A Sibling Blessing: She Makes Me Look Good


A Sibling Blessing: She Makes Me Look Good

puzzle-75659_640My parents have put action behind their decisions. Their house went on the market in mid-May. They move from the retirement community to their own apartment on June 10.

My parents and I continue our parallel paths. As they plan for their future, I work on mine, focusing on my work and my loose ends. I'm taking advantage of the ease of their lives in the retirement community because I know life will become more complicated for all of us once they move.

With the knowledge that I will need to do more later, I've been doing less now. And, I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit guilty that I've shifted priorities so that my parents are not the first priority.

The guilt eased on Monday, though.

My younger sister, her husband and I spent a few hours on Monday (Memorial Day) helping my parents clean out some closets in the house. As my sister and I chatted with my mom, my mom updated us on Sibling, my oldest sibling who no longer helps even though she lives five minutes from their apartment and five minutes from their house. My mom still calls to ask Sibling for help, much to the confusion of my younger sister and I. Recently, my mom called and asked Sibling to help her for a few hours clearing out a closet in the house. Sibling refused. My mom then offered her a carpet cleaner, which they no longer need. "I don't want it because I don't have time for that," Sibling replied.

Ah, the unexpected blessing of a sibling who won't help. Maybe I'm not helping as much as I did a few months ago but I still help. I'm not feeling so guilty about the quantity of my help any more.

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Interesting to read as I have a younger sibling who lives with Mom and Dad and is no help when they need it. My brother has a wife and his mother in law in his house and is about 30 minutes away. I moved with my wife and our furbabies to Houston about 4 and a half hours away.She would not even bring mom water when she was home from the hospital the last time. I so wish I was close to them again.


Isn't it interesting the high standards we set for ourselves and the guilt we place upon ourselves when we don't think we live up to those standards. You by far exceed the standards of a loving, helpful, thoughtful daughter even when by your rule you are slacking off. Your parents are extremely lucky to have you in their lives, in whatever capacity you are able to help. I'm so glad you have the contrast of Sibling to bring your \"guilt\" back to normal. If only all our elderly could have someone like you to advocate and love them. Keep up the good work Denise.


Do you remember that commercial decades ago - I think it was for the military - and it said we do more by 10 am than some do all day. That's you Denise! No guilt!

Lillie Fuller