An Update

Casandra Porter

An Update

Casandra Porter
FogWe have been trying very hard to stay calm, cool and collected since Marc's recent release from the hospital. For the most part, I think we both are having a pretty rough time of it.

Before leaving the hospital, we got a couple of scares which turned out to be nothing, thank goodness, but nonetheless, it has us both on edge and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Marc' s being a trooper, as usual. But I've noticed a considerable change in his attitude and just his general demeanor. Nothing bad. He is just very hands-y, always wants to be close, constantly tells me he loves me, and even told me that he was in awe of me and everything I do for him and he was proud to have me as his wife and glad I was by his side during that very complicated week and hospital stay. He told me he was nervous when he finally did come to and I wasn't there (to which I showed up minutes afterward, I'd left to grab a coffee). I asked him why he was so nervous. He said he thought I had left him. I said, yeah right, after all the work I've done to keep him alive he's not gonna get off that easily.

All of this unknown really takes a strength and courage that I am never quite sure where I get it from. It just shows up when it needs to. Yet, my anxiety and stress is at an all-time high.

I try to keep things light and joke with him but he can tell.

This is all really just a test of our endurance and I feel it wavering at times but I know I can't let him down. If the only thing I can do is be here for him then that's the only thing I can do. I just wish I had the power to do more and make him a lot more comfortable during this stretch of illness than I am able to.

Still no news from the doctors on whether surgery is a go or not. So, that's been an irritation but we are trying to run with the fact that no news is good news. And hopefully, his picc line will be taken out by Thursday or Friday. Yet, I know I will be on the phone my first chance this morning trying to get as much information as possible.

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