A Caregiving Comfort: Fault

Denise
zion-park-139012_640It can feel like it's all your fault.

Maybe you feel it's your fault because you didn't notice your caree's symptoms right away. Or, maybe you noticed the symptoms but didn't act on them as quickly as you now think you should have. Or maybe you worry that your past behavior is to blame for what's happening in the present.

It has to be someone's fault so it's hard not to blame yourself. All the bad news and trying times and anxious moments must be the result of something. It couldn't just happen because how could what you and your caree endure just happen?

Or, maybe someone too weak to take responsibility cast the blame on you. And, in your weak moment, you took it.

Because you decide it's your fault you begin to live in fear, which puts you on a fault. You worry that you'll cause the big one which will crumble your lives even further.

The true fault is blaming yourself. Sure, be accountable to today. But, don't put yourself at fault for what happened yesterday or last year or 20 years ago.

When you keep the fault and take the blame, you stay victim to guilt. When guilt leads and you follow, you make decisions to try to correct yesteryear rather than make choices that benefit today.

When you bow to guilt, you believe you don't deserve, a thought that spreads like the worst kind of virus. You'll keep support at bay, you'll keep help away and you'll keep to yourself. Punishing yourself is the worst kind of loneliness to endure.

Rather than living on the fault line, choose to walk in faith. When you walk faithfully, you let go of assigning fault, which brings you back to life. Interestingly enough, fault takes away life. Allowing your life gives you life.

This may not be the life you want or would choose. It is, however, your life to make the most of. Allow life to unfold and happen. Although allowing lets in pain it also makes room for joy.

You deserve joy, too.

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