Aftermath and Adjustments

After my brother passed away on December 2nd, both Mom and I got sick. In addition, Mom had a couple of small strokes. I can tell that her short-term memory is worse.

Her kidneys have gotten worse, but the renal specialist scheduled her for tests preparatory for dialysis without telling her what it was. I should have asked exactly what her lab results were before he scheduled this, but I just didn’t think of it.

She is also having a lot of pain in her left hand due to carpal tunnel syndrome. It makes it very difficult for her to get into and out of her wheelchair or to use the bathroom independently. So I am trying to see if we can’t get her hand operated on very, very soon. . . .more doctors’ appointments. Her GP really put her off when she asked about this, so I am pushing it through. I can see how much pain she is in and I want her to have a better quality of life no matter how long that may or may not be.

In the meantime, I have someone coming in to stay with my mom during the day, but once again, it means leaving work on the dot and rushing home. I did not get my brother’s death certificates for almost a month, so I have been dealing with closing/settling his accounts for the past couple of weeks.

More and more, I feel torn. Since my brother had his stroke, I have really been unable to give the same level of commitment to my job that I did before. It’s getting harder and harder. So I am seriously considering early retirement. I am tired all of the time and I would like to be able to take better care of my mom and myself.

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