dancing


"I Hope You Dance" (LeeAnn Womack)    



I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

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8 Comments

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Louise Sullivan

Brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful that you got to share that moment.

TiredButDetermined

What a beautiful memory! Your story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing it.

Goldie

Can you once in awhile turn on some music at home and dance? All by yourselves? I'm so glad you had this night and, even if it makes you miss it all the more, what a wonderful memory to have tucked away in your heart.

Jean

Mamadanz, your post brought tears to my eyes. And your evening -- \"bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, bittersweet\". It also brought a smile thinking of you both on the dance floor. Thank you for sharing your intimate moments and thought. And the poem, perfect.

Michelle

Reading your piece, I was reminded of my husbands before his stroke. He walked with two canes due to a spinal surgery in 1991, but now and then when we were somewhere with dancing he would ask me to dance. We would watch the jaws drop when he put down one cane as we walked out onto the floor for a dance, The last time was also at the wedding of a friend. I wish I had a picture of that last dance. Yes, I understand and I cried too.

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