All Aboard the Love Boat

jan

All Aboard the Love Boat

jan
swan-200461_640Two weeks into our northern stay and Mom is sleeping through the night without waking me up, without re-packing her suitcase, and without sleeping pills or a gin and tonic (for me or for her). Success there!

This Activity Director on the Love Boat, however, is re-evaluating expectations (did I really have some?) and other caregiving advice (not this website). Two days ago I took Mom on three neighborhood walks, watched a movie on TV, took her to have her hair done, played games, went shopping. And still she says she's sad and wants to go home.

I hired a caregiver for her to have a new interesting companion. Mom said she "was not going to do it." I had the strangest sensation the caregiver was disapproving of me, that I wasn't treating my Mom well enough, that I was somehow disrespectful or belittling.

I read an article on ways to get dementia patients to eat better. "Is the tablecloth too busy? Is the food too bland-looking? Is there no distinction between the food and the tablecloth?" REALLY? I'm overwhelmed with the minutia of trying to make her happy, keep her dignity. "Just let her wash the dishes. So what if you have to do them all over again when she's done." So what if we all get sick? I don't think so. Since when did having one disabled person have to control an entire household?

This morning I changed from being the Activity Director on the Love Boat to a passenger, when my mother walked in on my husband and I in bed. She came right in and sat on the edge of the bed like nothing was happening, and asked "if the government had shut down."

Bless my husband's soul, he just laughed and said it was just like when we were back dating.

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