Am I Ready For This?


Am I Ready For This?

always takes the time to visit with me as well to see how I’m doing. I mentioned joining and she was very happy to hear that I have an outlet for the frustrations and fears and anger – and that everyone on the site can relate.

As I expected, Richard’s heart, lungs, pulse, pressure are perfect. She says she can see him deteriorating each week, but not rapidly and we both realize that this can go on for months more. She and I actually spoke today about catheters and diapers. Wow! With all my talk about his denial and his family’s denial, I guess I’ve had some denial too. I never pictured myself changing my husband’s diaper. What a bizarre image! I think if/when it comes to him needing diapers, he’s going to be devastated. And me, am I strong enough to do that? I’m not talking physically – I’ve lifted heavier bags of cement than what he weighs, when we re-built our fence after Hurricane Wilma. She left a package with me today – diapers, not cement. Don’t need them yet, but I expect we will before long.

For a graphic artist who’s always had trouble even removing a splinter, I’ve gotten real good at changing bandages on his lesion, sponge baths, administering medicine, dumping/cleaning urinals and bedside commodes... But a diaper for my husband? Yikes! I hope I can handle that!

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As a new member I'm just a little overwhelmed with the help, love and concern in this community. My husband fell in the kitchen over 2 years ago and broke his neck. I was still working at the time and it was a struggle getting to the hospital and then therapy and in house care, but he's making remarkable recovery and can do many things for himself that he couldn't at first. He has not and may not fully recover, but I feel blessed that he has come so far. Still it's hard sometimes when I get so little rest and just need a little time for myself. Thanks for the inspiring chats.

Casandra Porter

It seems scary now but just as you've gotten used to everything else that taking care of your husband involves, you will get used to that. I hate using that phrase \"getting used to\" but you know what I mean, more like you'll adapt to having to take on the responsibility of it. There was a very small period during the early stages of Marc's illness where I had to do it for him while he recovered and it was so weird. But I never said I couldn't or wouldn't do it, I just did what I had to. When the time comes, I am sure you will do the same. \r\n\r\nWishing you much love!


Thanks Trish. I'm not there yet. So far he can still use a portable urinal (and a bedside commode about once a week.) Today was the first time catheters and diapers was brought up and it kind of threw me for a loop, as they say. When the time comes, I don't know how it will go with Richard. When he first started dropping all the weight, he didn't even want me to see him naked. He's gotten over that. And since he won't vocalize his thoughts about his condition, we'll see how this progresses. I thank you for your offer of answering any questions. I'll probably take you up on that when it happens.


Hi Debbie--First, I am so glad you like the Hospice nurse. It must be sooo helpful to have someone you trust and respect involved in Richard's care.\r\n\r\nAnd... It's hard to be ready for the next step. I wanted to let you know that we have members that can help and offer suggestions - <a href='' rel=\"nofollow\">@kathy</a> and <a href='' rel=\"nofollow\">@trish</a> are awesome and very willing to share tips that can help. You don't have to be ready by yourself. :)